Posted by Denny Hatch
How to Create a
Breakthrough
Direct Mail Package: Part II
Direct Mail Package: Part II
PLEASE NOTE: This is Part II of a 2-part Post.
If you missed Part I last week, here is the link:
• A Personal Note: As you know from
last week’s post, I completed this mailing—copy, design and revisions—last January. After many requests for payment I never received a check. I finally gave up and figured okay, so this won't be a total loss I’ll repackage it and use it for a teaching moment. Happily a reader
forwarded Part I to the client and it prompted action. Yesterday, after five
months, the check arrived. A belated “thank you” to one and all.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
After opening the
envelope, you have no way of knowing
which element the prospect will look at first.
Bob
Hacker has pointed out that people process information two ways: rationally and
analytically as well as irrationally and emotionally. Right-brain people—who
rely primarily on the emotional and irrational approach—will read the letter
first. Rational, data driven Left-brainers—will go for the circular.which element the prospect will look at first.
Me, I always look at the order card first so I’ll know exactly what the deal
is.
A Full-dress Direct Mail Packages Is a Sales Team
By Malcolm
Decker, Entrepreneur and Freelance Copywriter
I read books and articles and any
kind of authoritative materials about my subject I can find, until I feel
comfortable—or, as [poet Robert] Frost said, “easy in my harness.”
I can’t
speak for other writers, but only after I’ve done the research can I begin to
discern an outline. This means taming an unruly mass of information, notes,
interview quotes, reading material, samples of the products or services,
illustrations and maybe videos.
Eventually I can begin to get my head around the various facets of the story. Pieces fall into place and take shape—the lede, the direction, the middle and the end.
Eventually I can begin to get my head around the various facets of the story. Pieces fall into place and take shape—the lede, the direction, the middle and the end.
• First, the
Envelope knocks on the door to see if anyone’s home.
• Second, the
Major Letter—the salesman—takes over.
Once the envelope is opened, the letter is the most important member of the
team. It sells soft or it sells hard. It spins yarns or it spouts
facts. It’s long (but never long-winded) or it’s pithy. However it comes
on, it’s loaded with customer benefits... Customer Benefits... CUSTOMER
BENEFITS.
The letter itself is the pen-and-ink embodiment of a
salesperson who is speaking personally and directly to the prospect on a
one-to-one basis.
The letter is
the most powerful selling force in direct marketing, once the product, price
and offer are set.
The
letter is likely to be the only “person” your market will ever meet, at least
on the front-end of the sale. Don’t make him highbrow if your market is lowbrow
and vice versa. Make sure he speaks your prospect’s language. If he’s a Tiffany
salesman, he writes in one style; if he’s a grapefruit or pecan farmer, or a
beef grower, he wraats dif’urntly.
I
develop as clear a profile of my prospect as the available research offers and
then try to match it up with someone I know and “put him in a chair” across
from me. Then I write to him more or less as though I were talking with him.
The
salesperson in the letter is doing the job he obviously loves and is good at.
He knows the product inside and out and is totally confident in and at ease with
its values and benefits—even its inconsequential shortcomings—and wants to let
his prospect in on a good thing.
How Long Should a Letter Be?
The best answer to that age-old
question is: “As long as it has to be.” That doesn’t tell you much, but it suggests
two important criteria: economy and efficiency.
As a
sometime angler, I get a better sense of length by remembering a fishing trip
to Maine when we used dry flies with barbless hooks. Unless you kept up the
tension all the way to the net, you lost the trout. Try it. You should feel the
same sort of tension when you write and read a letter. If not ... reel in the
slack.
• Third, when
the demonstrator—the Folder or Brochure—goes to work, it is “Show-‘n’- Tell
Time.”
Like the letter, it can stand on its own. But it’s most effective when it demonstrates in graphics what the letter can only say in words. It should convince the reader in images that everything the letter said is true.
Because it is impersonal, the voice should differ in tone and color form the letter: It is the company—not an individual—talking to the prospect. It shows and demonstrates—and proves—everything the very enthusiastic salesman said in the letter is true. Its job is to add visual dimension, and amplify certain points touched on lightly in the letter, thereby gaining further credibility for the offer.
The circular is frequently—but not necessarily—four-color. The pace is much different from that of the driving letter or the greased order card. The reader should be given as much time with the piece as needed or wanted. Although it must be carefully designed to unfold in the way you want to bring your prospect into the offer, he should be able to read every panel or page or spread independent of the others. Think of it as a smorgasbord rather than a seven-course sit-down dinner.
