Tuesday, August 25, 2020

#106 Truly Terrible Packaging (and How to Fix It)

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/08/106-truly-terrible-packaging-and-how-to.html

#106 Blog Post — Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Posted by Denny Hatch 

 

A Textbook Case of Truly Terrible Packaging!

 (And How to Fix It) 

When Covid-19 hit, the powerful message shouted over-and-over by scientists and experts was these 3 stark warnings:

1. Always wear a face mask when you leave home.

2. If you don't wear a face mask, you could inadvertently kill people. 

3. Close contact with persons not wearing a face mask could kill you… and kill members of your family.

After trying myriad face masks—from face-pinching little n95s to gifts from friends sewn from warn-out polo shirts—Peggy finally ordered the above box of disposables. She chose well.

Terrific Masks!  Alas, you’d Never Know It from the Box They Came in.

• The picture of the mask is a strange faded water-color-like drawing.

• All the features and benefits are in unreadable 4-point mouse type.

• Other copy is in teeny-tiny white type reversed out on light blue backgrounds.

• The contents of the box are described as a big “50” in faded urine yellow.

• 50 what? 50 Pcs. What is Pc?

• How many pcs to a mask? If 2 pcs, that’s 25 masks. Yes? Huh?

Okay. I Redesigned the Box Top. Not Elegant—But... With Everything Needed to Help Make an Informed Decision.

• Crisp photo of the Mask. You know exactly what it looks like.

• All features and benefits are easy-to-read—10-poinrt or 12-point type.

• “50 Masks” in big black readable type. (Not “50 Pcs”)

• I added one short line of “selling” copy:  

Heavy Duty, Wonderfully Light Weight.

Another Example of Lousy Packaging—Vinyl Gloves 

I bought this box of vinyl gloves from the little store across the square. I wear them when I grocery shop.

Look at the benefits and features above left in teeny-tiny white type on a light green background. Impossible to read! Translation:

          VIN103PF

          100 Vinyl Gloves

          100 Guantes Vinilo

          Non-Sterile / Powder Free

          Not Made With Natural Rubber Latex

In white mouse-type on the bottom of the box I discovered where this product came from: Made in China.

These disposable gloves are perfectly okay. But why rely on Asian designers that don’t know any better… who go for “pretty” rather than supplying critical, easy-to-read, helpful information?

This is nuts! 

Takeaways to Consider

• Product packaging has two purposes:

  1. To keep the elements from spilling onto the store floor.
  2. To include all the information needed to make an informed buying decision without seeing the actual product.

• A good, sharp photograph of the product is essential.

• Features and benefits should be in large, bold easy-to-read type.

• Package designers should make sure when the photo of the box is reduced in size for use in an ad—or featured in a catalog—the main benefits are still readable.

• Ideas for the sides and bottom of the box:

—Testimonials from happy customers.

—Ratings/reviews from experts and rating services.

—Guarantee of Satisfaction signed by the company president.

“Short words! Short sentences! Short paragraphs! —Andrew J. Byrne

“Type smaller than 9-point is difficult for most people to read.” —David Ogilvy

“Never set your copy in white type on a black background and never set it over a gray or colored tint. The old school of art directors believed that these devices forced people to read the copy; we now know that they make reading physically impossible.” —David Ogilvy

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Word count: 533

 

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

#105 Amazon and My Eyeglasses Problem

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/08/105-amazon-and-my-eyeglasses-problem.html

  

#105 Blog Post - Tuesday, August 18, 2020

   Posted by Denny Hatch

 The Day I Refused to Look Dorky!

My Eyeglasses Problem

All my life — with 20/400 vision plus astigmatism— I have worn glasses. After two years of hard use, the earpieces get a bit bent outta shape (as do I). Add to the problem Covid-19 masks with straps that go over the ears. There ain't a lot of room between my ears for eyeglasses plus mask ear straps.

When I inadvertently bend down, my glasses fall off—often onto the sidewalk. Result: lens scratched.

Finally, I went to Amazon to solve the problem. Amazon did not make it easy... 

How Amazon Screwed Up and Cried "Uncle!"

 In 70 years of ordering stuff over distance I have never received a letter like the above.

Read between the lines and it appears Amazon got a ton of returns and went looking for a clue as to what went haywire.

I had bought the product. I really like it.

Here's the story from an insider (actual buyer) about a serious worldwide marketing pandemic—along with Takeaways all direct marketers should have hardwired into our DNA. 

