#115 Teaser Copy for Emails

 

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/12/115-teaser-copy-for-emails.html

 

#115 Blog Post – Tuesday, December 1, 2020

 

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

Dramatically Boost Your Email Open Rates:

No “Subject Lines.” Think “Teaser Copy!”

 

An Invitation:  At the end of this post, you are invited to steal from a collection of 169 winning envelope teasers that could well work wonders when adapted for email subject lines.

                About Envelope Teaser Copy
You are looking at eight teasers from direct mail envelopes. Attention grabbers. Mini-headlines that pique curiosity. Intriguing.

 

Not just any teasers.

 

These are from the WHO’S MAILING WHAT! Archive of 1,639 Grand Control mailings—direct mail packages that were received over three or more consecutive years. Some of the mailings in my Archive were tracked over five, 10, 15 or more consecutive years.

 

These mailings were raging successes, all of them bringing in millions of dollars in revenue.

 

Let Me Share With You a Story…

In 1993—the year Peggy and I were hired to save Target Marketing magazine—I got a call from the lawyers at Rodale Press looking for an expert witness. It seems this bastion of good health and human decency was being sued by a very pissed-off photographer for theft of copyright. Rodale had used a photograph in a direct mail package without paying for it. The plaintiff was not only suing for the use fee; he wanted recompense for the entire cost of the mailing (including postage) plus the entire profits of the book.

         It was a tiny picture—four b&w shots of a skinny, naked old man—that appeared deep in the brochure. (The case was settled out of court. It seems Rodale paid the use fee for the test and simply dropped the ball by forgetting to pay the use fee for the huge rollout.)

         Rodale’s request of me: figure out what percentage of the entire mailing did this little photo represent so Rodale could offer him a reasonable settlement.

         As the world’s (then) foremost expert on junk mail, I had to come up with relative percentages of importance of the various elements: envelope, letter, brochure, lift pieces, order mechanism and reply envelope.

 

   The Outer Envelope: 100% Importance

I sat down and immediately realized that the envelope—when it arrives in the mail—represents 100% of the value of the mailing. If the envelope is not opened and immediately trashed, the percentage value of the other elements—letter, circular, lift pieces, freemiums and other goodies—is moot.

 

When Peggy and I started WHO’S MAILING WHAT! in 1984, direct mail was the aristocrat of advertising. More money was spent on direct mail than on TV, radio, space ads, telemarketing, point-of-purchase, product placement and sky writing combined!

 

What’s more, direct mail was (and is) expensive a hell. Paper, printing, inserting, sorting/prioritizing and—most costly of all—postage! Today the average direct mail package can run 75¢ to a buck apiece.

 

Copywriters, designers, copy chiefs, account supervisors and clients spend hours on the envelope design and teaser copy to get them just right. Because if the envelope does not get opened, the mailer loses a ton of money—the massive costs of the mailing PLUS the projected revenue and profit.

 

Same Thing with Email: Your “From Line” 
And “Subject Line” Must Overpower the Inbox!

 

Think about it. When an email arrives in the in-box, the writer has just two elements to generate a click-to-open:

 

• “From” Line
Is the sender recognizable? If your best friend is Linda Jones, her name in the From Line will result in an immediate click-to-open.

     If it's from Mutual of Omaha, the odds of a positive response are severely diminished.

     With the From Line, you have max maybe 25 characters of type with spaces to make a positive, clickable impression.

 

• “Subject” Line
Is your Subject Line as powerful as the teaser below. It would be even more powerful today in this cash-strapped epoch rife with Covid-19 worries, high unemployment and two-mile-long lines at food banks:

 

When the legendary Herschell Gordon Lewis wrote and designed this mailing, he used a #10 envelope with oodles of space to grab the CSP (Cash-Strapped-Prospect) by the collar and pound this stupendous offer home.

 

Notice the blank upper left corner. No sender’s name and address to distract from the overpowering message below.

 

Quite simply Herschell reasoned the ADVANCED FINANCIAL SERVICES logo and address in the upper left corner (cornercard) would (1) distract from the powerful offer ("Who the hell are these people?") and (2) might even be an instant deal killer.

 

Here’s How Herschell’s Offer Would Look in Email Today
(See item #3 below)

 

CONGRATULATIONS! Your valuable home equity makes you eligible for up to $100,000 Cash! 

 

This teaser copy by Herschell Gordon Lewis is 85 characters (with spaces) and is the outer length for the size of a subject line in an email inbox.

