Wednesday, September 25, 2024

#204 First 100 Words

 

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2024/09/204-first-100-words.html

 

#204 Blog Post          Wednesday 25 September 2024


Posted by Denny Hatch

 

 

"Your First 100 Words Are More Important
Than the Next Ten Thousand."
                    —Elmer "Sizzle" Wheeler

 

 

Above is the lede of a “dry test” 8-page direct mail letter that was sent in 1979.  It offered a one-year subscription to a newsletter — International Living.  The newsletter did not exist.

It was the brainstorm of fledgling marketing genius, Bill Bonner — a
rail-thin, six-foot-two 30-year-old advertising copywriter — right after he underwent three catastrophic failures that left him $70,000 in debt.

 

Bonner sent this "dry test" letter to a rented list of several thousand homeowners to see if anyone would read it and respond. His letter — entirely fiction — was 300% profitable on day one of returns. Wow!

 

Bill immediately borrowed start-up capital, published the newsletter, and mailed that very letter for the next 23 years.

 

Today Bill Bonner’s wee newsletter business — 44 years later — is called The Agora (theagora.com). It’s a mighty conglomerate of 36 global entrepreneurial companies in 15 countries around the world with revenues of over $1 billion a year! 

 

            Bill Bonner at one of his two French chateaus, Chateau d'Ouzilly,
               
down the road from David Ogilvy's Chateau de Toffou.
             
                        

The Power of Those First 100 Words.

 Take a moment to go back and look at wizardry of Bill Bonner’s first hundred words. They paint a picture of you — “Dear Reader” — waking up in a lush lifestyle enjoyed only by the very, very rich.

 

• In those first 100 words, “you” or “your” is used seven times.

  

Your maid is bringing you your breakfast in bed while out your window  overlooking the ocean your gardener is busy pruning your lemon, cherry and fig trees and amid the splendor of your gardenias, hibiscus and hollyhocks.


• And what's more, you can easily afford it, Bonner promises.


• Bill's letter is all about YOU, the reader. Absolutely nothing about Bill.


• Nowhere to be found: the words “I,” “me,” “my,” “we” or “our.”

 

I invite you to download (free) Bill Bonner's legendary letter for
your swipe file. Not only is it the 8-page document that launched his $1 billion a year corporate empire, it's fascinating to read!

What's more, it could change how you communicate with strangers. And maybe even change your life and how you do business!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/16S8lGX0_1DaVg3jbO0EcpfgPrgxFj2Lb/view?usp=sharing

 

Today's Blog Post Was Triggered by This Letter Sent
To Me Last Month from a Colleague Asking my Opinion.



(Quickie Aside: the name and address above have been changed for the sake of privacy; they are fake. I never reveal sources. —DH)

 

This thing is emphatically not eight pages about extraordinary benefits that will change your humdrum life into millionaire’s dream world...

 

Ken Fisher’s letter is just two pages long — all about Ken Fisher, his book and his company. 

 

In this paltry two-page personalized lede you'd find “I” is used 5 times; “it“ four times; “we” thrice; and “our” twice.


Fisher’s letter instantly reminded me of freelancer Ed McLean’s blockbuster letter for Newsweek in the 1960s. The lede:

 

Dear Reader,

 

       If the list upon which I found your name is any indication, this is not the first — nor will it be the last — subscription letter you receive. Quite frankly, your education and income set you apart from the general population and make you a highly rated prospect for everything from magazines to mutual funds.

 

It was an offbeat approach — one that both flattered the reader and, at the same time, let prospects in on how they came to receive the solicitation. Many people wrote in to ask what list they were on. A few felt it was creepy and complained.

 

Many more responded by subscribing to the magazine. It was the unbeatable control for many years and was mailed in the tens of millions. 

Ken Fisher’s Preposterous Premise.

Take another look at Fisher's lede. He is saying his offer is to the “Wealthiest Americans.”  

 

Gosh, that certainly includes Jeff Bezos (net worth 204.4 billion USD),  Warren Buffett (net worth 140.9 billion USD) and Bill Gates (net worth 138.6 billion USD).

 

Can you imagine gazillionires Bezos, Buffet and Gates — gleefully jumping at the opportunity to acquire ("free to you") Ken Fisher’s 99 Retirement Tips? Plus his BONUS guide to Maximize Your Social Security?

 

Preposterous!

 

Takeaways to Consider:

Seven Proven Tips for Writers.

