Wednesday, April 28, 2021

#124 Freemiums

 #124 Blog Post - Wednesday, April 28, 2021

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/04/124-freemiums.html

Posted by Denny Hatch

Why Direct Mail Is Such Fun:
Lumpy Envelopes and Freemiums!


  When I was a kid in the 1940s, TIME magazine sent out renewal notices in a small envelope with a tiny lump at the bottom. This was a minuscule red pencil (black lead) embossed the magazine's logo.

The logic: a lumpy envelope stood out from the crowd and the dear little pencil was a convenience: no excuses for not checking the box:
          "YES! Please Renew for __1 year __2 years"

I remember being fascinated by the little pencils. How did they make them so small? How did the tiny lead get into the barrel of the pencil? What was the cost to TIME magazine? How were they inserted in the envelope—by hand? By machine?

I used to treasure the pencils; took 'em to school and showed my friends.

 Premiums/Freemiums

Many, many years later—when I drifted from being a traveling book salesman into managing book clubs, I had to learn all about direct mail and space advertising—the technology, the arithmetic (e.g. allowable Cost-per-Order, Offers, Pricing... all that fun stuff). 

When I ran the Meredith Book clubs, we tested:

Take the New Better Homes & Gardens Fondue Cookbook FREE! and you'll receive this sturdy steel Fondue pot FREE!—yours to keep whether or not you join the club! 


The arithmetic was pinned to the average number of paid books per member. Sans premiums (as I recall) the member became profitable after her fourth purchase. With the premium fondue pot she became profitable when she had paid for her sixth selection. The premium—the free goodie sent with the order—more than paid for itself when it raised response.

Same thing with the teeny TIME magazine pencil—the freemium was sent in the outgoing #9 envelope. Being lumpy, it separated itself from its stack of #10 cousins and obviously increased renewals because it was control for years.

       The ACLU's Splendid Pocket Freemium
Last week Peggy received a pitch from the American Civil Liberties Union in a lumpy #10 envelope. The lump: a pocket edition of the U.S. Constitution—a very relevant and imaginative gift carried by high-powered legal scholars, politicians and patriots.

Former ACLU president Susan Herman said the first time she recalled it being brandished in public was during the Senate Watergate Hearings in 1973. The brilliant Chairman, Democrat Sam Ervin of North Carolina pulled one out of his breast pocket and startled every in the room—and millions watching on TV—when he proclaimed in his southern drawl:
"There is nothing in the Constitution that authorizes or makes it the official duty of a president to have anything to do with criminal activities."


Great Americans Never Without Their Pocket Constitutions
Left to right:
Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Stephan Breyer, the longest serving member of the Senate, Robert Byrd (D, WV) and gold star father, Khizr Kahn.

     The Lede from Anthony D. Romero's Letter.

When the Freemiums Became
The Whole Point of the Campaign

On September 5, 1980 Candice Lightner founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Her 13-year-old daughter, Cari, was killed by a drunk driver. Billions of return address labels blitzed the country over the years and were affixed to the top left-hand corners of tens of millions of envelopes.


The two messages: (1) For God's sake don't drink and drive; you'll kill people. (2) If you're going out drinking, have a sober designated driver. Candice Lighners's powerful, deeply personal tragedy caught the public's imagination and the business took off. How many lives were saved as a result? It's incalculable. Probably tens of thousands.

Joe and Jane Lunchbox seeing their names and addresses on a dozen or so return address labels showing through the MADD envelope window resonated deep in their psyches. They could actually do something about drunk driving and make the world a better place!

It was also a gorgeous business model for the mailers. The whole point of the exercise was to create mailings to raise money to create more mailings to raise money... and so ad infinitum.

One could only wish someone could take on the Gun Lobby with a campaign like this! The problem: we're a country full of bloody minded gun nuts.

                   Takeaways to Consider
• The great direct marketing consultant, Dick Benson, proclaimed if you use a premium, it does not need to have any relationship to the offer. It's the desirability of the product that counts.

• Tote bags are obvious premiums—magazine circulation people use them all the time. After all a tote bag with the magazine's name on it is an ad for the magazine.

