#186 Abortion Pill Melee

 

#186 Blogpost  - Wednesday, 19 April 2023

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2023/04/186-abortion-pill-melee.html

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

How Direct Marketers Can

Solve the Abortion Pill Melee

 

The Chateau Lafite Solution… and Omertà! 

 

On January 16, 1919, America went nuts. Prohibition!

 

On that date the 18^th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution was ratified. As of January 17, 1920, it was illegal to buy a bottle of wine… or bourbon… or home distilled rotgut... or beer or anything else to drink containing more than ½ of one percent alcohol.

 

Americans were not about to give up wines, spirits and beer back then any more than they will cease making babies (on purpose or in error) these days.

 

In the 1920s it did not take long for the underworld (a.k.a. the Mob/Mafia) to figure out the mechanics of satisfying consumers’ thirst all over the country while making themselves tons of money.

Example: The family fortune of Joseph P. Kennedy (father of President John F. Kennedy) originated in bootlegging. In 1935 Kennedy's net worth was $180 million, the equivalent of $33.5 billion in 2023). President Jack Kennedy's net worth was $260 million ($25.6 billion in 2023).

Back then quenching America's thirst was complicated as hell — gangs of goons in fast cars, trucks and speedboats secretly keeping restaurants, speakeasies and private homes continually supplied with cumbersome cases of banned bottles of booze and wines — as well as clunky kegs of beer — seven days a week.

 

In This New Prohibition Era (of Abortion)
Direct Marketers Can Replace Mafia Goons

Today the challenge is much simpler — getting teensy pills into the medicine cabinets of millions of oh-so-terrified American families.

 

Think of it! In this marvelous age of miniaturization we can equate an abortion pill in 2023 to clunky cases of wine or booze or kegs of beer way back in 1923.

 

An Aside: About the Modern Abortion Pill

For centuries a safe, successful abortion required trained personnel, sterilized implements and real estate — a mini operatory, doctor’s office or back bedroom.  

 

Enter Mifepristone — tiny pills that can achieve in two seconds the same result as a ham-handed human abortionist. These tablets are a lot easier to distribute unobtrusively than cases of Lafite, Jack Daniels or kegs of beer.

 

Before Anything: Do these Pills Work?  Are They Safe?

The answer is yes and yes.

“Mifepristone is the first of two medications used in a medication abortion (also known as the “abortion pill”). Mifepristone has been safe and legal in the United States since the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the brand name Mifeprex nearly 20 years ago. On 28 September 2000 the FDA approved the first generic form of mifepristone, following a review of the evidence that medication abortion is a safe, effective way to end an early pregnancy — with a safety record of over 99%.”—Planned Parenthood

Safety: Mifepristone vs. Penicillin vs. Viagra
(20 years of Statistics)
Mifepristone: 5 deaths per million users
Penicillin: 20 deaths per million users.
Viagra: 48 deaths per million users.
—U.S. Food and Drug Administration

How the Lafite Solution Would Work
As a die-hard direct marketer, I would set up a bunch of small offshore catalog companies offering merchandise. Oh, maybe sports clothes, jewelry, cosmetics, scented candles, cookies and candies à la The Vermont Country Store kinds of innocuous products. The wee Mifepristone pills could be hidden in a slightly lumpy #10 or 6"x9" First Class envelope or disguised in the wrapping paper of myriad unobtrusive small packages amidst the crap merchandise.

The Feds couldn't possibly (and wouldn't dare) open and inspect every slightly lumpy envelope or package shipped by the USPS, UPS and FedEx.

 

Welcome to the Modern Mob!

 

A votre santé!

 

And… Don't forget Omertà! (The legendary Mafia code of absolute silence made famous by Mario Puzo in The Godfather.)

 ###

 

Word Count: 613

 

292pp     6" x 9"
Hardcover:     $39.95
Paperback:     $29.95
ebook/Kindle: $19.95

Amazon

 https://www.amazon.com/Method-Marketing-Denison-Hatch/dp/1648372767/ref=sr_1_9?keywords=method+marketing&qid=1681898276&sr=8-9

Barnes & Noble

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/method-marketing-denison-hatch/1100485178?ean=9781648372766

 

At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press. He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 years he has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.

CONTACT
dennyhatch@yahoo.com

Note to Readers:  
May I send you an alert when each new blog is posted? If so, kindly give me the okay by sending your First Name, Last Name and email to dennyhatch@yahoo.com. I guarantee your personal information will not be shared with anyone at any time for any reason. The blog is a free service. No cost. No risk. No obligation. Cancel any time. I look forward to being in touch!

IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE POSTING A COMMENT… EMAIL ME! I'LL HELP!
Google owns Blogspot.com and this Comment Section. If you do not have a Google account — or if you find it too damn complicated — contact me directly and I will happily post your comment with a note that this is per your permission. Thank you and do keep in touch. dennyhatch@yahoo.com

Invitation to Marketers and Direct Marketers: 
Guest Blog Posts Are Welcome. 
If you have a marketing story to tell, case history, concept to propose or a memoir, give a shout. I’ll get right back to you. I am: dennyhatch@yahoo.com
215-644-9526 (rings on my desk). 

You Are Invited to Join the Discussion.

#185 Wackadoodle English

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2023/04/185-wackadoodle-english.html

#185 Blog Post   Tuesday, 11 April 2023

 

Posted by Denny Hatch

  

Annie Reneau’s Wackadoodle

New Way to Write English.

 

 

"This viral tool could be a game-changer for some."
                        —Annie Reneau, 03.27.23

Above is a sample of Bionic Text—a bizzarro new way of presenting the English language that is supposed to enable mentally challenged readers suffering from Dyslexia and/or ADHD to understand what they are reading. 

 

Note: Later in this post I’ll supply the link to the “free text converter” that you can use to change any text into Annie Reneau's "game-changer." A YouTube Clip from the company also shows possibilities for how the font can be adjusted to individual preferences, making more or less of the initial letters bolded of the 3.5% of the population who suffer from ADHD or the 20% that allegedly has dyslexia.

 

A Personal Opinion

The illustration of Bionic Text above is like nothing I have ever seen in my 87 years. It seems to me if a mentally challenged reader gets hooked on this fringe variation of oddball writing the English language, it could kill the comprehension of normal prose. Ergo: no ability to make sense of books, newspapers,  magazines, e-mails, memos, printed instructions or the Internet.

 A Famous Victim of Dyslexia

In World War II, my very first boyhood hero was the dyslexic General George S. Patton, Jr., 1885-1945. Patton’s dyslexia was so severe he was forced to repeat his first year at West Point. With horrendous difficulty he taught himself to read and write orders in traditional English. In his dash through France Patton’s Third Army liberated 82,000 square miles, 1,500 cities and towns and 12,000 inhabited places. His army killed and wounded a half-million enemy soldiers and captured 956,000 prisoners. Praise God he was not dependent on Annie Reneau’s loopy Bionic Text. It would have rendered him totally unable to read or write normal communications. He never would have been given command of Third Army. The War in Europe would have been prolonged for months with hundreds of thousands more American troops killed and wounded.  

 

Below are 10 basic rules for creating easy-to-read English Language Text in Print or Online.

 

1.    Three Basic Couplets

“Short Words! Short Sentences! Short Paragraphs!" —Andrew J. Byrne

 

 2.   Optimal Sentence Length (Number of Words)

Taped to every desk lamp Scott Huch inherited for 30 years was this faded newspaper clipping:

 

Text of the above clipping.

Tests have shown that a sentence of eight words is very easy to read; of 11 words, easy; of 14 words, fairly easy; of 17 words, standard; of 21 words, fairly difficult; of 25 words, difficult; of 29 or more words, very difficult; so this sentence with 54 words, counting numbers, is ranked impossible.
—Virginia-Pilot

 

 Try to Make Sense of This 132-word Sentence
It is true that the strategic bombing surveys published by the Allies, together with the records of the Federal German Statistics Office and other official sources, who that the Royal Air Force alone dropped a million tons of bombs on enemy territory; it is true that of the 131 towns and cities attacked, some only one and some repeatedly, many were almost entirely flattened, that about 600,000 German civilians fell victim to air raids, and that three and a half million homes were destroyed, while at the end of the war seven and a half million people were left homeless, and there were 31.1 cubic meters of rubble for every person in Cologne and 42.8 cubic meters for every inhabitant of Dresden but we do not grasp what it all actually meant.

—W.G. Sebald, On the Natural History of Destruction (Word Count: 132)

 

(A Personal Aside): When self-editing if I come across a sentence that seems too long, I do a word count. If it’s 29 words or longer, I break it into separate sentences.

 

 

3.  Online Readability: Optimal Line Length (# of characters).
“The optimal line length for your body text is considered to be 50-60 characters per line, including spaces (“Typographie”, E. Ruder). Other sources suggest that up to 75 characters is acceptable.
— Christian Holst, Baymard Institute

 

4.   Serif vs. San Serif

Experts urge the use of serif type (e.g., Times, Garamond) for copy in printed material and sans serif  (e.g. Verdana, Helvetica) in digital communications.