Like the letter, it can stand on its own. But it’s most effective when it demonstrates in graphics what the letter can only say in words. It should convince the reader in images that everything the letter said is true.
Because it is impersonal, the voice should differ in tone and color form the letter: It is the company—not an individual—talking to the prospect. It shows and demonstrates—and proves—everything the very enthusiastic salesman said in the letter is true. Its job is to add visual dimension, and amplify certain points touched on lightly in the letter, thereby gaining further credibility for the offer.
The circular is frequently—but not necessarily—four-color. The pace is much different from that of the driving letter or the greased order card. The reader should be given as much time with the piece as needed or wanted. Although it must be carefully designed to unfold in the way you want to bring your prospect into the offer, he should be able to read every panel or page or spread independent of the others. Think of it as a smorgasbord rather than a seven-course sit-down dinner.
(I felt “Buy-10-Get
One-FREE!” was so strong, I wanted the reader to act at once rather than sift
through a blizzard of paper, maybe get distracted, resulting in the mailing
being laid aside and lost under a pile of newspapers. So the “brochure” was the
reverse side of the letter. It’s okay to use two sides of each sheet of paper
in a mailing.
Martin Edelston, patron saint of the Boardroom empire once got a phone call from an irate woman who complained that by creating a two-page letter on two separate pages, he was trashing the environment. Marty snapped, “Madam, I’m in business to make money, not make a statement!” and hung up on her. —DH)
Martin Edelston, patron saint of the Boardroom empire once got a phone call from an irate woman who complained that by creating a two-page letter on two separate pages, he was trashing the environment. Marty snapped, “Madam, I’m in business to make money, not make a statement!” and hung up on her. —DH)
• Fourth, the Order Device
restates the offer in the pithiest, most unambiguous language possible.
(I used the typical National
Collector’s Mint design (front and back) for the order device. It has obviously
worked for them before. When creating a new mailing for a client, it’s not a
good idea to change everything for the sake of change. This is what NCM buyers
were used to. Why screw around with it? —DH)
Order
Card Obverse
Order
Card Reverse
• Fifth, the Publisher’s Letter
(or lift piece) is yet another voice backing up the key salesman, the long
letter. Its job is to convince the waverer and salvage the skeptics. It has
exciting new and different information than what’s in the letter and brochure—yet
another benefit and reason to take advantage of the offer.
(My work was sent off to the Mint. The word coming back was okay so far. What was needed was some romance stuff about Morgan Dollars and the Old West.
I
was basically consumed by the offer—in this case the 80% of the marketing
equation. NCM wanted the other 20%. Fair enough. I would do a lift
piece—separate brochure that would “lift” response.
In 1949 I was in Las Vegas. At age 13, I was not allowed into the
casinos. But standing in the doorways I could see the action. Coin of the realm
for the high rollers was the Morgan Silver Dollar—the equivalent of $10.76
today. They were everywhere—at blackjack, keno and poker tables and craps
games.
I clearly remember when a player hit the jackpot in a sliver dollar slot machine, the winner let out a loud whoop amid the click and clank of silver dollars spilling onto the floor.
I clearly remember when a player hit the jackpot in a sliver dollar slot machine, the winner let out a loud whoop amid the click and clank of silver dollars spilling onto the floor.
On August 2, 1876 Wild Bill Hickok was
playing poker at Nuttal & Mann’s Saloon in Deadwood, Dakota Territory when
he was shot at point blank range in the back of the head. He was holding the
winning cards—aces and eights—forever known as Dead Man’s Hand. On the table
was the pot of Morgan Silver Dollars.
I had to do better than regurgitate clichés
every schoolboy knows.
Then I remembered as kid, I saw the
original Irving Berlin Broadway Musical, Annie
Get Your Gun starring Ethel Merman and Ray Middleton, and later the film
version with Betty Hutton and Howard Keel. Here is one side of the lift piece I
came up with. —DH)
(Okay, now what about the
other side of this thing?)
(I began pondering why the
hell anyone in their right mind would amass a bunch of silver dollars. Yeah,
these coins are 90% pure silver (and 10% copper).
But silver prices fluctuate and coins are a lousy investment (as is gold). You can stick them away in a drawer or a safe and think about them. Coins don’t enrich your life such as paintings or sculptures or fine automobiles.
If you want to get your money quickly out of an investment, buy financial instruments (e.g. stocks, bonds or funds) that (1) can increase with value and (2) are easy to sell and turn into needed cash.
But silver prices fluctuate and coins are a lousy investment (as is gold). You can stick them away in a drawer or a safe and think about them. Coins don’t enrich your life such as paintings or sculptures or fine automobiles.