• However, a while back I received a real strange mailing from DOCTORS WITHOUT BOARDERS—a very fat 6"x9" cardboard envelope containing a donation pitch along with a tote bag. The Premium was the Freemium.



• My take: savvy consumers (and potential donors) could be very pissed off at DWB wasting all that money on a tote bag mailing when it could go toward healing. I cannot believe it was profitable.

• (If you received this mailing I'd sure like to know about it. It means the test was successful, was rolled out and I'm dead wrong.)

• Whereas a premium need not relate to the product or service, a freemium should relate to the contents of the mailing package (e.g., a pocket Constitution from ACLU).

• In the world of digital marketing, there ain't no freemiums and lumpy, attention-getting mailings.

• In short, next to digital marketing (and Social Media marketing), direct mail is (1) a hoot and (2) absolutely accountable.

###
 
Word Count:  929
 

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

#123 Blog Post - Snoop Marketing

#123 Blog Post - Tuesday, April 6, 2021

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/04/123-blog-post-snoop-marketing.html

 

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

ALL ABOUT SNOOP MARKETING

                                                                          Official Photo

The 122-word Warning to Direct Marketers from
The CEO of the World's Most Valuable Company

Technology does not need vast troves of personal data stitched together across dozens of websites and apps in order to succeed. Advertising existed and thrived for decades without it. And we’re here today because the path of least resistance is rarely the path of wisdom.

 

“At a moment of rampant disinformation and conspiracy theories juiced by algorithms, we can no longer turn a blind eye to a theory of technology that says all engagement is good engagement, the longer the better. And all with the goal of collecting as much data as possible.

 

"If a business is built on misleading users, on data exploitation, on choices that are no choices at all, then it does not deserve our praise. It deserves reform."
    —Tim Cook, CEO, Apple
     January 28, 2021, Data Privacy Day Speech

 

In 1984 Peggy and I launched WHO'S MAILING WHAT! a cranky little newsletter and archive service for professionals who marketed by direct mail. Mail was Top Dog—larger than TV, radio, print advertising, telemarketing, billboards and skywriting COMBINED!

 

Every now and again I would get a phone call from a reader asking how often a customer should be contacted.

 

When we sold the business to Target Marketing magazine where I became editor and publisher, I had roughly 20 times the number of readers. Whereupon I got a lot more calls asking how often a customer should be contacted.

 

My answer from the beginning:

"Contact your customer when you have something important to say that would be of interest to generate revenue—a great benefit, an exciting new product or service, news of a 'Buy-one-Get-One FREE!'" offer.

 

"What about software that keeps track of how often a customer is contacted? What is the best product? And does it work?"

 

My answer:
Put yourself in the customer's shoes. Would you want to hear from a vendor who was calling or writing with nothing to say just to see if you are still alive? 

 

A (Very) Short History of Data Collection

Anybody out there remember when lists were kept on Addressograph plates? Imagine tens of thousands of these metal things—each with one customer's address. Imagine tens of thousands of these metal things and the monstrous clattering machines that stored them, sorted them, inked them and addressed envelopes with them.


Enter primitive computers in the late 1940s and 1950s when the data collection industry graduated from tin plates to these paper punch cards.

In the 1960s—when I took over the Better Homes & Gardens book clubs, the heart of our business was the vast computer room that looked like this with dozens of magnetic tape reels and addressing machines that could spit out many thousands of envelopes, invoices and personalized rejection slips in an hour.
 
Remembering Ed Mayer (1907-1975)
   From 1939 to 1945 Mayer was a senior consultant to the State Department advising on propaganda. He set up a wartime system of dropping leaflets behind enemy lines from planes and balloons. After the War he went on to a distinguished career in the practice and teaching of direct marketing and authoring "How to Make Money in Direct Mail." Mayer's Rule—absolutely true today:
 "Success in direct marketing is 40% lists,
40% offer and 20% everything else."
 
Translated into Today's Lingo:
40% lists = Finding the right people to contact.
40% offer = Whaddya got to sell and what's the deal? 
20% everything else = Copy, design, website, guarantee, etc.
 