The marketing pandemic: sending out products to customers and including instructions written and designed by amateurs that leave us crazed and feeling totally inadequate.

The Ad I Responded to on Amazon

Note the eyeglasses and attachment in the upper center. No flashy ribbons. No strings. It looked like an unobtrusive little attachment at the back that would keep my loosey-goosey frames from slipping off.
 
I clicked on BUY NOW and forgot about the order.
A few days later the order arrived. A teeny-tiny package encased in a big Amazon Prime bubble pack. Here is what was enclosed:
 
 
Four tiny gummy black 1-1/2" doo-hickeys.
I have no idea what they are. 
 
 


 

 

Two 10" stringy wiry thingies.







 A tiny soft cloth. Lens cleaner? No mention of what it is anywhere.

 

I had forgotten what this thing I ordered looked like and had no idea how to put it together.

Eureka! I found instructions! Alas, on a wee 2-1/2" x 4-1/2" slip of paper.

INSTRUCTIONS: FRONT

 

INSTRUCTIONS: BACK

 (Throughout these instructions all type is 4—point and totally unreadable)

Translation of the above line of copy:
(Throughout these instructions all type is 4-point and totally unreadable)

I turned 85 this past Saturday. With my crappy eyesight, 4-point type is pointless.

"Type smaller than 9-point is difficult for most people to read." —David Ogilvy

I fumbled around and figured out how to make this work. Here's the result.

 • When I bend over, my glasses don't fall off!

• I am bald. We live on the 30th floor overlooking the Delaware River. I have always envied men and women who could push their eyeglasses up onto their heads and thick hair would secure them. This gadget allows me to prop glasses onto the top of my head, so I can use binoculars to look at ships on the river!

Takeaways to Consider

• It's fashionable for today's email techies to dismiss us old direct mail geezers who came up with the direct marketing rules that go back 800 years.

• "The Internet is a new medium," the hotshots sneer at us. "It's a new paradigm. The old rules do not apply. We make the rules now. So, buzz off."

• Ah, but here's the rub. When merchandise is sold digitally via email or the Internet, how is it sent to the customer? By snail mail or Express Mail or UPS or FedEx.

• Suddenly the process reverts back to its primitive roots and the old proven rules apply. Experienced old-timers' know-how matters.

"The sale begins when the customer says yes." —Bill Christensen, Freelancer

• There is always a lag time between order and delivery—a couple of days (Amazon) or longer (everybody else). During that time a lot goes on in a person's life. Covid-19. The dog dies. A kid breaks a leg. Chances are amid the mayhem of the day the customer may not remember what was ordered or why.

• "We spend as much time on every step of the fulfillment process—the packaging, copy and design—as we did on the original solicitation. —Malcolm Decker

• Consumers want instant gratification. When a shipment arrives, we want it to work immediately: try it on to see if it fits, read it, plug it in and use it, taste it, play with it.

• Always include welcome material including a warm, enthusiastic letter signed by a real person with a real signature.

"When the product arrives, make sure it is accompanied by instructions so clear that an idiot can understand them." —Don Jackson

• If the assembly process is not easy, include the link to a YouTube video that shows what to do. 

• Offer a chat feature, URL or 800-number to call if there are any questions or problems.

• If it doesn't perform as promised—or we can't figure out how it works—back it goes for a refund. A monetary loss and pissed-off customer.

• Make sure these communications from the customer go direct to a polished telephone rep or chat expert who knows the product and has immediate answers.

• Keep a record of all problems and if the same situation pops up multiple times, deal with it right away for future fulfillment efforts.

• These folks handling the back end of the sale are every bit as important and those who generated the original order.

 • In short, your back-end marketing must be as good as your front-end marketing or you don't have a business.

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Word Count:906

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

#104 DRTV Checklist

#104 Blog Post - Tuesday, August 11, 2020


Posted by Denny Hatch

Direct Response TV: Denny's
12-Point Checklist

Five years ago, we downsized to a two-bedroom apartment in a Philadelphia center city high-rise with a postage-stamp balcony. It's our only residence.

Obviously I have zero need for a marvelous new, incredibly sturdy, ultra-lite 50' garden hose.

However, I was dazzled by a magnificent two-minute textbook correct TV spot for the BionicFlexPro hose.

Quite simply, I loved it!

My memory was jogged back to our gardening days when I did fierce combat with heavy rubber hoses that behaved just a badly as those shown in this great TV spot.