• “Short words! Short sentences!” Short paragraphs!”
—Andrew J. Byrne

 

• “Tests have shown that a sentence of eight words is very easy to read; of 11 words, easy; of 14 words, fairly easy; of 17 words, standard; of 21 words, fairly difficult; of 25 words, difficult; of 29 or more words, very difficult; so this sentence with 54 words, counting numbers, is ranked impossible.”
—Virginia-Pilot

 

• The 7 Key Copy Drivers — emotional hot buttons that make people act:
Fear – Greed – Guilt – Anger – Exclusivity – Salvation – Flattery
—Axel Andersson. Bob Hacker

 

• “If your copy isn’t dripping with one or more of these copy drivers, tear it up and start over.”
—Bob Hacker

 

• The 13 most powerful and evocative words in the English language are:
 You -  Save - Money - Guarantee - Love – Results -Proven –
 Safety - Easy – New - Health - Discovery – Free
—Goodman Ace

 

"Avoid gray walls of type."
—David Ogilvy


“Type smaller than 9-point is difficult for most people to read.”  
 —David Ogilvy

*    *    *    *    *   

               # # #

Wednesday, May 15, 2024

#203 Stu AdAge



#203 Blog Post - Wednesday, 15 May 2024

Posted by Denny Hatch

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2024/05/203-stu-adage.html

How a Cartoonist Morphed into a
Grand Master of Direct Marketing
.

 

Stu Heinecke's love of cartoons started very early. When he was ten years old Stu and his brothers sneaked Playboys out of their father's dresser drawer. Of course, they read the articles... and looked at the beautiful women.

"But I was also fascinated by the cartoons," Stu said. "Every issue had a full-page cartoon by Gahan Wilson and Eldon Dedini, and later they became part of my direct marketing agency. Same with Leo Cullum, who introduced me to The New Yorker cartoon editor at the time, Lee Lorenz. Lee then introduced me to essentially the rest of the primary cartoonists in the magazine including Bob Mankoff, who eventually became the cartoon editor himself, Arnie Levin, Donald Reilly, Sam Gross and many more.

"I pulled all of them into my fledgling marketing group and presented their work as our portfolio of cartoonists. I was making them money and working with them on a lot of campaigns, so naturally, when I came to the city, we'd hang out. What I didn't realize till many years later is that this was one giant mentorship program for me. My own cartooning improved to the point of becoming one of the WSJ cartoonists."


Stu's cartoons are amusing. But they seldom reached the laff-out-loud, thigh-slapping heights of say, The New Yorker's legendary Chas Addams and Peter Arno.

       Stu Heinecke on Using Cartoons in Direct Marketing.
"The 'experts' used to say humor doesn't work in direct marketing. Man, were they wrong.

     "At the center of our work are personalized cartoons. Why? Readership surveys have long shown cartoons to be the best-read and remembered part of magazines and newspapers. Similarly, when one of our pieces shows up in a stack of mail, it also stands out above the rest.

     "In fact, the effect can be quite magical. Our pieces are often treated as keepsakes, finding their way onto refrigerator doors and office walls, where they can serve as a constant reminder of your offer and brand. In business-to-business settings where most promotional mail quickly gets screened away, our pieces achieve surprisingly high penetration (assistants don't tend to throw away cartoons about their bosses).

     "But none of this makes a difference unless it translates into successful tests, controls and campaign. And has it ever."

      How Did Stu Choose Cartoonists for His Marketing Group?
"I went for the ones whose work I knew from two magazines, especially The New Yorker. I learned an important lesson very early — work with the very best people in a given field. It pays off in ways that you can never imagine till you do it. I had the best cartoonists in the world in my stable, on exclusive contracts for direct mail. No one else could get to them. No one else could compete, even though they tried quite often."

    In 1992 Stu Hit the Jackpot with Textbook Perfection!
The client was Advertising Age, aristocrat of advertising/marketing business magazines. Founded in 1930 it publishes 18 issues a year and reaches 54,000+ print subscribers and two million plus monthly digital users.

Here's Stu's direct mail envelope featuring a drawing by The New Yorker senior cartoonist, Leo Cullum.

"The only purpose of the carrier envelope, other than keeping its contents from spilling onto the street, is to get itself opened."
—Herschell Gordon Lewis, Legendary Freelance Copywriter.

         Quickie Rule on What Makes Successful Marketing Copy:
The seven Key Copy Drivers (emotional hot buttons that cause people to take immediate action) are:
Fear — Greed — Guilt — Anger — Exclusivity — Salvation — Flattery.

"If your copy isn't dripping with one or more of these hot buttons, tear it up and start over." —Bob Hacker, Direct Marketing Guru, Seattle, Washington

Note the 14 words of the caption of Leo Cullum's cartoon on the above envelope. You'll find two of the seven Hot Buttons: exclusaivity and a ton of flattery.