After 60 Years in the Business I Believe
All Emphasis Is on 40% Lists (Snooping)
For some reason today the lion's share of direct marketers have become besotted by the giddy world of creating high-tech electronic dossiers and scraping up every scintilla of gossip and professional information on every person in the English-speaking world. These creeps comb news, social media, personal correspondence by and about every human being from birth to death—and including it in the dossier. Whereupon they use it to "market" via A.I. (Asshole Intelligence.)
 
A personal aside: the 40% lists and list research always bored the hell out of me. My fascination was (and is) what you say to prospects and customers and how you say it so they will part with their money.
 
My Rude Awakening, May 16, 2018
That day I mentioned in a blog post I had lower back pain. A long time caring reader named Stan sent me a comment suggesting I look into a nationwide consortium of physical therapists. Precisely at 11:00 a.m. I replied via my Yahoo email:
     Aaah, Stan...
     Thank you.
     I'd rather spend my money and time on Grey Goose vodka and Viking cruises.

At 11:15—a quarter hour later—I received a message in my Yahoo in-box touting Grey Goose vodka! Here's the link to the blog post and the story:

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2018/08/20-all-your-emails-are-being-stolen-and.html

 

Think of that! Yahoo had sold the private contents of my personal email to Bacardi/Grey Goose who immediately sent me a Grey Goose ad. The message was stupid as hell for two reasons:

 

• The jerks at Yahoo alerted me the contents of everything I write is being is being sold to outsiders all over the world.

 

• I was (and am) a Grey Goose customer who did not need an ad for Grey Goose. I was doubly pissed off—at both Yahoo and Grey Goose for their seedy duplicity.

 

Circling Back to Tim Cook's Lede to This Post

"Technology does not need vast troves of personal data stitched together across dozens of websites and apps in order to succeed. Advertising existed and thrived for decades without it. And we're here today because the path of least resistance is rarely the path of wisdom.

 

"At a moment of rampant disinformation and conspiracy theories juiced by algorithms, we can no longer turn a blind eye to a theory of technology that says all engagement is good engagement, the longer the better. And all with the goal of collecting as much data as possible."

 

Takeaways to Consider

•  What makes direct marketing elegant—the aristocrat of the advertising profession is that—when done right—results are precisely measurable.

  

• When I got into direct marketing the basic information needed before spending on prospecting or marketing to customers.
   —Name and address.
   —Can they afford to do business with you?
   —Do they pay their bills?
   —What are their interests, hobbies, professions and behavior patterns?
   —Do they respond to offers made from a distance?
 
• Whereupon you tailor and test powerful offers of specific interest to them.
 
• Snoop Marketing is emphatically NOT elegant. The seedy, venal low-life that steals your emails, history of searches, downloads, purchases, trysts, travels, travails,  browsing habits, every scintilla of dust, data and dirt by and about you, your family, your children, friends, business associates, enemies, even your pets—and put it up for sale all over the world. 
 
• "I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes."
—Phillip Dusenberry, Chairman, BBDO Worldwide 
 
If you're gonna practice Snoop Marketing, for Pete's sake have a delay system in place—say a couple of weeks at least—so your disgusting thievery isn't instantly thrown up in my face.  
 
###  
 
Word count: 2005  
 

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

#122 Blog Post Mah Jongg

 #122 Blog Post - Tuesday, March 30, 2021

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/03/122-blog-post-mah-jongg.html

Posted by: Denny Hatch

 

The Most Fun, Fascinating & Funkiest
501(c)(3) Business I Have Ever Seen!

 

  (Stick around. You might be able to use this business
model to become rich beyond the dreams of avarice!)

What triggered this post is one of Peggy's myriad hobbies—picked up during the Covid-19 lockdown—the Chinese game of Mah Jongg. Reportedly invented in the mid-18th century—with an estimated 300 million devotees worldwide—it's played with 152 tiles. Americans play under the aegis of the National Mah Jongg League. During Covid-19 Peggy plays with friends online.