If BionicFlexPro were available in our burbs life 30 years ago, I would have ordered it in a heartbeat.

On TV or in Digital Marketing, the Product Comes Roaring Alive!
Direct Mail, Space (off-the-page) advertising and telephone Marketing are static media. You cannot see the object of sale in action. Rather we have to rely on headlines, text, still photos, graphs, drawings or a disembodied voice on the other end of the phone to make a sale. 
 
Only TV and digital marketing can deliver walloping visual impact.

For example, the BionicFlexPro versus clunky old rubber garden hoses is brilliantly contrasted at the outset: problem, Problem, PROBLEM... SALVATION! Aggravating scenes are followed by the wonders and delights of the easy-to-use, lightweight non-kinking BionicFlexPro!

My Weekly Phone Call from Readers
As editor and publisher of WHO'S MAILING WHAT! and Target Marketing magazine, I would routinely get one or two calls a week from readers with this question: "I have a great idea for a product to sell by direct mail or maybe on TV. How do I get started?"

"What else do you have to sell?" was my immediate reply.

"Huh? What do you mean? I don't have anything else to sell."

"Then stay away from direct marketing."

"But why? Don't you want to hear about my product idea?"

"When you rent outside lists or buy TV air time to sell a product, you are spending money to acquire customers as well as selling something. If you want to make money in this business, you must have additional products or services to sell to those customers you have bought and paid dearly for. It costs six- to seven times more to acquire a new customer than sell to an existing one. In short, you need a business."

"But don't you want to hear about my product?"

"My advice to you is to look into testing small space ads. Or retail, or QVC or Amazon or catalogs.

NOTE: To see how Lillian Vernon and John Peterman launched multi-million-dollar businesses with a single product, check out my Blog Post #3:
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2018/04/3-secrets-of-ad-placement-go-where-your.html

 Denny's 11-Point Checklist
 
1. Is Direct Response TV a Good Medium to Test?
In the case of the BionicFlexPro hose, TV is a natural. TV reaches 95.9% of the 115.9 million housing units in the U.S. One out of three raise food and a watering mechanism is needed. Most have at least a few flower beds to water.
"It may seem obvious, but number one is your product selection. Your product should solve an immediate problem. It should appeal to the greatest number of people possible. It should be easily demonstrable." —Steve Dworman
Does your product (1) solve an immediate problem? (2) It is easily demonstrable? (3) Does it appeal to huge swath of consumers (or businesses?)  Or are you looking for a niche market?
 
2. Steal Smart!
• At a Direct Mail Writers Guild luncheon in 1982, the speaker was Dorothy Kerr, circulation director of U.S. News & World Report. "If you want to be successful in direct mail," Kerr said, "watch your mail. see who's mailing what. Track those mailings that come in over and over again... then steal smart!"
• Type the following into Google or Bing:
                "tv direct response advertising samples"
• See what others are doing—big corporations down to individual consultants and entrepreneurs. See what direct response agencies are touting as their best work. (They won't show you any losers!) Download those efforts that excite you and save them to a private archive of samples.
• Likewise, if you see a direct response commercial on TV that you like, type the name of the company or product into Google or Bing. You will be directed to the website and the latest TV commercial which you can download and study.
• Peggy and I launched the newsletter and archive service, WHO'S MAILING WHAT! after three years of collecting, analyzing and cataloging direct mail samples.
Before you commit to direct response TV, become an expert by creating a private archive of TV direct response commercials and infomercials.
 
3. Examples of what to Look for.
• Is the sales story totally voice-over (à la BionicFelxPro)? Or are on-camera pitchmen used such as Billy May or Ron Popeil?
• Are testimonials delivered by happy customers included?
Especially pay close attention to how the ordering process is handled.
 
4. Brainstorm!
• "What is the most dramatic, startling, convincing way to demonstrate your product or service? Your TV spot needs to accomplish two distinct and sometimes contradictory objectives: First to sell your product; second to be spellbinding, entertaining and capture attention of people who are channel surfing." 
—Steve Dworman
• "Your job is to sell, not entertain." —Jack Maxson
Do you have a world-class specialist or agency in Direct Response TV commercials to conceptualize and produce your TV spot?
 
 5. Buying Airtime.
• Do nor place your own ads.
• Hire a top media buyer who works with direct response TV advertisers. You will cash in on many years experience of someone who knows what was advertised at what prices, what offers worked and what bombed. More important, media buyers know how to buy advertising airtime at discounted prices. As Iris Shokoff of Iris Shokoff Associates once said to me, "I've never bought an ad at full rate in my life."
Are you working with a seasoned media buying consultant and/or agency?
  
