Wednesday, February 23, 2022

#146 Tiny Oops

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2022/02/146-tiny-oops_23.html

#146 Blog Post – Wednesday, 23 February 2022

 

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

Tiny Oops Causes a Catastrophe.
It Pays to Sweat the Small Stuff.

 

Who will buy over 10,000 mugs, tea sets
and decorative plates with the misprint?

Stephanie Petit , People, 02-01-2022

 

Okay, I’ll confess. For years Peggy and I have been subscribers to Majesty magazine. We are fascinated by the comings and goings of the Royal Family. We’ve toured Buckingham Palace, slavishly watched their weddings and funerals on TV. Atop our own tele is a mini statue of Her Majesty in a pink coat whose hand waves when heated by sunlight.

 

“Who will buy over 10,000 mugs, tea sets and decorative plates with the misprint?” asked Stephane Petit in People. I would in a heartbeat! I spent much of an hour on the Internet trying to buy just one of these pieces to celebrate Her Majesty’s 70th Jubbly. Alas, only the whole kit and kaboodle was available for $44,000. Tough to store in a two-bedroom apartment.

 

Lemme say, I have always had terrible eyesight (20/400) and am a lousy proofreader. It’s humiliating when a reader calls my attention to one. Pity the poor employee who let this gleaming howler see light of day!

 

While I’m on the Subject of Staff Gaffes,

Stacy Abrams Foes Will Have a Field Day!

 

Another employee I pity is the campaign worker who allowed the media to glom onto the above photo of a barefaced Stacy Abrams—able to spew COVID-19—surrounded by a gaggle of very young kids all wearing masks.

 

Toward the end of his life, ex-President Lyndon Johnson was brought news of a “minor break-in” at Washington’s posh Watergate complex. “This has a long fuse,” Johnson said.

 

My bet: same thing with this bizarre portrait of Stacy Abrams.

 

A Direct Marketing Catastrophe.


Bob Hacker—at Work and at Leisure

This is a true story told to me by the brilliant, curmudgeonly Seattle Guru, Bob Hacker. Back in the 1990s, he was called by a high-powered, highly regarded ophthalmology partnership that needed help IMMEDIATELY. Bob and his newest young copywriter hopped in the car and were in the doctors’ offices in minutes.

 

They were greeted by two of the doctors who handed Bob and his associate a superb direct mail marketing effort. It was created, produced and mailed by a well-known local agency. It was gorgeous! Elegant! It followed all the rules and contained all the right elements—offer, letter, headlines, easy-to-read copy, contact information and exuberant testimonials from delighted patients. The doctors were so sure it would bring in legions of new patients that they opted to eschew the hugely expensive small test go for an immediate mass mailing roll-out that had a CPM they could live with.

 

The results? No results. Not a single response. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

 

Bob told the doctors to leave him and his associate alone so they could read and evaluate the mailing.

 

Fifteen minutes later Bob's young copywriter summoned the doctors back into the room.

 

“Here’s what I propose,” Bob said. “This is a sound, thoroughly professional effort. It requires a few small changes. I will revamp this mailing, pay for the changes, printing, list rental, postage and mailing costs. I will charge you…. [he named an exorbitant fee]. Here’s my guarantee: This mailing will bring in [he named huge number of responses]. If the mailing does not live up to—my promises, my fee and the cost of the mailing will be free. I will pay all costs and you owe me nothing.”

 

The doctors agreed to the deal. 

 

Back in the car, the copywriter was gobsmacked. “Bob, how could you make a promise like that?” he asked in disbelief.

 

Before putting the car in gear, Hacker handed his young assistant the mailing and pointed to a single sentence in the letter:        

        

What’s more when we cut into your eye it

doesn’t hurt nearly as much as you think it will.

 

 

The Worst Typo in Newspaper History

 


When you see a photograph of America’s 28th President, Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924), the terms stud muffin or hottie do not come immediately to mind. He had an angular face and wore rimless eyeglasses that made him look like a stern schoolmaster. Yet he thrived on female companionship and golf. During his presidency, he played more golf than Barrack Obama and Donald Trump combined. When Ellen Axson Wilson—his adored wife of 29 years and mother of his three daughters—contracted  Bright’s disease and died suddenly on August 6, 1914, President Wilson was devastated and went into a deep depression.  

 

In March 1915 Wilson’s first cousin Helen Woodrow Bones—who had become the official White House Hostess—introduced the bereaved president to Edith Bolling Galt, the glamorous, elegant widow of Norman Galt, proprietor of Galt & Bro., Washington’s premier jeweler. 

 

Wilson was instantly besotted and became a changed and happy man. The gossip-crazed Washington society reveled in any and all accounts of their comings-and-goings. They were seen together all over Washington. In two months, they were engaged to be married.

 

The Lost "tain"

It was in 1915 The Washington Post committed the greatest gaffe in Newspaper history. Newspapers had already been somewhat cruel and crude about the relationship. One joke which ran in a Washington paper asked, “What did Mrs. Galt do when the President asked her to marry him?"  The answer: "She fell out of bed.”  After a date night at the theater, President Wilson opened up the morning edition of The Washington Post and found an appalling typographical error that set tongues wagging and led to the Post frantically trying to reclaim newspapers from newsstands before they were sold and read.  A report in the Post mentioned the President’s attendance at the theater and noted, “Rather than paying attention to the play, the President spent the evening entering Mrs. Galt." 

The Post, meaning to write that the President "spent the evening entertaining Mrs. Galt” desperately apologized to both Edith and the President, but it certainly didn’t help with the nasty rumors about the budding relationship.—Anthony Bergen, Presidential Historian 

President Wilson married Mrs. Galt at her Washington home on December 18, 1915, amid a small gathering of 40 family and friends.