 

In comparison with the other three subject lines, this one (in my opinion) stands out.

 

Takeaways to Consider

• About direct mail, Herschell Gordon Lewis wrote: “The outer envelope has two purposes: (1) to get itself opened and (2) keep the contents from spilling onto the street.”

 

• With email, the From Line and Subject Line have just one purpose: to get clicked-on.

 

• The email inbox does not allow for illustrations, design, varying type faces and envelope sizes—all the direct mail bells and whistles that make your offer stand out, generate excitement and create desire to see what’s inside.

 

• In short, a full email inbox is lines and lines of boring little black words. Your message looks like all the other messages.

 

• FORGET THE TERM “SUBJECT LINE!” Wipe it out of your mind. This is cold academic jargon dreamed up by some dreary dweeb with an MBA who first wrote about the Internet in terms of business and personal correspondence only.

 

• THINK “TEASER COPY.”

 

• FORGET THE TERM “PREHEADER TEXT.”
   THINK “JOHNSON BOX.

With direct mail, the preheader text is equivalent to the headline of the letter. The great copywriter Frank Johnson—a lovely gent—formalized the use of headlines on typed sales letters such as this one:

 

• The five-line paragraph centered over the salutation is known as the “Johnson Box.”

 

• The dumbest thing the writer of emails can do is spend hours perfecting the message and then bang out the first “subject line” that comes to mind and click SEND.

 

• I spend ample time getting my Teaser Copy just right. It represents 100% of the effectiveness of my email. (If the recipient doesn't click on it, all my work is deader than Kelsey's nuts.)

 

• Before I send out an important email, I send a test email to myself.

 

• And then go to lunch. After the time lapse of a lunch break, I will see it in a fresh light.

 

• When I open it on my desktop/iPad/smartphone, I analyze how it compares with all the other email Teasers above and below.

 

• Does it stand out from the others. Is it exciting? Does it grab you by the throat?

 

• If not, I go back to the drawing boards.

 

• I rework and retest over and over again until I'm absolutely satisfied it is the very best I can do.

 

• Remember this: testing teaser copy in email is a helluva lot cheaper than testing it in horrendously expensive direct mail. Email is damn near free compared to mail. 

 

• If you find winning teaser copy in email, test it on your direct mail. 

 

About the 169 Email Teasers That Follow:

As I mentioned early in this post, we have scads of scans of—1,639 Grand Controls in 127 categories—direct mailings that were received a minimum of three consecutive years. These are colossal winners that generated millions of dollars in revenue.

     For this exercise, I looked at 561 envelopes and picked Teasers from 169 that I felt could be adapted for email teasers. 

     The categories I chose from: consumer and business magazines, newspapers, newsletters, books and collectibles. Waiting to be looked at: Travel, Insurance, Baby & Child Oriented, Fundraising, Financial Services, Investments, Misc. Merchandise, Legal and Medical Services, Home Study Courses and a bunch more.

     If you find this exercise useful, give a shout and I’ll schedule more for an upcoming post.

     You can reach me at: dennyhatch@yahoo.com or 215-644-9626.

     Thank you.

 

YOU ARE INVITED TO STEAL…
From the following collection of 169 guaranteed winning subject lines that might work well when adapted as Email teasers.
Every one of these was on the envelope of a Grand Control mailing that was received over three or more consecutive years (some over 5 and 10 years or more.)

 

Your table is ready.

Utne Reader

 

[John] Which Products Would You Choose?

Consumer Reports

 

4 FREE GIFTS just for telling us what you think.

Harlequin Books  

 

Build your body with your brain.

Men’s Health

 

You can defy the diseases of aging!

The Tufts Heart – Brain Diet Report

 

We’d like to send you this valuable FREE BOOK!

Webster’s Unified

 

Claim a FREE GIFT PACKAGE!

Wildlife Explorer Program

 

Add an hour of productivity to your day GUARANTEED

Planner Pads Co.

 

Spend a minute. Save an Hour.

Day-Timers

 

PROTECT YOUR RETIREMENT DREAMS

Consumer Reports

 

NATURAL HEALING SECRETS DOCTORS DON’T TELL YOU!

Parker Publishing

 

Keep your hands warm in winter without gloves

Restore colors to faded fabric

Yankee Magazine

 

Instant burglarproofing for pennies

Yankee Magazine

 

The champion cancer-FIGHTING foods on earth!

University of California

 

TEST FLIGHT! Explore the magic of flight, the mystery of space, as you’ve never seen them before!

AIR & SPACE

 

Inside: An exclusive offer from Smithsonian.