                   Hot Button #1: "Exclusivity"
Everybody loves to see their name in print. An envelope addressed to "John Q. Sample" by name is guaranteed to generate exponentially more readers than one addressed to "Occupant" or "Currant Resident." John Sample's name appears twice on this envelope. This envelope is conclusively exclusive for John Q. Sample.

       Hot Button #2: "Flattery" (in the cartoon caption)
"We need someone with vision, creativity and great marketing instincts... someone like John Q. Sample."

      As an Example of Marketing Wizardry by Stu Heinecke
        Turned His Envelope into a Marvelous Premium.
• A premium is Free Gift to sweeten the deal for the buyer.

• "A premium is a bribe to say 'Yes' now."  —Dick Benson

• Do the arithmetic. Make sure your return on investment in a premium gift justifies the additional expense. The Leo Cullum personalized cartoon costs peanuts to produce and mail.

The First 4 Paragraphs of Stu's Three-page Sales Letter
Where He Leads with His Irresistible Free premium.

 


 

Paragraph 1 — Outrageous, Delicious Flattery
    
The Publisher of Advertising Age asked me to make a very special subscription offer to a small, select group of advertising and marketing professionals. Your name was submitted to me as one who qualifies.

Paragraph 2 — Exclusivity, Greed.
    
So ... here it is — a private invitation to subscribe to Advertising Age at the best discount I can offer — a savings of $40 off the cover price. And, if you send in your subscription order by September 4, 1990, you will also receive an 8 X 10, suitable-for-framing gallery print of the cartoon above, personalized with your name.

Paragraph 3 — Exclusivity, Greed.
     This limited edition cartoon by famous New Yorker cartoonist Leo Cullum will be personalized with your name, and mailed to you absolutely free and with our compliments.

Paragraph 4 — Salvation.
    
This opportunity to subscribe to Advertising Age at such a low rate is being offered to you Mr. Sample, because we are sure that you will benefit from....

                                     For the Record.
When Peggy and I were publishing the newsletter, WHO'S MAILING WHAT! this AdAge mailing first arrived in our massive Archive around 1990 and continued coming month-after-month for seven straight years. It was obviously hugely successful and, above all, profitable! This amazing direct mail effort is one of the 1,600+ "Grand Controls" that were mailed for three or more consecutive years during the three decades we collected direct mail samples.

 Quickie Note on the Use of Premiums.

 

"This goes back to the old adage of 'spending money to make money.' Make sure your return on investment justifies the additional expense. Do not simply insert or offer premiums because you think it is clever strategy.' —Dan Cappel

Leo Cullum's personalized cartoon cost peanuts to print in black-and-white and mailed to each new subscriber for who pays for the frame to display it. This ego-stroking goodie had a high perceived value and cost maybe a dollar apiece with shipping.

The above personalized ceramic mug from an earlier AdAge promotion is a much bigger deal. Each mug requires an individual printing and production job. My guess: printing a different name on each white blank mug, firing it in a kiln at 2200° degrees, waiting for it to cool – plus highly protective packaging, addressing and postage would run up the cost to maybe $7—$10 (or more) per new subscriber, puts a serious dent in your allowable cost-per-order. Print periodicals generally don't begin to break even or start turning a profit until the second or third year (if ever). ;-)

  

Stu's Signature Book


                     Click Here for Amazon                         


 Stu and His Team Have Created 50+ Controls (so far)
For Publishers, Non-publishers and Fund Raisers.



A Bunch More.

A Preview of Peripatetic Stu's Current Passion:
"Weed Strategy" and "Contact Marketing"

Click Below for Details on Amazon

GET THE MEETING!

HOW TO GET A MEETING WITH ANYONE

HOW TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS LIKE A WEED

P.S. Stu is a fascinating, fun guy with a treasure trove of Direct Marketing Information — know-how ideas, copy and design experience.  Loves working with people to help expand their businesses. Give him a shout at https://stuheinecke.com

                                                   ###

 Word Count: 1332


 


292pp     6" x 9"
Hardcover:     $39.95
Paperback:     $29.95
ebook/Kindle: $19.95

Amazon

 https://www.amazon.com/Method-Marketing-Denison-Hatch/dp/1648372767/ref=sr_1_9?keywords=method+marketing&qid=1681898276&sr=8-9

Barnes & Noble

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/method-marketing-denison-hatch/1100485178?ean=9781648372766

 

At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press. He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 years he has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.

CONTACT
dennyhatch@gmail.com


Note to Readers:  Denny Hatch's Marketing Blog is FREE.
No Cost. No Risk. No Obligation. Cancel Any Time. Learn. Enjoy.

