#160 Tesla

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2022/06/160-tesla.html

#160 Blog Post - Wednesday, 22 June 2022

 Posted by Denny Hatch

 

Uber Drivers Are Buying Teslas!

                                                          

 

Five years ago, Peggy and I downsized to a two-bedroom apartment in center city, Philadelphia. As pensioners, we sold our car. Why? Gas + insurance + garage + repairs were eating up thousands of dollars a year for something we hardly used. Philly's elaborate bus and subway systems are free to seniors (paid for by the Lottery). Two food markets and two pharmacies are within easy walking distance, plus delis and good restaurants — good exercise! If we have a bunch of errands, a ride-share car is available two blocks away. ($9 an hour, $26 a day.) For longer trips, Enterprise car rental is two blocks in the other direction. But ultimately, we love Uber.

 

An Uber Double Surprise

The other day I summoned an Uber for a short drive within center city. Astonishingly what showed up 10 minutes later was a gleaming white 2022 Tesla! It was gorgeous—a magnificent work of automotive design, comfort, art and sheer genius!

 

A Tesla costs from $48,000 on up to $123,000 with the limited edition "Founders Series" going for a cool quarter mill. My driver was an affable young guy. I was fascinated! In our short ride I peppered him with questions about his car and his life. When I got home I immediately typed up my notes.

 

The following week I called for an Uber, and mirabile dictu! a sparkling red 2022 Tesla arrived. The driver was another young guy, a happy owner immensely proud of his vehicle. I was dazzled!

 

Both drivers had the same answer to my first question: "Why a Tesla?"

 

Answers: "The price of gas. Over $5 a gallon. The cost for a full tank of gas is $66.00. A full charge of electricity for the Tesla is $14."

 

Andy Serwer's 12-word Dictum

As if on cue this past Saturday, Yahoo! Finance MORNING BRIEF with Andy Serwer arrived. Serwer posed the question: "So if gas prices are too high, what is one to do?" Serwer's 12-word reply to his own question:

 

"Three options: Buy an EV. Drive less. Buy Exxon Mobil [XOM] stock."

 

Quick Thoughts on Elon Musk Taking on the
Big Four—GM, Ford, Chrysler and Foreigners

In recent years, I was aware of Elon Musk and his electric powered Tesla. I never took much interest.

 

I grew up in the 1940s and 1950s. Following World War II, Americans were starved for new cars. A number of American start-ups tried to compete with Detroit (GM, Ford, Chrysler). Only Jeep survived. A sampling:

 

 

I was deeply influenced by the wonderful 1988 film, Tucker: The Man and His Dream. It starred an ebullient Jeff Bridges as Preston Tucker and was directed by the brilliant (The Godfather) Francis Ford Coppola. The 1948 Tucker Torpedo made big news with its many innovations. Among them:

• Fuel injection engine.

• Disc brakes.

• Four-wheel independent suspension.

• Seat belts.

• Padded dashboard

• Three headlights: the middle one popping on and swiveling in the direction you were turning so you could see where you were going.

• Gas consumption was 20 MPG (vs. say, the 10 MPG for a giant Hudson).

 

Only 51 Tuckers were built (47 are extant and running today). Whereupon the company—in the crosshairs of Detroit—ran out of money and was involved in an ugly lawsuit. There was gawdawful PR (including the fake news rumor that the Tucker Torpedo had no reverse gear and could only go forward). The company crashed and burned. Preston Tucker, a heavy smoker, died of lung cancer six years later at age 53. BTW, the film was (and is) mesmerizing, although a box office failure.

 

On Amazon Prime Video. You'll Love It!

https://www.amazon.com/Tucker-Man-Dream-Jeff-Bridges/dp/B0036OUENA

 

The Tucker movie was etched in my DNA.  Ever since I saw it, I believed that the odds were too high for an upstart American manufacturer to compete with Ford, GM and Chrysler who had been producing automobiles for ninety to a hundred years. For example, in its development phase, Tesla had serious software and battery problems, self-driving glitches and huge recalls. At prices running from $48,000 to $250,000, Tesla seemed a toy for the guilty rich who wanted to make a statement on the horrors of fossil fuels and climate change. IMO Musk was a space cadet—more interested in moon rockets than cars.

 

How dead wrong I was!

 

Elon Musk on the Early Days of Tesla: 
Interview Part 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeeeEDSekG8 

(NOTE: Be sure to click on CC—Closed Captions)

 

The most riveting two minutes of the interview was Musk's saga of four agonizing years, 2008-2012. He was on the ropes. His  two fledgling companies—Tesla Motors and SpaceX—were perpetually teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. The great recession—plus a divorce... with his wife living in the house... caused Musk to camp out in the office. He was not a happy camper.

