Wednesday, July 21, 2021

#133 Emeril Infomercial

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/07/133-emeril-infomercial.html 

 

#133 Blog Post - Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

THE ULTIMATE TV INFOMERCIAL FOR
THE GREATEST NEW KITCHEN GADGET!

What triggered this post was Emeril Lagasse jumping out of my giant TV screen with one of the most alive, fun-filled half-hours I have spent in the past 18 months.

Even with progress in dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic—coupled with the sunny optimism of the Joe Biden team and his giving financial help and hope to the poorest, hungriest and most desperate of Americans—I still wake up most mornings with a renewed sense of dread. On my worst days—for the first time in my life—I pop an anti-anxiety pill.

May God bless Emeril, his amazing pasta making machine and the joyous half hour of entertainment he supplied. Emeril's effervescent enthusiasm is contagious as he—and his buoyant sous chef Kimberley Locke of American Idol—showed me how to create dazzling epicurean masterpieces in minutes. And for a fraction of what we are paying now.

How about this for starters: you can make a pound of pasta (enough for a dinner of 8) in four minutes for 54¢! That's the same glorious pasta served in three star Michelin restaurants across the world. With this  machine you can instantly produce all kinds of noodles and pasta: penne, spaghetti, linguine, tagliatelle, udon noodles, angel hair, fettuccine, lasagna. Plus... chopped meat, grated cheese, fruit and vegetable juices and frozen yogurt and gelatos.

A Memorable Encounter with Emeril
Back When We Were Both Starting Out

When Peggy and I took over Target Marketing magazine—on life support in 1993—we saved it by hiring Barry Futtersak, an old-time magazine space salesman to generate advertising revenue. Barry's MO: "Never take 'no' for an answer." In other words, "Do not leave a meeting without an order."

For two years Barry and I took endless trips around the country talking to potential advertisers and tracking down stories for the editors—many of which I wrote.

Barry was also a world-class bon vivant. He knew American cities inside and out—the good hotels, the new "in" restaurants and the very best jazz joints and after hours clubs.

That first year Barry and I fetched up in New Orleans having made a lunch date with a young woman whose name and product are long lost in the mists of time. Still vivid in my brain was the lunch we had at the hot new restaurant in town—Emeril's.

       Barry                   Young Emeril             Emeril's New Orleans

  Emeril Lagasse was an oh-so-young dynamo who happened to be in the foyer when we entered. He greeted us, seated us, handed us menus and tore off to work the kitchen and work the room.

 Following a truly memorable meal, when we were leaving I noticed in the entrance a table with copies of his just published New NEW ORLEANS COOKING.

I bought one and asked Emeril to autograph it to our prospective client, which he did—and added a sketch of himself in his high white toque. What an ebullient guy, marvelous chef and sheer delight! (Our young guest was thrilled with the book and became a long term advertiser!)

The TV Infomercial: It's Come a Long Way, Baby!

Before our quick tour of the delights served up by Emeril in his extraordinary advertorial, let me to share with you the very first advertorial in television history. First aired in 1950, it stars William G. "Papa" Bernard, inventor, founder and CEO of the Vitamix food processor. (Running time: 27:29.) You can give it a couple of minutes and get the idea or...
     ... if you're like me—a sucker for stunning sales pitches—you'll be riveted by Papa Bernard's presentation and want to savor more of it. You'll discover it contains the DNA of its thousands of offspring programs that have been produced, shot and aired over the past 70+ years. It's a gem!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm5IzzGPzQA  
 

 Now... to Emeril's Marvelous Infomercial That
Includes Live-Action Gourmet Cooking Lessons!


      Shrimp Dish                  Spinach Taglietelle        Pasta Primavera

The advertorial starts with a quick, powerful two-minute commercial for all the amazing benefits of his pasta machine.

• Just as you are getting a bit bored with the pitch, Chef Emeril starts creating the shrimp dish at left. He shows you exactly what he is doing. You see the various ingredients being combined, the cooked pasta from his machine is added and a fabulous gourmet meal has been concocted in just a few minutes. It's a dazzling performance!

• Emeril said the shrimp dish (you see it here before the pasta is added) would cost $20 or more in a restaurant—$160 for a party of eight. The eight servings created here with pasta from his machine can be created for a total of $10!

• After showing you how to make a couple of  more recipes, the two-minute commercial is repeated. And before you know it he's the gourmet teacher again showing you how to make more spectacular pasta dishes.

• Among the marvelous recipes you'll learn how to master (with or without his machine) by watching this video:
— Pasta pesto
— Marinara sauce
— Mac & Cheese using freshly made noodles
— Fettuccine with prosciutto and cheese

• Quite simply Emeril is giving you a real deal—making you an expert chef—whether or not you buy his pasta machine.

• The one word that describes Emeril and his infomercial: "Mesmerizing!"

• I urge you to watch it. Cook from it. Exult in it!