Smithsonian Institution

 

Please don’t tell your friends we have a special offer

Book-of-the-Month

 

Your Charter Member Privileges and any FREE kitchen products given to you by the club are for your EXCLUSIVE use.

Cooking Club of America

 

Save Hundreds of Dollars As you MAKE things instead of Buying them

Crafts & Things

 

Choose a FREE GIFT with membership

Literary Guild

 

Make next Christmas your brightest ever!

Danbury Mint

 

MONITOR the world for FREE!

Christian Science Monitor

 

FREE To a Good Home

Harrowsmith

 

Is your name on this free gift list?

U.S. News

 

Gift Certificate Enclosed with Our Compliments

People Magazine

 

Free Issue of Herb Quarterly reserved in your name.

Herb Quarterly

 

2 Years Free of WOOD Magazine reserved for [John Smith]

Wood Magazine

 

RISK-FREE ISSUE OFFER FOR [JOHN SMITH]

Grit

 

PERSONAL & CONFIDENTIAL

Vegetarian Times

 

FOR [PAUL] REPLY BY 12/29/20

Reminisce

 

[Paul] CONGRATULATIONS! June issue FREE.

Taste of Home

 

SPEND $10 NOW, SAVE HUNDREDS THIS YEAR!

Mother Earth News

 

Congratulations! You have been selected to receive…

Coastal Living

 

Free Gifts: Yoga Breathing Chart. Yoga Remedies Guide

Yoga

 

Voucher plus important travel tips enclosed.

Frommer’s Budget Travel

 

Forget everything you think you know about arthritis

Arthritis Management

 

Arthritis: Get the Answers and a Free Issue

Arthritis Management

 

FREE YEAR reserved for you

Shambhala Sun

 

FREE YEAR of real kitchen-sink wisdom…

Shambhala Sun

 

“Aha! So that’s how it’s done!”

Artist’s Magazine

 

NATIONAL OPINION SURVEY. Please do us a favor…

Ireland of the Welcomes

 

FAIR WARNING: There’s Heresy Inside

National Review

 

Congratulations!  You have been selected for FREE memberships…

Smithsonian Institution

 

WHICH FREE GIFT COULD YOU GET?

History Channel Club

 

Take a Stroll Back to THE GOOD OLD DAYS!

Good Old Days Magazine

 

NO APOLOGIES! Introducing a new magazine that refuses…

Radar Magazine

 

NATIONAL HEALTH SURVEY. Please do us a favor…

Diabetic Cooking

 

FREE ISSUE! FREE GIFT!

Architectural Digest

 

Free Sample Issue and Free Gift reserved in your name.

Architectural Digest

 

Because of your involvement in art, a free issue of…

Art in America

 

Click Here FOR YOUR FREE WINDBREAKER

National Audubon Society

 

INVITATION. The favor or a reply is requested of Mr. Jones

AutoWeek

 

4 FREE ISSUES

Aviation Week

 

CONGRATULATIONS! You may have already won our Sweepstakes

Aviation Safety

 

YOUR MEMBERSHIP HAS BEEN APPROVED. FREE GIFT INSIDE!

Cooking Club of America

 

FREE! Offer Expires 2/26/2021

Columbia Journalism Review

 

Receive the Next Available Issue FREE!

Columbia Journalism Review

 

Inside: An Invitation to a privileged few

Connoisseur Magazine

 

Congratulations. You are entitled to receive two FREE review issues….

Cooking Light

 

FREE ISSUE! The world’s most widely read dog magazine

Dog Fancy

 

ONE YEAR ABSOLUTELY FREE! (Details inside)

Equus

 

INVITATION TO EARTHWATCH Got some free time? A week? A month? A summer?

Earthwatch

 

Congratulations! You’ve been selected to receive 3 risk free issues

ESPN

 

You’re invited to preview America’s most beautiful magazine for the avid gardener.

Fine Gardening

 

Should you be reading “the most influential periodical in print?” (You can try it now – at just half the regular price – with your satisfaction guaranteed!)

Foreign Affairs

 

OPEN IMMEDIATELY! Win a Free Callaway Golf Club!

Golf Magazine

 

Would the mainstream media – or any other media- ever tell you…

Free Inquiry

 

Forecasts for the next 25 years

The Futurist

 

The Magazine for Creative Minds at Play FREE!

Games

 

[Margaret Jones], a TRIAL issue has been reserved especially for you…

Garden Design

 

Your invitation to accept two free issues… and a scenic calendar

Guideposts

 

[John Jones], Your membership has been APPROVED!