6. How much can you afford to pay for an order?
• All successful direct marketing is driven by math.
• The arithmetic hinges on how much you spend for your product and the markup.
• In direct marketing, DRTV wizard Steve Dworman says you need a 5/1 markup. (Selling price is 5x the cost.) Guru and teacher Dan Kennedy says you need a seven- or eight-to-one markup. I'm comfortable with 9/1 markup. 
Do you know precisely what it costs to produce your product or service ready to ship in various quantities?
 
 7.  The Offer.
• Hard-wired into your DNA should be Ed Mayer's formula for a successful direct marketing effort: 40% Lists, 40% Offer, 20% Everything else.
• This is true for all media—Direct Mail, Telemarketing, publications chosen for print ads.
•If you use TV, your list is the broadcast area you are buying. That's your list—your 40%. Suddenly the offer becomes 80% of the formula.
Remember Ed Mayer's Formula: 40% Lists, 40% Offer, 20% Everything else.
 
 8. A Sampling of Offers.
Low, low price. Big discount for ordering now. Buy one, get one free. Piling on additional goodies and premiums. ("Wait! There's More!"). 90-day money-back-in-full guarantee. Free Shipping. All of the above.
From your private archive of Direct Response TV efforts, make a list of the various offers. Steal smart (adopt) those that appear most frequently.
 
9. The Order Mechanism.
• Is it easy to order and obvious how to order? Is the process user-friendly and absolutely clear. Are there multiple opportunities to order any time during the presentation?
 • For example, in the BionicFlexPro spot, the URL appears at the bottom of the screen at 00:15 (fifteen seconds after the start) and runs continuously by itself for one minute until 01:15. At that point, the big 800-number is posted and the two elements run together for the final 45 seconds.
• One sobering statistic: the average abandonment percentage of all digital shopping carts is roughly 70%. In other words, for every 100 prospects that start to order, 70 say "The hell with it."
Have you studied the ordering mechanisms—and the instructions—of myriad other Direct Response TV spots or full-dress infomercials?
 
10. Your 800-number Inbound Service.
• "Usually, 80% of the calls are received within an hour of when the commercial runs. The telemarketing operator follows a script pre-approved by the client." —Andrew Cohen
• Your inbound service should have your advertising schedule in hand well in advance of the big one-hour spikes in calls when the TV ads run.
• All incoming calls should be answered no later than the second ring.
• Engage a backup 800-inbound service to handle the overflow. Often these are in-home workers with a dedicated phone. When it rings, these reps drop everything to pick up the receiver (or click on their smartphone) by the second ring. These temps must also be fully trained in your product's features and benefits.
Is your inbound call system ready to rock-'n'-roll and not lose orders during spikes?
 
11. Shipping and Delivery.
• We've all been spoiled by the same day/next day delivery by Amazon and other big players. We love instant gratification!
• You absolutely, positively do not want returned merchandise from an unhappy customer.
• Get the product on its way to the customer that same day or no later than the second day.
• The longer it takes for the product to arrive, the less memory the customer will have of ever ordering it at all and the greater the chance it will be returned.
"The sale begins when the customer says yes." —Bill Christensen
"When the product arrives it ideally should be better than what the customer expected." —Marilyn Black 
• Always include a welcome letter.
"Always say thank you. It's the polite thing to do." —Roger Craver
• The person writing the welcome letter should be the writer of the original offer/script who knows the benefits and features cold and whose words the customer originally responded to.
• DO NOT assign some clerk in the shipping department to include the all-purpose, impersonal drivel that is sent to any customer that bought any product over the past 10 years.
"When the product arrives, make sure it is accompanied by instructions so clear that an idiot can understand them." —Don Jackson
Remember, you are not selling a single product. Your are welcoming a new member of your extended family whom you hope to delight for many years to come and who will yield terrific lifetime value.
 
12. Use outsiders—not in-house colleagues familiar with you and your business.
• Before you commit to the final fulfillment package, make up 5 dummies that include the actual product and all the accompanying literature and other goodies. Give these fulfillment packages to 5 strangers to test. If all five get the product up and running with as little fuss as possible, go with the package. Say thank you by gifting your secret testers with a fulfillment package containing product and goodies.
Line up a private panel of secret testers who are looking to find fault with your work.

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Word count: 1813