From My Father's Biography of Edith Galt Wilson

The White House Pierce-Arrow was waiting in the roped-off street. The bride and groom got away so quickly that the distant crowd had no time to raise a cheer. They drove to Alexandria where the President's private car, named Mayflower, was waiting attached to a train bound for Hot Springs, Virginia. The press and the public were for once circumvented as they waited hopefully at Washington's Union Station.

     There has been only one break in the security that all parties maintained. Mr. Starling of the Secret Service said many years later that as he reported for duty in the private car the following morning he was astounded to see the President of the United States, all dressed up in a cutaway and high silk hat, dancing a buck-and-wing while he sang at the top of his voice:

"Oh, you beautiful doll,
You great big, beautiful doll!

 —Alden Hatch, 1961
   Edith Bolling Wilson, First Lady Extraordinary

Takeaways to Consider

 

• “A careless shepherd makes excellent dinner for a wolf.”

   —Earl Derr Biggers, (1884-1933)

      Author of the Charlie Chan Detective Series

 

• Before you commit anything to print or email, run a spelling and grammar check.

 

• In business and in life, always sweat the small stuff. It’s easier than later dealing with a painful bite out of your ass.

 

• Before clicking "SEND" on an important email, send it to yourself to make sure it arrives with no goofs or errors.


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Monday, February 7, 2022

#145 YouTube Video...

 #145 Blogpost – Tuesday, February 8, 2022

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2022/02/145-youtube-video.html

 

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

A YouTube Confession: My Passionate
50-year Lovefest with Direct Mail!

 


This all started with Brian Kurtz—for many years the #2 guy at a funky, family-owned little newsletter company called Boardroom Inc. Brian worked closely with workaholic founder Martin Edelston (1929-2013) and oh-so-physically-frail copywriter Mel Martin. Together they grew it into a $150-million-a-year behemoth.

 

Over 20 years as editor and publisher of the WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service and later Target Marketing Magazine — I gave a lot of ink to the Boardroom organization.  

 

Following Marty Edelston’s passing Brian fetched up as founder of a private pricy ($20,000-a-year-dues) direct marketing association, Titans Mastermind.

 

At some point a number of months ago out of the blue Brian called (or maybe e-mailed) asking me to do a presentation to his membership at one of his upcoming meetings. I initially said no thank you; I don’t do speaking engagements anymore, especially not during this gawd-awful pandemic. He badgered and bugged me until I finally said okay. As a bonus, Brian said my talk—and the discussion afterwards—would be recorded on video. And, of course, all expenses would be paid.

 

I agreed, figuring maybe this would result in fodder for a blog post and, possibly, worth a shot on YouTube.

 

The result: a PowerPoint presentation that consumed me for three months. 

 

PowerPoint?

 

“Power corrupts. PowerPoint Corrupts Absolutely.”

                                                    —Edward Tufte

 

 

What Happened

It turned out my PowerPoint journey reduced the 827 years of direct mail history to 40 minutes and 42 seconds.

 

When it was finished, I was invited to attend Brian's entire three-day conference—meals, booze and camaraderie—all things I used to adore.  At 86—with the killer COVID-19 rampaging across the world—I opted for a quick in-and-out.

 

My PowerPoint was scheduled for immediately after lunch followed by a general discussion, after which I could skedaddle home to Philly in time for dinner.

 

I arrived around noon and sat through a ZOOM presentation by an intense, brilliant and glib young woman—as I recall at a Toronto venue. She was onscreen for most of an hour and talked business management techniques. The discussion that followed might as well have been in Greek or Urdu. The whole session was above my pay grade.


Brian Kurtz

Because of COVID, live attendance at Brian's symposium was light—roughly 25-30 participants. I knew two of the players from years back, one of whom was a former client. I was scared to death that my li’l nuts-‘n’-bolts old-fashioned junk mail tale would bore the hell out of these hugely successful techno-wizards.

 

After a hearty buffet lunch, I was introduced and did my thing. Mercifully I made no goofs on the delivery. It turned out a number of the attendees were heavily into direct mail (some totally dependent on it) and I had managed to raise some issues that expanded their horizons.  

 

About This YouTube Video

Alas, Brian's recording of my PowerPoint was patchy. My voice is no longer strong and I faded in-and-out. The live audience heard me okay, but the sound recording did not pick up everything. As a result, I re-recorded my presentation at a professional studio a couple of blocks from home. The current version is audibly okay.


Below is the Link to My PowerPoint. It Ends with The Most Successful Advertisement in the History of the World.
(And the Arithmetic to Prove It!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ww8a-8hyio&t=107s

Regarding the discussion that followed, a goodly number of fascinating points were raised. Many contributed. Everybody learned something. I know I did. But attendees did not have individual mics. The session was disjointed. Some of the dialogue was totally inaudible. The camerawork casual. Participants wandered about  the room, some masked, others barefaced. For general distribution it would need editing and a professional sound upgrade.

My opinion: In its current iteration the discussion can be valuable to industry professionals, but not to a world-wide YouTube audience. So it would not be lost for all time, I saved the discussion session (which runs about 40 minutes) on a non-public YouTube site that's available only by private invitation.


As a Subscriber to This Blog, You're Invited
To View the Raw Footage of the Discussion

Email me and I'll send you a private link to the discussion on a confidential basis. I am: dennyhatch@yahoo.com.


Thank you.

P.S. Below is the link to complete history of the Two Young Men mailing (the most successful advertisement in the history of the world), copy, design and back-up correspondence with copywriter Martin Conroy (1922-2006) and Wall Street Journal circ director Paul Bell:

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2019/01/37-most-successful-advertisement-in.html

 

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