May I send you an alert when each new blog is posted? If so, kindly give me the okay by send
ing your First Name, Last Name and email to 
dennyhatch@gmail.com. I guarantee your personal information will not be shared with anyone at any time for any reason. The blog is a free service. No cost. No risk. No obligation. Cancel any time. I look forward to being in touch!

IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE POSTING A COMMENT… EMAIL ME! I'LL HELP!
Google owns Blogspot.com and this Comment Section. If you do not have a Google account — or if you find it too damn complicated — contact me directly and I will happily post your comment. Thank you and do keep in touch. dennyhatch@yahoo.com


Invitation to Marketers and Direct Marketers: 
Guest Blog Posts Are Welcome. 
If you have a marketing story to tell, case history, concept to propose or a memoir, give a shout. I’ll get right back to you. I am: 
dennyhatch@gmail.com
215-644-9526 (rings on my desk). 

You Are Invited to Join the Discussion.

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

#202 Neptune Lttr

#202 Blog Post  —  Wednesday,  3 April 2024

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2024/04/202-neptune-lttr.html

Posted by Denny Hatch 

 

     The Tale of This Eerie Dreary Letter and
      How It Morphed into a Barrel of Boffo Laffs!


 

                 Dear Margaret:

 

               For over 50 years Neptune Cremation Service and its affiliates have 
                been recognized as the largest and most trusted cremation provider in
                the United States. We provide simple cremation at an affordable price
                without any of the unnecessary services many people don't want.

 

                We want to make sure that we are reaching you, so if you want to
                know more about the benefits of cremation please complete the
                information below and we will deliver to you the latest version of our
                cremation answer book.
 


                        

 

       

         

 

       (Detach and Mail)
       -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


        [End of entire 86-word anonymous sales letter to Peggy
        on cheap blank white printer paper with no letterhead nor
        sender's name. Corporate address Milmont Park in
        Pennsylvania (the state where we live) is buried on
        backside of little letter.
Company web address (above right)
        for some strange reason will land you Happy Valley, 
        Oregon. No Sender's Signature at letter's close. Mailed in
        a handsome hand-typed vellum envelope with a Business
        Reply Envelope (BRE). No brochure. Nuttin' else.]

 

Okay. I had a lede for a quirky new blog post. Where to next?

 

Over the years I’ve written a gazillion articles, columns, checklists, blog posts plus delivered lectures that added to my proven techniques, rules and how-to’s for creating powerful letters, emails and ad copy. The idea of doing another of these tedious suckers bored the hell out of me — and also most likely you, the reader.


Plus... I’m 88. Cremation ain't a subject I like to think about.  :)


Then It Hit Me — I Remembered The Rolls-Royce of Burials!

Many years ago somebody came up with the wacky scheme that you or your deceased loved one might like sleeping in a casket with music playing forever and ever. Am I nuts? Did I remember the idea correctly?

 

I Googled “coffins play music for eternity” and BINGO!

 

Up popped a slew of merchants and craftsmen selling $20,000 to $30,000 coffins with interior Surround Sound Music. Included are the highest-tech grave markers with solar panels that enable the living to change the music from any place on earth or in space forever. Below is the first of multiple entries:


About 5,530,000 results (0.39 seconds)

CLICK BELOW.

Music To Die For(ever) In Your Casket With Surround Sound ...

https://kingfm.com/music-to-die-forever-in-your-casket-with-surround-sound-video/

Then Click on the Red-and-white
YouTube Arrow on the Casket.





  

 101.9 KING FM - LandonProduction
 Sep 5, 2013

 

 

 

 

Click on the Red-and-white YouTube Arrow on the Casket.

Watch This Dude for the Funniest, Wildest,
Strangest Video Sales Pitch You'll Ever See!

I confess. I find this performance such a hoot I'm not sure this is a legit website offering Surround Sound Coffins for sale.  Or is it an elaborate YouTube put-on?

 

Selling a product or service on online or TV requires a world-class copywriter/pitchman. Have fun and learn from my two all time favorites.

              Billy Mays                               Ron Popeil

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/02/85-americas-two-greatest-tv-pitchmen.html

Takeaways to Consider

• "It’s not the cough that carries you off – it’s the coffin they carry you
off in."
Robert Leland Taylor

 

Other memorable quotes by Robert Leland Taylor”

• "My air bag went off this morning. I told her to shut the hell up."

 

• "I may not agree with your position, but I will defend to the death your right to concede."

 

• "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, you’re probably in the wrong bathroom."

 

• "Just humor me, okay"


###

Word Count: 618