From the National Mah Jongg League Website
https://www.nationalmahjonggleague.org

In 1937 a number of Mah Jongg enthusiasts met in New York City to standardize the game so that all Mah Jongg players would play the same hands and rules—it was at this meeting that the National Mah Jongg League was founded. Each year the League changes the hands and rules to add more excitement to the game.


For more than 75 years, the National Mah Jongg League has been the arbitrator for everything that relates to American Maajih. The League started with 32 members and today numbers over 350,000.


• The League publishes the American
   Version of the Rules.

• Supplies the Official Standard Hands
   and Rules Cards each year.

• Sells merchandise for playing the game
   and replacing missing playing pieces.

• Answers questions and arbitrates
   disputes about individual games.

• Makes numerous donations to
   charitable organizations. 

 

A Unique Set of Rules

Traditional games—e.g., bridge, poker, chess or backgammon—have a set of rules, values and pieces known to players all over the world. Mah Jongg is different. In order to play Mah Jongg in America, Peggy is required to purchase a $9 (small) or $10 (large) card from the National Mah Jongg League with the 2021 hands and rules. Anyone who purchases a card is automatically a member of the League.

 

The main benefit is you can play Official American Mah Jongg anywhere with any member in the USA. Without membership in the League—and the yearly card—you are outta luck. 

 

In a stroke of brilliantly intuitive direct marketing, Mah Jongg players are totally dependent on the League if they want to play the game.

Actually Nine or 10 bucks is cheap, cheep, cheap considering the many hours of pleasure and social interaction the game brings.

 

The Official 2021 Mah Jongg Card

 


The Arithmetic

The blue card pictured above contains the official 2021 hands and rules for American Mah Jongg players. The product is glossy paper card stock 5" x 18" folded into three 5" x 6" panels, printed front and back three colors over two.

 

Selling price: $10 for the large card and $9 for the small card. Let's say the average revenue per member is $9.50.

 

If 350,000 Mah Jongg players spend an average of $9.50 per year, that's a total revenue of a cool $3.325 million. Guaranteed every year. Yum, yum.

 

This blog post title calls the League "Fun, Funky and Fascinating," because I don't understand the arithmetic. Here's the lede of their Form 990 for the year ending Feb. 28, 2019. 

 

https://projects.propublica.org/nonprofits/display_990/133791092/10_2019_prefixes_13-16%2F133791092_201902_990PF_2019102416777254


 Yearly Revenue

Since the League is a private, non-profit 501(c)(3) foundation, the revenue is not from sales, but rather "contributions, gifts and grants." Two entries above are interesting.

• Look at the Last Line Above:

Contributions, gifts, grants, etc. received: $1,000,000

Golly gee, that's fascinating. First of all I have never seen an official tax form for an organization with many thousands of customers (donations) with exactly $1 million revenue! Always there are a few dollars and cents plus-or-minus. Whatever the actual amount, you can bet your sweet bippy it ain't no $1,000,000 even. Something is terribly odd.

 

Oops...

 I multiplied 350,000 members spending an average of $9.50 each and the calculator came up with $3.325 million. Yet the League claims an even-steven $1 million revenue. What happened to the other $2.325 million? Where'd it go???

 

The Rainy Day Fund

Now look at the boxes above:

Fair market value of all assets at end of year (from Part 11, col (c) line 16):

$10,476,384

In other words, in their 75+ years the League has amassed a tax free fun fund of $10.4 million walking-around money. Yum-yum.

 

"84 Years of Friendship & Charity"
Based on Creating Dependency!

The business model is truly unique. The League needs only to send out yearly reminders to players that they must purchase the coming year's card for the new rules and hands. Or else...

 

Or else they cannot play. Response has to be in the nabes of 80% - 95% (e.g., people die, move, get married/divorced and change names or they can't continue because of failing eyesight, go gaga, etc.).


However, if the League relied solely on these automatic renewals, it would be like the mythical oolum bird that flies in ever decreasing circles until if flies up its own cloaca and disappears.


The League Came Up with
An Ingenious Idea: M-G-M!