Handyman Club of America

 

Inside: How the Pentagon hides $22 billion. How the CIA subverts

Harper’s’

 

A Jewish magazine that’s beautiful, fearless and fun!!

Moment

 

How to plan the perfect vacation in 2021…

National Geographic

 

R.S.V.P. Free Gift from OUTSIDE. Details inside!

Outside

 

DOUBLE FREE OFFER!

Outside

 

INSIDE: FREE 14 vital contacts for your writing career.

Poets & Writers

 

FREE GIFT FOR THE ELECTRONICS ACTIVIST – see inside –

Popular Electronics

 

SWEEPS SPECTACULAR 2 plus second chance to win

Popular Photography

 

Mr. [John Jones], Please tell us what color you’d like for your FREE CORVETTE

Premiere

 

Drop 15-50 Pounds EASILY! The Secret? “Cancel Out” Excess Calories…

Prevention

 

WHO OWNS YOU? Do you own your future – or do THEY?

Reason

 

What makes the good life great… Exclusive Invitation/RSVP

Robb Report

 

GET ROLLING STONE 4 FREE!

Rolling Stone

 

Special Anniversary Privileges – 60% off – Money-Back Guarantee

SAIL Magazine

 

FREE ISSUE – TWO FREE GIFTS

Saveur

 

Will you accept a sample issue?

Scientific American

 

Professional Courtesy Discount

Science News

 

Attention [John Jones], 2022 Airline Travel Questionnaire.

Skyguide

 

Just say… YES to embark on a once-in-a-lifetime adventure

Soviet Life Magazine

 

If you’ve got the guts to admit “doing all right” just isn’t good enough…

Success

 

SENSE ELEGANCE Your adventure to elegance and savings is inside

Town & Country

 

Inside the minds of the world’s smartest travelers.

Travel & Leisure

 

FREE ISSUE plus a FREE WALL MAP

World Press Review

 

Enter a world where life is simpler, healthier and much more playful.

MaryJanesFarm

 

8 nutrition mistakes everybody makes. 6 was to keep sex sexy. 3 great….

Self

 

Announcing… a legacy of loveliness that’ yours to claim NOW!

Victoria

 

Dear Pat Jones, You qualify to receive one free year of America’s finest men’s magazine plus…

GQ

 

For every guy who never gets enough… Get yours FREE!

Stuff

 

Professional Discount Offer Inside

Advertising Age

 

A Special Invitation from MIT. RSVE by February 2, 2021

Technology Review

 

Four weeks of Free Business Intelligence have been reserved for [John Jones]

BusinessWeek

 

FREE OFFER! Sample 4 issues. Free Web Edition. Our Gift: Pocket World in Figures

The Economist

 

HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH? Enough, we suspect, to introduce you to an unusual…

Financial World

 

HOW “ORDINARY” PEOPLE ACCUMULATE EXTAORDINARY WEALTH!

Kiplinger’s

 

Deals. Demographics. Research. Ratings. Opportunities. Every week…

Mediaweek

 

SEVEN FREE ISSUES

New York

 

National Opinion Survey Enclosed. “FREE Gift Offer Inside”

Daily Word

 

The health information you require is enclosed

Johns Hopkins Medicine

 

ENCLOSED: Your 1^st of 3 FREE Gifts!

Tufts University Catnip

 

Many women take this harmless-looking capsule. Don’t be one of them!

Harvard Medical School

 

Side Effects of Popular Prescription and Over-the-Counter Medications

Worst Pills, Best Pills News

 

WHY DO SOME MEN…  (Open and be surprised!)

Harvard Medical School

 

WHAT NEVER TO SAY TO YOUR STAFF

Briefings

 

THINK LIKE YOUR DOG. Now our nation’s top dog docs would like…

DogWatch

 

The Greatest Medicines of Our Time. NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE

Health Sciences Institute

 

What never… ever to eat on an airplane!

Bottom Line

 

For People Who Regard Surgery as a “Last Resort!”

Cleveland Clinic Arthritis Advisor

 

A Special “Treat” for you… An Even Bigger Treat for you Dog!

The Whole Dog Journal

 

4 Free Johns Hopkins Special Reports Especially for [John Jones]

Johns Hopkins Medicine

 

THE 7 DEADLY “MYTHS” OF HEART DISEASE PLUS… the strange symptoms…

Heart Advisor

 

May I send it to you today, FREE OF CHARGE?