• You'll love it! Guaranteed!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah53cFmOQw8&t=338s

                         Takeaways to Consider
• In the 800 years of Direct Marketing, only two long-form advertising platforms have been devised: the full-dress direct mail package and the infomercial.

• The 30-minute infomercial originated with Vitamix in 1949-50.

• A recent blog post described two of the greatest modern masters of the infomercial: Billy Mays and Ron Popeil.
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/02/85-americas-two-greatest-tv-pitchmen.html

 • Emeril gives away live-action cooking lessons—taking the advertorial into fascinating new territory!

P.S. A Personal Confession
Okay, I have not yet ordered my Emeril Pasta making machine (even though it not only makes world-class pasta, but apparently does everything a modern food processor will do at a fraction the cost of my Cuisinart). I would have gone for it in a nanosecond if we still had our house with the big kitchen. Alas, we downsized to a two-bedroom apartment with a tiny galley kitchen and minimal storage areas already stuffed with stuff. We simply haven't the space for another kitchen appliance. But I'm seriously thinking of it!

 

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Word count:1333

 

You Are Invited to Meet Denny Hatch and
See His
26-minute Geezer-Fast Yoga Routine

 
At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press. He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 years he has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.

CONTACT

dennyhatch@yahoo.com

Note to Readers:  
May I send you an alert when each new blog is posted? If so, kindly give me the okay by sending your First Name, Last Name and email to dennyhatch@yahoo.com. I guarantee your personal information will not be shared with anyone at any time for any reason. The blog is a free service. No cost. No risk. No obligation. Cancel any time. I look forward to being in touch!

IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE POSTING A COMMENT… EMAIL ME! I'LL HELP!
Google owns Blogspot.com and this Comment Section. If you do not have a Google account — or if you find it too damn complicated — contact me directly and I will happily post your comment with a note that this is per your permission. Thank you and do keep in touch. dennyhatch@yahoo.com

Invitation to Marketers and Direct Marketers: 
Guest Blog Posts Are Welcome. 
If you have a marketing story to tell, case history, concept to propose or a memoir, give a shout. I’ll get right back to you. I am: dennyhatch@yahoo.com
215-644-9526 (rings on my desk).
You Are Invited to Join the Discussion.

Wednesday, July 7, 2021

#132 EARGO Hearing Aids

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/07/132-eargo-hearing-aids.html


#132 Blog Post — Wednesday, July 7, 2020

Posted by Denny Hatch

The Huge Digital Ad Agency Sticks
 Its Toe in Direct Marketing Waters



















 

This email arrived three weeks ago.

• Celebrate Father's Day? I have never been a father.

• (Is this a guy thing—only for fathers? What about Mom? And single women?)

• I never heard of EARGO.

• My hearing is perfectly okay.

• Ain't no way in hell I would stick that nasty looking thing—with what appear to be bristles or wires—deep into my ears. Eeeek!

• The main headline—"$450 OFF"—instantly signals a product costing thousands of dollars.

• Because the headline was all about price, I surfed Google and discovered EARGO hearing aids cost from $1700 to slightly less than $3000.

• Suddenly I'm forced to think about spending a lot of money. 

• $450 OFF could apply to anything—a motor scooter, kitchen appliances, a travel offer or a custom-made suit.

It's Immediately Obvious this Email Was Created By Marketers That Broke the Rules of Direct Marketing

For years Seattle's Bob Hacker—retired direct marketing agency genius, impresario, and curmudgeon—has railed against general agencies that claim to be experts in direct marketing.

It took a quick five minutes on Google to discover that name of the agency responsible for this brash, rule-breaking effort—HUGE.

I was right. Huge is not a direct marketing agency. Huge is not even a general agency.

It's a digital agency.

For a Taste of This Digital Agency
Check Out the Huge Landing Page

https://www.hugeinc.com
 

Learn more. Move the cursor over to the right and click on "Mat Baxter. CEO." I think you'll find it to be disjointed and making no sense.

(Incidentally in the six days of writing this blog post, the Huge landing page was changed 3x.) 

Now Scroll Down the Landing Page

• With the huge, overpowering headline featuring Mat Baxter, I was eager to find out who he is and his experience.

•  Alas, this is the only reference to—and photo of—Max Baxter on the landing page. I had to scramble all over the Huge website to find his bio.

• Prowl the website and you'll discover an agency that all about "we," "us' and "our." I couldn't find the words "you" or "your" anywhere.

• Huge is an agency filled with people hugely full of themselves.

              Am I Being Hugely Unfair to Huge?
Just to be sure I wasn't making a huge error I Googled the Huge staff directory to see if anybody—anybody at all—had direct marketing experience. I came up drier than the Mojave Desert in mid-summer.
     Lots of award-winning campaigns, Super Bowl spots, international travel, "digitally-led thinking," high-profile strategic engagements, newsworthiness, entrepreneurialism  and (my favorite) "helping clients capitalize on the seismic shift reshaping the marketing landscape."
     Click on the staff directory and you won't find a single mention of direct marketing experience anywhere in the CVs of the 21 agency principals.