 

Astoundingly, just 10 years later in 2022, Forbes designated Elon Musk the richest man in the world!

https://www.forbes.com/real-time-billionaires/#41ad28a23d78  

 

         • Elon Musk          ($213.9 billion)

         • Jeff Bezos          ($131.9 billion)

         • Bill Gates           ($121.0 billion)

         • Warren Buffett    ($ 93.4 billion)

         • Larry Ellison        ($ 93.0 billion)

         • Larry Page          ($ 93.0 billion)

Rich entrepreneurs are not to be dismissed lightly. They didn't get rich making dumb mistakes.

 

Tesla's Arithmetic for Uber Drivers

A full tank of gas is averaging $5.00+ a gallon or roughly $66 (on up to $100 a tankful depending on the size of the car). With a range of say, 435 miles, operating cost for a gas-powered automobile is 15.3¢ a mile on up to 21¢.

 

With the new Tesla, a full charge of electricity costs $14 for 375 miles  — or 3.7¢ a mile.

 

When a Tesla Needs More Juice...

For gas-powered vehicles, filling stations are everywhere. How do you find a Tesla charging station in a strange area?

 

One of my drivers touched the huge 15" screen on the dashboard and instantly brought up a local map showing where we were... where the nearest charging stations are... and how to get there. Easy peasy.

 

What else makes Tesla special in addition to lower operating cost?

• A Tesla is gloriously roomy and comfortable.

• She runs in absolute dead silence. 

• She has pick-up to die for — zero-to-60 in 1.98 seconds.

• No transmission or gear shift. She simply goes.

• No transmission or gear shift means lots less mechanical wear and tear.

 

Takeaways to Consider

• As longtime readers of this cranky blog know, I am fixated on the concept of the USP — the Unique Selling Proposition introduced by legendary advertising executive and copywriter Rosser Reeves (1910-1984).  The USP is a short pith phrase that instantly makes a product or service recognizable and unique in the marketplace. Examples:

— Rolls-Royce ("At 60 miles an hour, the loudest noise in the new Rolls-Royce is the electric clock.")

— Morton Salt ("When it rains, it pours.")

— Wheaties ("Breakfast of Champions.")

— DeBeers ("A diamond is forever.")

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2018/10/26-your-toughest-copywriting-challenge.html

 

• Two possible USPs for Tesla:

— "Imagine! Up to $100 for your full tank of gas vs. $14 for the all-electric Tesla!"

— "Imagine! 21¢-a-mile cost to run your car vs. 3.7¢ for the all-electric Tesla!"

• P.S. For a fascinating add-on, check out on YouTube Tucker 48: The Car That Was Too Good For Detroit. It features Preston Tucker's great-grandsons giving a demo of the Tucker Torpedo and comparing Preston Tucker with Elon Musk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrR-EjOLUrY

 

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#159 Disclaimers

#159 Blog Post - Tuesday, 14 June 2022

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2022/06/159-disclaimers.html

Posted by Denny Hatch

The Nutty Business
Of Legal Disclaimers

 

 

Announcing: "The Blaux Portable Bidet"

A serial prowler of the Internet  I stumbled across the above little ad somewhere and was immediately intrigued. I went to the website and downloaded all the copy and design.

 

The $49 "Blaux Portable Bidet" is a kind of water pistol designed to replace old fashioned toilet paper.

 

What a strange name for a product! I thought. For starters, only 12% of bathrooms in homes and hotels in United States are equipped with a bidet.

 

Yeah, these bathroom fixtures are all over Europe.  But to a huge percentage of Americans, the word bidet (Is it pronounced "by-dette"?) is meaningless.

 

I skimmed the features and benefits, found the entire proposition to be nose-wrinkling unpleasant and was about to delete everything and move on to some other subject...

 

... when I came across the most extraordinary disclaimer statement in the history of advertising.

 

Copyright © 2022 All Rights Reserved.

Privacy Policy | Terms of Use

This is an advertisement and not an actual news article, blog, or consumer protection update.

The story depicted on this site and the person depicted in the story are not actual news. Rather, this story is based on the results that some people who have used these products have achieved. The results portrayed in the story and in the comments are illustrative and may not be the results that you achieve with these products. This page could receive compensation for clicks on or purchase of products featured on this site.

