#89: Found! A Lost Bill Jayme Treasure

Issue #89 – Tuesday, April 7, 2020

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/04/89-found-lost-bill-jayme-treasure.html 
 
Posted by Denny Hatch

Found! A Lost Treasure 

By Bill Jayme 

Bill Jayme                Heikki Ratalahti

Be My Guest!

When I founded the newsletter and archive service, WHO'S MAILING WHAT! I was always open to publishing the ideas and writing of other direct marketers. Like WMW! this new blog is always open to marketing experts who have something intuitive, informative or inane to say. I am delighted to welcome this entry by Michael Feldstein—formerly a valued member of Marty Edelston's Boardroom team. To all marketers and direct marketers, this is your invitation to participate whenever you have something you want to share. I am: dennyhatch@yahoo. Thank you for subscribing... and thank you Michael Feldstein! —DH

By Michael Feldstein

One of the things I’ve had more time for since being hunkered down at home during the coronavirus outbreak is cleaning out some old files.

And while I was tossing material in the garbage can, I was lucky to come across a gem from the early 1990’s – a little-known giveaway from legendary copywriter Bill Jayme that was published by Boardroom Inc. called “20 Opinionated Answers to 20 Questions Nobody Asked.”

If I recall correctly, it was given away to prospective mailers by Boardroom’s list management group to help introduce them to Boardroom’s mailing list. And it’s a gem … filled with useful tips and written in Jayme’s inimitable style.

For those who don’t know, Bill Jayme wrote the copy for the direct mail packages of dozens of magazine that launched their products in the 1970s and 1980s, including New York Magazine, Mother Jones, Bon Appetit, Smithsonian, Food and Wine, The Harvard Health Letters, and a legion of others. His most famous envelope teaser was probably the one he wrote for Psychology Today: “Do you close the bathroom door even when you’re the only one at home?”

Psychology Today

Anyway, my strong guess is that virtually no one still has this report, and no one saved its contents online.  So as a public service to direct marketers, copywriters, and others, I’m sharing Jayme’s wisdom:

1)   Pay little heed to talk about America becoming illiterate.  First off, today’s illiterates aren’t your market (unless you sell reading courses). Second, if cockroaches, fruitcakes, and opera can survive so will the written word.

Esquire

2)   When something is free, say it six ways to Sunday (for example, “Free gift comes to you with our compliments gratis – on the house” or “It’s yours to keep as an outright present without cost or charge – not a penny!”

Fortune

3)   Get your copywriter together with your art director at the outset.  The era is over when an art director is handed a ream of finished copy with the instructions, “Here – do something with this.”

Andy Warhol's Interview Magazine

4)   These concepts should be part of every mailing package: new, free, save guaranteed, hurry.  This concept should be part of every sentence: you.

5)   Always talk up to your prospects, not down. When flattered, people almost always rise to the occasion.  When insulted, they rise to walk over to the wastebasket.

6)   Must sweepstakes prizes inevitably be a trip to Hawaii or a Winnebago camper? Why not prizes that reflect your product?  Two decades ago, we created a sweepstakes that launched New York Magazine.  First prize was dinner at Gracie Mansion so you could tell the mayor how you’d run the city.  Last prize was a one-way ticket to Los Angeles.

New York Magazine

The Prize List Above
(In Easy-to-Read Type)

 

What have you won?

A week at the Plaza?

An evening with Mayor Lindsay

at Gracie Mansion telling him

how to run the city?

A Broadway opening night

with critic Harold Clurman?

Your own park bench?

A sidewalk or penthouse tree?

Here’s the claim check

that finds out for you

All you do is mail it back.

A Charter Subscription Offering

7)   Always read your copy aloud to someone who enjoys finding fault with everything you do.

8)   Your outer envelope is where your prospect decides whether to stop, look, and listen. It’s the come-on – the headline on the ad, the dust jacket on the book, the display window outside the store, the hot pants on the hooker.

9)   Express savings in terms of money, not in percentages.  The only percentage people really understand is 50%, and even then, you’d better add, Half Off!”

10)        Check the signature on your letter.  If it looks like the handwriting of an eleven-year-old, and you’re selling financial, medical, or insurance services, consult your art director.

11)        To carry the reader over to page two, end page one in mid-sentence, not at the conclusion of a paragraph.  The ideal page break?  “They then began to remove their (continued on next page)”

12)        Photographs almost always sell better than drawings.

13)        Personalize indiscriminately at your peril.  Do you really want as a customer some boob who gets turned on by seeing his own name repeated nine times in a single page?

14)        No matter how chic sans serif type looks, never use it for body copy.  It’s unreadable

15)        So are body copy set in reverse, copy overprinted on art, and all headlines that run sideways.

16)        Never use the word “pizzazz” in a mailing.  We once headlined an outer envelope, “Put more pizzazz in your love life.”  People thought we were selling pizzas.

17)        When someone tells you that long copy outpulls short, that 6x9 envelopes outpull #10s, and that brochures no longer pay for themselves, don’t believe a word of it.  No one opens up an envelope because it’s a 6x9, or reads a letter because it’s long. People open what interests them.  They read what interests them.  They respond to what interests them

18)        Nothing more than seven words should ever be written by hand. So there, Carolyn Davis and Carol Wright.

19)        If junk mail were more fun to read and look at, fewer people might complain. Comic books, pornography, Bibles, and Kleenex all probably destroy more forests, and there’s nary a whimper.

20)        The phrase “junk mail” is here to stay.  Think of it as a term of resigned endearment, like cops and metermaids, grease monkeys and talking heads, coffin nails, the flicks, the idiot box, and my old lady. Just because you call your dog a mutt doesn’t mean that you don’t love him.

About Michael Feldstein

   Michael Feldstein is the owner and founder of MGF Marketing, a direct marketing consulting firm. He worked at Boardroom Inc. for 25 years in its marketing department, where he was part of an infomercial team that sold more than $150 million of its health book products on television. He also helped grow the circulation of Bottom Line Health from 35,000 to more than 300,000 and launched a new division selling the company's health books in Spanish, generating about 200,000 Spanish-speaking bookbuyers.

    Before he was at Boardroom, he worked at MBI Incl in its Danbury Mint and Postal Commemorative Society Division. He is currently on the Advisory Board of Target Marketing Magazine. In 2017 he was honored with the Founder's Award by the Hudson Valley Direct Marketing Association, and in 2008, he received the DMA Insert Council's annual award. He has spoken at numerous industry events about direct marketing. You can visit his website at www.mgfmarketing.com and he can be reached at michaelfeldstein@gmail.com
    

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At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press. He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 years he has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.

CONTACT
dennyhatch@yahoo.com

A Note About Denny Hatch’s Marketing Books

When North American Publishing summarily shut down its little book publishing division, all my direct marketing and business books were suddenly gone from the market. Some were available as “collector’s items” at many hundreds—and in some cases thousands!—of dollars. I have made arrangements with a Canadian marketer to republish some of these as Special Reports or White Papers. Will let you know when they are available. Thank you for your patience.

About Denny Hatch’s Novels

Meanwhile three titles are available. They are:

THE FINGERED CITY

How Mafia Marketed a Candidate

To Become Mayor of New York City

Kindle Edition: $2.99

THE STORK

A Comedy About Breeding People 
 Kindle Edition: $2.99

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