Cleveland Clinic

 

Health Alert: 33 common drugs that can trigger seizures…

Healthy Years

 

Should you risk your health on advice intended for 30-year-olds?

Bruce Ferrell, MD, UCLA

 

WHY DOES MY CAT DO THAT? When your cat goes a little “crazy”…

Cat Watch

 

“Loss of memory does not have to be a part of aging!”

Massachusetts General Hospital

 

CAN YOUR OWN STEM CELLS SAVE YOUR LIFE? Stunning news…

HealthNews

 

Which of these 7 medical problems have NEW cures, NEW drugs, NEW treatments…

DukeMedicine Health News

 

CONGRATULATIONS! Yom may have already won our sweepstakes Grand Prize.

Aviation Safety

 

Consumer Information ALERT

Bottom Line

 

The Little Black Book of Secrets. 5 Signs of a Good Stock.

Bottom Line Personal

 

b Signs of a Good Stock

Bottom Line Personal

 

Why Married Women Have Affairs.

Bottom Line Personal

 

5 Common Etiquette Mistakes even polite people make

Bottom Line Personal

 

How to save your life if you walk in on a burglary

Bottom Line Personal

 

The one food you pet cat MUST have

Bottom Line Personal

 

Bills it’s okay to pay late…

Bottom Line Personal

 

Supermarkets: Shocking new ripoffs

Bottom Line Personal

 

How to buy a house with no down payment…

Bottom Line Personal

 

How to Slash your property taxes…

Bottom Line Personal

 

YOUR ISSUE ENCLOSED…

Communication Briefings

 

Take this quick Health Test: Answers inside. Plus…

Consumer Reports OnHealth

 

Finally, a newsletter written just for the parents of girls. Free Trial offer.

Daughters

 

Why are vitamin tables better than gelcaps?

Dr. Andrew Weil

 

Do you make these mistakes at business Meetings?

 The Executive Advantage

 

WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED TO DISCOVER ONE KIND OF COFFEE may be worse for the heart

Harvard Medical School

 

What’s healthy for him could be harmful to you

Harvard Women’s Health Watch

 

RETIRE OVERSEAS! INSIDE: Details on overseas paradises where you can enjoy…

International Living

 

Outstanding Opportunities for Profit in Florida… Will YOU be prepared?

Kiplinger Florida Letter

 

With our compliments… a free trial issue of America’s most trustworthy personal health letter

Mayo Clinic Health Letter

 

Proven marketing ideas to grow your business

Marketing Report

 

Healthy Eating Poster Enclosed!

University of California, Berkeley

 

10 pairs of DRUGS that can injure or KILL you

Worst Pills Best Pills

 

We hold Mr. [John Jones] in high esteem.

Christian Science Monitor

 

A Free Subscription PLUS 2 FREE GIFTS. See Inside!

Investor’s Business Daily

 

YOURS! House & Home, Dining, The Arts and the new Weekend Escapes section!

The New York Times

 

THE TOP TEN REASONS TO READ THIS MESSAGE: 10. Your name will be synonymous…

Clement Communications

 

FIRST ISSUE ENCLOSED

Kiplinger’s Retirement Report

 

Send for the current issue ABSOLUTELY FREE

Consumer Reports

 

The Dick Davis Digest: READ IT AND MAKE MONEY!

Dick Davis Digest

 

Mr. [John Jones] only, please.

Louis Rukeyser’s Wall Street

 

CHARTER INVITATION. Private. About your portfolio.

Louis Rukeyser’s Wall Street

 

YES, IRS LOOPHOLES ARE BACK! Special Report: “Get the Most Mileage from…”

Tax Savings Report

 

IMPORTANT TAX INFORMATION ENCLOSED. Please inspect carefully.

Bottom Line Publications

 

The most trusted name in investment research. Make more money faster; with far less risk…

Value Line

 

From 1999 through June 2003, Value Line’s #1 ranked stocks gained

45.6%.

Value Line

 

What Have We Done for Investors Lately? Beaten the Dow AND the S&P 500. That’s What! 

Value Line

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Word Count: 3221

 You Are Invited to Meet Denny Hatch: http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/03/87-geezer-fast-yoga.html

At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press. He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 years he has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.

CONTACT
dennyhatch@yahoo.com

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Invitation to Marketers and Direct Marketers: 
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If you have a marketing story to tell, case history, concept to propose or a memoir, give a shout. I’ll get right back to you. I am: dennyhatch@yahoo.com
215-644-9526 (rings on my desk).

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