Thursday, October 29, 2020

#113 Phil Brown Letter

 

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/10/113-phil-brown-letter.html

 

#113 Blog Post – Wednesday, October 28. 2020

 

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

Got a Book in the Works?

Here’s a Sweet Sales Pitch! 



During my direct marketing/junk mail career, I would run into Phil Brown two or three times a year at various business gatherings. We were always glad to see each other and catch up on industry gossip and news.

 

This past Monday I received a personal letter from Phil, whom I had not thought of for years. When I say “personal” I mean it. See my name and address hand typed on the envelope. And the handwritten “Personal” to the left of address block.

 

Plus two First Class stamps—one affixed to the outer envelope, the other on the reply envelope.

 

Phil has a story to tell and he’s spending money to get me involved!

 

I grew up in the book business. My father wrote 44 historical biographies. I have written 7 business books and 4 novels.

 

Never in the 75 years I have been reading books have I ever received a letter like the one below—an author to a friend/acquaintance.

 

The letter touches nearly all bases. My name, Denny, is mentioned 5 times in the letter: address, salutation, twice in the body of the letter and at the close. Phil is talking to me.



Phil Played by the Rules

• He starts with the COVID lockdown. This is current news. He has my attention.

• He will personally sign and dedicate my copy.

• Shipping is free.

• Plus a premium: a free copy of his children's book, Rorag—A Dragon's Quest

 

Dick Benson on Premiums

• A premium is a bribe to say Yes now.

• Promptness is often the best reason for giving the premium.

• Dollar-for-dollar, premiums are better incentives than cash discounts.

• Desirability is the key element of a premium; the relationship of the premium to the product isn’t important.

• Two premiums are frequently better than one.

 

  Additional Rules Phil Played by

• “Short words! Short sentences! Short paragraphs! —Andrew J. Byrne, Freelancer

• "Use your real signature—untidy, with flourishes, ugly. Make it obvious YOU signed the letter. Not some damn computer. Your signature is your handshake." —Malcolm Decker


Where Phil Broke the Rules

As I recall, Phil Brown’s entire career was spent in the business of direct mail. He knew all about it—the arithmetic, the mechanics, lists and list rental, printing, inserting, Post Office Regulations and discounts. It is a hugely complex and enormously expensive medium. Try it on your own—without expert guidance—chances are you’ll lose your shirt.


But alas, he broke four long-accepted rules.

 

1. It's Too Long

50% of adults cannot read at an eighth grade level." —Literacy Project

The addictive nature of web browsing can leave you with an attention span of nine seconds—the same as a goldfish.” —Dr. Ted Selker, MIT Media Lab

When I submitted my first novel, Cedarhurst Alley, my publisher, a laconic Swede named Paul Eriksson, gave me an 8-word critique: “Clean it up and cut it in half.” It was a nightmare but I did it. Cut characters, cut scenes, cut, cut, cut.  It was better, stronger. Funnier. High point in my fiction career: A short review in TIME magazine.

 

Phil’s letter goes on and on for four pages and runs out of steam well before you get to page 3.”

 

My suggestion: Phil shouldda cut it in half.

 

2.  What’s with the Green Type?

Letters should look and feel like letters,” said the great guru Dick Benson.

 

Nobody types a personal letter and uses green type as part of the body copy. Old Remington typewriters did not have green type! Green type says, “Whoops! This is techno-stuff—not a personally typed letter.


3. Also Included...


Phil included this "brochure" — the "it" copy. The letter is the main salesman and is all about "you": what these features and benefits will do for you.
  
The brochure is all about "it"—showing it (the product), what it looks like, testimonials and reviews. This 8-1/2" x 11" piece was printed on one side only. The back is blank.
 
An early rule I learned: never send a blank piece of paper in the mail. Paper is heavy. You know that from lugging a ream of paper for the printer home from Staples. My advice to anyone: design a 5-1/2" x 4-1/4" (half the above piece) and use both sides.
 
4. The Ultimate Problem
Before anything, always run the numbers. It is absolutely, positively impossible to make money sending out a hugely expensive full-dress direct mail package selling a $12.99 product. 

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Word count: 736

 

7 comments:

  1. Hi Denny!

    I love it. And I don’t disagree with your conclusions, either.

    I will point out however that my enterprise has no serious profit motive, so I don’t mind sending out blank-sided brochures and 4-page letters. I just wanted to make something that you would find impressive enough to open and read. Truthfully, Denny, this was a letter to you in the genre of a selling Valentine. You will note that it is hand-made, pretty much, a one-off, including the obscure but intriguing 4-folded brochure of Roarg. Admit it, you did open it up with curiosity, and perhaps even tried to fold it back up the same way and could not.

    As for the green type, I do agree, this letter doesn’t fit into the mono-color black ribbon typewriter class. But I am making a hat tip to the current 21st century culture: we now accept word processing as de rigeur, along with its capabilities to alter fonts and colors. And frankly, who really sells books by letter mail these days?

    As for length, I agree with your conclusion: it could be a two-pager. But then I could not include all of the supporting testimonials -in green- which inform the reader about the book itself. I am of the school that many scanners will skip the body, and just go to the PS, but the undecided will go back and continue to read until they decide yes or no.

    Over all, I conclude that I am thrilled that you took the time and effort to read and review. As for the books, they are already on your way, and I hope that they bring you, or your family members some enjoyment.

    All the best, and may you survive the upcoming election fray!

    Phil.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Denny, I already have my copy of this book and am thoroughly enjoying Phil's ink-on-paper walk down memory lane. I did work for Phil when he was at RRD and he quickly became a favorite client. Smart. Funny. Caring. I enjoyed reading your post about him, his letter to you, and his book. (BTW, I also consider you to be smart, funny and caring.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Small world! Thank you for taking the time to comment. Do keep in touch. Cheers.

      Delete
    2. I know who this is! Denny, you have an august and dedicated following of very bright and creative people.

      Delete
  3. Denny - as you and I have discussed, most times long-form letters out-perform short-form. I'm going to save this in my "Great Examples" files along with your comments. I think I'd do a split test with a long form and a short form.

    My vote: No green. Also - the testimonials are weak and would be much more believable with a persons first AND LAST name, city and ST. Super-believable if the testimonial had a picture next to the name, city, ST.

    Great article Denny. Best to you and your lovely bride.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great (as awlays) to hear from you, Will. Yeah, this was an interesting challenge. I was delighted Phil Brown did not take offense (see his comment above) and agrees with what I said.
      Do keep in touch! Cheers.

      Delete
  4. Denny—me? Take offense?? No way. I was once told by my direct mail mentor Bob Sabloff, Readers Digest, as he looked at me and my disdain for a well-crafted package, “Remember Phil, YOUR opinion doesn’t count. It’s up to your prospect.”

    ReplyDelete