 

All product and company names are trademarks™ or registered® trademarks of their respective holders. Unless specifically identified as such, our use of third-party trademarks does not indicate any relationship, sponsorship, or endorsement between strong current and the owners of these trademarks. Any references by us to third party trademarks are to identify the corresponding third-party goods and/or services and fall under nominative fair use under the trademark law.

 

Testimonials appearing on this site individual real-life experiences of those who have used our products and/or services in some way or another. The testimonials are voluntarily provided with no compensation. The results are not typical and are not necessarily representative of all of those who will use our products and/or services. They cannot be guaranteed. Before and after photos were not retouched or altered. Results were self-reported by the customer and therefore cannot be confirmed. Our company is not responsible for any of the opinions or comments posted on our site.

 

 Don't squint. Here's that last line in readable type:

 

"Our company is not responsible for
any of the opinions or comments
posted on our site."

 

Holy smokes! In 60 years of direct marketing — as a copywriter, publisher, editor-in-chief, ad salesman, and reporter — I had never ever come across such a "Blanket Disclaimer."

 

What this unbelievable message is really saying: "These 16 words hereby give the perpetrators of this website full license to lie, cheat and steal."

 

In plain English: "Don't waste your time. Everything you read here is probably B.S."

 

• For the full story of Blaux Portable Bidet online promotion, here is the link.

  

About "Promises" Made by Advertisers

Okay, copywriters and agency creative directors can get carried away dreaming up features and benefits. If the smartypants creatives are not reined in, the advertiser can land in Big Trouble — with a capital B and a capital T — with the Federal Trade Commission.

 

An example is the "Pump-'n'-Dump Industry.

 

At a Direct Marketing Association convention exhibit hall long ago I bumped into a copywriter I had known for 30 years and asked what he was up to.

 

 “I specialize in pump-'n'-dump.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“If you need capital for your company, I can help you pump up the price of your penny stock and then you can dump it on the market and it will be snapped up by speculators.

 

Here a classic "Pump-'n'-Dump direct mail outer envelope received in the WHO'S MAILING WHAT! archive on Jan. 24, 2012:

 

Below is the lingo for the generic legal Disclaimer that makes Pump-'n'-Dump promises allowable. Disclaimers are usually found in 8-point gray mousetype—hard as hell to read and easy peasy to ignore by greedy suckers visualizing obscene 813% profits.

 

Revered Corporations Hide Behind Disclaimers:
Large Print on United Airlines/Chase Envelope

 

 

Below: United Airlines/Chase Disclaimer Document

Let's parse these exclusions/disclaimers from my book, Write Everything Right! 

What’s going on is a textbook example of how lawyers and complicit marketers can come up with a way to tell customers and prospects they can be screwed with absolutely no recourse. This stuff is typical of the entire financial services industry. The trick: make it so impossibly difficult to comprehend nobody will bother to read the thing.

A final note about financial services marketing

The word “services” (as in “financial services”) reminds me of a story told by the late Barry Gray, the mellifluous-voiced fixture on New York talk radio for 50 years.

      On a late-night broadcast, Gray did a riff on the boyhood of the great American humorist, trick rope artist and Ziegfeld Follies star Will Rogers and the meaning of the word “service.”

     When Rogers was 10 years old, he was sitting on the split-rail fence of his family’s 400-acre spread located on the shore of Lake Oologah, Oklahoma. He looked up and saw an immense, blue-ribbon-prize bull from the adjoining ranch being led across his property. Its destination was the adjacent ranch where he was scheduled to service a prize heifer.

     “Since then, every time I hear the word ‘service,’” Rogers said years later, “I know somebody is going to get screwed.”

 

If you want to obfuscate, here are the rules to break

• “Column Width: 35 to 55 characters is a good target range for optimum comprehension. Ten or eleven point type is generally most readable on a column width of about a third of a page.” —Ed Elliott

         (Note: The columns in the UAL-Chase disclaimer are 190 characters wide.)

• “Type smaller than 9-point is difficult for most people to read.” —David Ogilvy

         (Note: The Chase/UA disclaimer copy is 8-point.)

 

• Want to make copy tough to read? Create gray walls of type set it in gray sans serif type. The lighter the gray the more impossible to read.

 

Takeaways to Consider

• "Avoid gray walls of type." —David Ogilvy.

 

• "Direct mail [direct marketing] should be scrupulously honest." —Dick Benson

 

• "The large print giveth and the small print taketh away."
— Tom Waits

 

• "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
    —William Shakespeare, Henry VI, Part II, Act IV, Scene 2

 

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