If you want to get your money quickly out of an investment, buy financial instruments (e.g. stocks, bonds or funds) that (1) can increase with value and (2) are easy to sell and turn into needed cash.
What’s more, if you tout gold or silver
coins as an investment—and suggest the price is going up—the FTC will jump all
over you.
Then
I remembered richest person in modern history—John D. Rockefeller (1839-1937),
founder, chairman and largest stockholder of Standard Oil—who on his death was
worth between $300 billion and $400 billion in today’s dollars. The other side
of my lift piece wrote itself.
The message in my lift piece—“Give an
authentic, uncirculated and gleaming antique Morgan Dollars as your signature
gift!”—was a possible USP (Unique Selling Proposition)! —DH).
• Sixth, the Postage-Paid
Business Reply Envelope (BRE) brings the order home.
Finally, it’s important to remember
that in direct mail, the word is king.
that in direct mail, the word is king.
Copy is the architect of the sale. Design and art are strongly supportive
interior designers that often set up the sale.
Because lookers are shoppers while readers are buyers, if you can firmly
engage your prospect—and keep him engaged—through reading, you’re on your way
to a sale.
—Malcolm Decker
—Malcolm Decker
Was This Mailing a Breakthrough?
In his Comment at the end of Part I, National Collector’s Mint Founder and CEO Avram
C. Freedberg wrote in part:
The outer envelope you posted saying that
is the one we used is totally incorrect and even misspelled. The use of foil
did seem like a good idea. So much so that we've tested same several times as
early as 30 years ago and found that it did not increase orders or revenue and,
in fact, had decreased same in some tests. The test package based on your
submissions failed miserably against our control, though we loved some of your
ideas so much, we recently tested a brochure with your historical material
added to the control versus the control. At present, that version's results are
on a par with the control.
Alas, the creatives at National Collector’s Mint
rewrote, revamped and redesigned my effort.
DH's opinion: A single word on the Mint's outer envelope and in the letter could have doomed this mailing:
DH's opinion: A single word on the Mint's outer envelope and in the letter could have doomed this mailing:
Mostly
To a serious collector or investor, "Mostly" is a poison pill. A deal killer.
To a serious collector or investor, "Mostly" is a poison pill. A deal killer.
Takeaways to
Consider
• I was astonished when I
saw the proofs with so many radical changes to my copy, design and
illustrations. No input. No explanation. This has never happened in more than
50 years of creating direct mail.
• “The Holy Grail of Direct Marketing is the single variable test.”
—Don Nicholas
• What the Mint wanted
was a complete new mailing—four radical new elements. If it did not beat the
control, many inexperienced marketers would never mail it again.
• The Mint was correct to
drop the Lift Piece into their current control mailings to see if it ups
response.
• If you are working on a
promotional mailing—either direct mail or digital—you will find the following
post helpful: Denny Hatch’s Ultimate
85-point Marketeer’s Checklist.
About Malcolm Decker,
Contributor to This Post
The guy who taught me the craft of writing a letter
was a great copywriter and most elegant gentleman, Malcolm Decker—friend and
mentor for 40 years as well as a sometime client.
As
founder and proprietor of Stamp Collectors Society of America, his specialty
was back-end marketing—keeping customer so happy they bought and bought and
bought.
For
example, Mal sold a series of 58 gold stamps commemorating the treasures of
Tutankhamun over the signature of George Worthington (aka Mal Decker).
“George writes at least a one-page letter
of 200 words with every stamp we send out. And then, of course, George offers
Christmas and Easter and other special stamps along the way so that by the time
they complete their collection, members had received about 50 letters from
George filled with information and gossip about the history of each stamp.
These fulfillment letters were all personalized and signed with a printed
reflex blue signature. I put as much time an effort on transmittal letter
number 48 as I did on the original letter that brought in the customer.
"Once in a while one of our
subscribers gets a windfall and buys the whole balance of his Collection at
once. But what's odd is that after he receives his stamps he oftentimes insists
on getting the whole set of transmittal letters from George, too. The letters
are perceived as having value and being an integral part of the collection.”
Mal’s
completion rate for his many stamp series was upward of 50%—unheard of in the
continuity business.
For this
post, I used the marvelous contribution on Direct Mail that Mal made to my
first book, “Million Dollar Mailing$.”
In early
in January 2015, Mal called to say he was moving on in a couple of weeks from
the copywriting world and wanted to say goodbye. He thanked me for the 30 years
of press coverage. I stumbled through the rest of the call and hung up. Mal
died on Feb. 16, 2015.
###
Word count: 2349