 

5. Avoid Gray walls of type!” 
          —David Ogilvy

 

"Nothing is less inviting than a solid page of gray text with nothing to break it up or catch the eye."  —Ed Elliott

 

6. Break the Tedium of Type with Crossheads/Mini Headlines

 “After two or three inches of copy, insert your first mini headline [crosshead], and thereafter pepper them throughout. They keep the reader marching forward.”—David Ogilvy

 

“An ingenious sequence of boldly displayed mini headlines can deliver the substance of your entire pitch to glancers who are too lazy to wade through the text.” —David Ogilvy

 

7. Headlines, Teasers and Email Subject Lines

“The headline selects the reader.” 
—Axel Andersson
Is it obvious from the headline who should read what you have to say?

 

 “On the average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy. When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your advertising dollar.” 
—David Ogilvy

 

 “The headline on your ad—and the teaser on your direct mail envelope—and the subject line of your email—are the hot pants on the hooker.” 
—Bill Jayme

 

“The writer of this chapter spends far more time on headlines than on writing. He often spends hours on a single headline. Often scores of headlines are discarded before the right one is selected."
—Claude Hopkins

 

8.   Avoid “Blind” Headlines.

"Some headlines are 'blind.' They don't say what the product is, or what it will do for you. They are about 20 percent below average in recall."
—David Ogilvy

 

“Your headline should telegraph what you want to say—in simple language. Readers do not stop to decipher the meanings of obscure headlines.” 
—David Ogilvy

 

9. Type Must Be Readable

 “Type smaller than 9-point is difficult for most people to read.” 
—David Ogilvy

 

 10.  Avoid Busy Backgrounds

“Never set your copy in white type on a black background and never set it over a gray or colored tint. The old school of art directors believed that these devices forced people to read the copy; we now know that they make reading physically impossible.”
—David Ogilvy

 

The Most Unbelievable Newspaper Ad Ever Published

• It was a single full-page black-and-white newspaper broadsheet advertisement published in The New York Times October 19, 1948.

• With 6450 words jammed onto the page, it was the longest ad in the history of The New York Times (or any newspaper ever). The record still stands.

 

• Not a single photograph, drawing, table, chart or graph was used anywhere to break up the monotony of black-and-white words, words, words.

 

• The offer: a free book from the brokerage company Merrill Lynch.

 

•  It generated over 20,000 requests for the free book. Over the life of this ad in myriad newspapers, it generated 3 million requests and brought in a ton of new investors to Merrill Lynch.

 • Here's a link to the Denny Hatch blog post that analyzes this amazing newspaper ad:

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2019/04/53-worlds-greatest-financial-services.html

To  Follow Up on Annie Reneau’s Bionic Text
Dealing with Dyslexia/ADHD, Here’s the Link.

https://www.upworthy.com/bionic-reading-could-be-a-game-changer-rp2

 

 To Turn Normal English Prose into Bionic Text,
Here’s the Link to the Free Text Converter

 

https://app.bionic-reading.com

 

And Finally… Annie Reneau’s CV

 

 

Takeaway to Consider - Meet Bo Sacks

 

 

Personal Note: A perpetual delight for me are the weekly emails of “Media Intelligence™ Heard on the Web’’ by Bo (Bob) Sacks. Bo is the ultimate Media Maven who reads everything in the fields of marketing, advertising, PR and communications and brings the best of the best — news stories, articles, provocative opinions, breakthroughs, screw-ups and glorious gossip — to my inbox during the week via  “America’s Oldest e-newsletter est. 1993.”

Bo’s wonderfully quirky Manifesto:

 

"The Industry that Vents Together Stays Together."  

 

Responses to all Articles and Bo-Rants are greatly encouraged  and may be included in " BoSacks Readers Speak Out" 

All news items and the various opinions expressed in this newsletter are not necessarily the opinion of, nor in agreement with the opinions of BoSacks. They are just interesting thoughts and other opinions that BoSacks thinks you should know about. After all, as the Japanese proverb goes: "If you believe everything you read, perhaps you better not read."

 

It was a Bo Sacks’ e-newsletter two weeks ago that introduced me to Annie Reneau.  I urge you to write Bo Sacks and get his free e-newsletter. Whether you agree or disagree, Bo is a delicious diversion —a font of information and valuable ideas.

https://www.bosacks.com

bo@bosacks.com

 

### 

Word Count: 1436