#186 Abortion Pill Melee

 

#186 Blogpost  - Wednesday, 19 April 2023

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2023/04/186-abortion-pill-melee.html

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

How Direct Marketers Can

Solve the Abortion Pill Melee

 

The Chateau Lafite Solution… and Omertà! 

 

On January 16, 1919, America went nuts. Prohibition!

 

On that date the 18^th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution was ratified. As of January 17, 1920, it was illegal to buy a bottle of wine… or bourbon… or home distilled rotgut... or beer or anything else to drink containing more than ½ of one percent alcohol.

 

Americans were not about to give up wines, spirits and beer back then any more than they will cease making babies (on purpose or in error) these days.

 

In the 1920s it did not take long for the underworld (a.k.a. the Mob/Mafia) to figure out the mechanics of satisfying consumers’ thirst all over the country while making themselves tons of money.

Example: The family fortune of Joseph P. Kennedy (father of President John F. Kennedy) originated in bootlegging. In 1935 Kennedy's net worth was $180 million, the equivalent of $33.5 billion in 2023). President Jack Kennedy's net worth was $260 million ($25.6 billion in 2023).

Back then quenching America's thirst was complicated as hell — gangs of goons in fast cars, trucks and speedboats secretly keeping restaurants, speakeasies and private homes continually supplied with cumbersome cases of banned bottles of booze and wines — as well as clunky kegs of beer — seven days a week.

 

In This New Prohibition Era (of Abortion)
Direct Marketers Can Replace Mafia Goons

Today the challenge is much simpler — getting teensy pills into the medicine cabinets of millions of oh-so-terrified American families.

 

Think of it! In this marvelous age of miniaturization we can equate an abortion pill in 2023 to clunky cases of wine or booze or kegs of beer way back in 1923.

 

An Aside: About the Modern Abortion Pill

For centuries a safe, successful abortion required trained personnel, sterilized implements and real estate — a mini operatory, doctor’s office or back bedroom.  

 

Enter Mifepristone — tiny pills that can achieve in two seconds the same result as a ham-handed human abortionist. These tablets are a lot easier to distribute unobtrusively than cases of Lafite, Jack Daniels or kegs of beer.

 

Before Anything: Do these Pills Work?  Are They Safe?

The answer is yes and yes.

“Mifepristone is the first of two medications used in a medication abortion (also known as the “abortion pill”). Mifepristone has been safe and legal in the United States since the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the brand name Mifeprex nearly 20 years ago. On 28 September 2000 the FDA approved the first generic form of mifepristone, following a review of the evidence that medication abortion is a safe, effective way to end an early pregnancy — with a safety record of over 99%.”—Planned Parenthood

Safety: Mifepristone vs. Penicillin vs. Viagra
(20 years of Statistics)
Mifepristone: 5 deaths per million users
Penicillin: 20 deaths per million users.
Viagra: 48 deaths per million users.
—U.S. Food and Drug Administration

How the Lafite Solution Would Work
As a die-hard direct marketer, I would set up a bunch of small offshore catalog companies offering merchandise. Oh, maybe sports clothes, jewelry, cosmetics, scented candles, cookies and candies à la The Vermont Country Store kinds of innocuous products. The wee Mifepristone pills could be hidden in a slightly lumpy #10 or 6"x9" First Class envelope or disguised in the wrapping paper of myriad unobtrusive small packages amidst the crap merchandise.

The Feds couldn't possibly (and wouldn't dare) open and inspect every slightly lumpy envelope or package shipped by the USPS, UPS and FedEx.

 

Welcome to the Modern Mob!

 

A votre santé!

 

And… Don't forget Omertà! (The legendary Mafia code of absolute silence made famous by Mario Puzo in The Godfather.)

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