Amazingly Ergo Has Entrusted Huge to Create a Huge,
Obviously Pricy Multi-media Direct Marketing Campaign


Medium #1: email
We examined the email to me in the lede of this blog post.

Medium #2: Direct Mail
Several days later I received this six-panel self-mailer printed on card stock folded down to 6" x 9" postcard size.

Here's a sample of copy from this postcard effort:

LICENSED HEARING
PROFESSIONALS
No unnecessary doctor appointments.
Just give us a call!

VIRTUALLY INVISIBLE
So small and slick they're
hidden from view

PURE COMFORT
So sleek and smooth you'll
probably forget they're there

EXCEPTIONAL AUDIO
State-of-the-art technology for
The highest sound quality

RECHARGABLE
No batteries required:
1 charge = up to 16 hours
of hearing perfection

LIFETIME SUPPORT
Access to licensed hearing
professionals
every step of the way, forever

Medium #3: Digital Ads—Lots of Them!
Below is one of the EARGO ads that showed up on my iPad, iPhone and seemingly everywhere I wandered surfing the internet. This one was in the middle of my morning
Apple News.



Medium #4: TV and Internet—
Check Out EARGO's Condom [sic] Spot.
You read that right: Condom Spot. It might win a creativity prize, but thoroughly embarrassing—and shaming—a nice American family (as well as giving TV viewers the creepy-crawlies) will not sell hearing aids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwSqSITCLCk


                                            Takeaways to Consider
• Stan Rapp, legendary co-founder of the Rapp Collins Agency came up with the ultimate two-word definition of direct marketing: "Intimate Advertising."
 
• "Intimate Advertising" is not a brash, ballsy overpowering promise to deaf seniors to save $450.

• For starters, anybody who can afford $1700-$3000 for a hearing aid system would be far more interested in improved hearing—not saving $450.

• "Intimate" is generally a letter—in print or digital—from one writer whispering into the ear of one reader about recapturing the joyous sounds of music, theater, summer rain on the roof, waterfalls and—as E.B. White suggested—"the most beautiful sound in America, 'the tinkle of ice at twilight.' "

• "Lede with benefits. End with proof." —Gary North

• Of all the formats used in direct marketing, none has more power to generate action than the intimate me-to-you communication of a personal letter.

• For example, the most successful advertisement in the history of the world is the 777-word letter by Martin Conroy that brought in $2 billion in subscription revenue to The Wall Street Journal over the 25+ years it was mailed. (Think about it—777 words bringing in $2 billion. Why that's $25.7 million a word!)
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2019/01/37-most-successful-advertisement-in.html

• Let's say you have been assigned the task of marketing a new product (or service). Where to start?

1. Learn everything about the features and benefits of the product.

2. Get inside the head and under the skin of the person you want to reach with your message. Think how he thinks, feel what she feels. Become that person.

3. Come up with a Unique Selling Proposition (USP)—a few pithy words that instantly capture the irresistible benefits of the product—and how it stands out from the competition.
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2018/10/26-your-toughest-copywriting-challenge.html

4. Here's one for EARGO: "I can't believe it! I can hear everything for the first time in years!"

• The Huge agency writers and designers do not cause the hearts of hearing impaired seniors go pitty-pat with the benefits of hearing. Throughout their material they are fixated with the "features" of the product and show it over and over. The idea of sticking this grotesque thing deep into my ear gives me the willies. 

 • This is akin to Otto Von Bismarck's line about being served sausage right after seeing the inside of a sausage factory.

• A line of copy that gives me pause:
"No unnecessary doctor appointments. Just give us a call!"

• Why do the EARGO folks crap on doctors, calling them "unnecessary?"

• It seems to me the enthusiastic support, partnership and prescriptions of doctors would be a huge benefit to customers... and to EARGO.

• Put another way, if EARGO seems to be doing an end run around the medical profession, something must be wrong with the product.

###

Word count: 1069

You Are Invited to Meet Denny Hatch and
See His
26-minute Geezer-Fast Yoga Routine

 
At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press. He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 years he has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.

CONTACT

dennyhatch@yahoo.com

Note to Readers:  
May I send you an alert when each new blog is posted? If so, kindly give me the okay by sending your First Name, Last Name and email to dennyhatch@yahoo.com. I guarantee your personal information will not be shared with anyone at any time for any reason. The blog is a free service. No cost. No risk. No obligation. Cancel any time. I look forward to being in touch!

IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE POSTING A COMMENT… Email Me!
Google owns Blogspot.com and this Comment Section. If you do not have a Google account — or if you find it too damn complicated — contact me directly and I will happily post your comment with a note that this is per your permission. Thank you and do keep in touch. dennyhatch@yahoo.com

Invitation to Marketers and Direct Marketers: 
Guest Blog Posts Are Welcome. 
If you have a marketing story to tell, case history, concept to propose or a memoir, give a shout. I’ll get right back to you. I am: dennyhatch@yahoo.com
215-644-9526 (rings on my desk).
You Are Invited to Join the Discussion