When I was running book clubs for Better Homes & Gardens, Macmillan and Grolier, we relied heavily on M-G-M—Member-Get-a-Member. A typical offer: "Introduce a new family to the Dr. Seuss books and the new member will receive two FREE Dr. Seuss books. PLUS AS A THANK-YOU GIFT, YOU WILL RECEIVE TWO FREE DR. SEUSS BOOKS FOR YOUR CHILD! 

     M-G-M was the second-most profitable marketing technique!


The National Mah Jongg League's
M-G-M Offer to Its Active Members

Sign up 35 or more new members and send us all their names at the same time and we will give your favorite charity a neat-o donation in your name. Your name and favorite charity will be listed in the League's bulletin. Here's how it looks and what is said:



 

 

 

 

 

 

             Newspapers and The Love of Fame
IMO the two greatest newspaper men in American history were: 

• William Randolph Hearst (1863-1951)
"You furnish the pictures. I'll furnish the war."

W.R. Hearst to artist Frederic Remington in Cuba, 1898

 

•  Warren G. Harding (1865-1923)*
*Yes, that Warren G. Harding who later became the 29th President of the United States and the second most corrupt occupant of the White House. (e.g. Teapot Dome Scandal.)


When he was in his 20s, Harding and a buddy bought the Marion (OH) Daily Star—a falling apart newspaper about to go out of business. The partners turned it into the largest, most profitable newspaper in the area (which it is today). Their simple publishing philosophy:

"Mention the Name of Every Person
In town at least twice a year." 

A huge majority of blokes—men, women,  LGBTs—from the bottom of rung of society to the highest reaches (e.g. Bezos, Gates, Musk, Oprah, the Kardashians et al.) adore personal publicity, their names in the papers, guest shots on The View, network and cable TV and social media.


• "Power is an aphrodisiac." —Henry Kissinger

• "Fame is an aphrodisiac." —Denny Hatch

 

Roger Craver Weighs in

 One of the savviest, smartest, funniest practitioners of Direct Marketing Sciences and Arts is America's premier Liberal fundraising impresario (Democratic candidates and groups, Habitat for Humanity et al.), co-editor of
The Agitator Blog and co-founder of  Donor Voice ("The Experience and Relationship Company.").

 

I sent Roger a work-in-progress of this post and asked him (1) if I were nuts and (2) was I liable to be sued by the National Mah Jongg League for questioning their Form 990-PF? Roger's reply (reprinted with permission):

 

Hi Denny,

As far as I can tell, these guys, while somewhat eccentric, are legit.

     I went back and looked at older tax returns (attached) and they comport, more or less with what you have. Some years they make more, some years less. My guess is that while they may claim certain number, any inaccuracies are probably not intentional

     Why do I say this? None of the officers are paid, there's no unusual expenses, and they do give away money. The IRS regulations require that a foundation give away 5% of its assets each year and the tax years I looked at show they're doing this. I did not look at the 2020 return in your draft. The charities they give to are legit.

     I've also attached a piece from the

Milwaukee Jewish News that gives a brief history of how this got started and also a copy of their current  Mah Jongg Blog. Fascinating. 

     In short, this looks to me like a legit, albeit somewhat bizarre charity. But then 'bizarre' is in the eyes of the beholder.

     Let me know if other questions.

Cheers,

Roger

 

Takeaways to Consider

• The National Mah Jongg M-G-M membership scheme is a helluva a lot cheaper that marketing with direct mail shots at say, $750/M. For starters, what lists could they rent. The League owns probably the only list of Mah Jongg players extant.

 

• The late, great direct marketing magazine circulation and merchandise consultant Dick Benson talked about the power of recruiting members v. sending out mailings.

 

• Benson's Rule: "If you can turn your subscription-based magazine into a membership organization, you raise response rates by 15%."

 

Can you Use the NMJL Business Model to Get Filthy Rich Tax-Free?

If the National Mah Jongg League can pull in an automatic $3.325 million a year from a membership of 350,000 game players, think of what you could do with 3 billion game players!!! Tax Free!!! 

 


 
Good hunting!
 
###
 
Word count: 1563