http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2024/09/204-first-100-words.html
#204 Blog
Post Wednesday 25 September 2024
Posted by Denny Hatch
"Your
First 100 Words Are More Important
Than
the Next Ten Thousand."
—Elmer "Sizzle" Wheeler
Above is
the lede of a “dry test” 8-page direct mail letter that was sent in 1979. It offered a one-year subscription to a newsletter — International
Living. The newsletter did not exist.
It
was the brainstorm
of fledgling marketing genius, Bill Bonner — a
rail-thin, six-foot-two 30-year-old advertising
copywriter — right after he underwent three catastrophic failures that left him
$70,000 in debt.
Bonner sent this "dry test" letter to a rented list of several thousand homeowners to see if anyone would read it and respond. His letter — entirely fiction — was 300% profitable on day one of returns. Wow!
Bill
immediately borrowed start-up capital, published the newsletter, and mailed
that very letter for the next 23 years.
Today Bill Bonner’s wee newsletter business — 44 years later — is called The Agora (theagora.com). It’s a mighty conglomerate of 36 global entrepreneurial companies in 15 countries around the world with revenues of over $1 billion a year!
down the road from David Ogilvy's Chateau de Toffou.
The Power of Those First 100 Words.
Take a moment to go back and look at wizardry of Bill Bonner’s first hundred words. They paint a picture of you — “Dear Reader” — waking up in a lush lifestyle enjoyed only by the very, very rich.
• In those first 100 words, “you” or “your” is used seven times.
• Your maid is bringing you your breakfast in bed while out your window overlooking the ocean your gardener is busy pruning your lemon, cherry and fig trees and amid the splendor of your gardenias, hibiscus and hollyhocks.
• And what's more, you can easily afford it, Bonner promises.
• Bill's letter is all about YOU, the reader. Absolutely nothing about Bill.
• Nowhere to be found: the words “I,” “me,” “my,” “we” or “our.”
I invite
you to download (free) Bill Bonner's legendary letter for
your swipe file. Not only is it the 8-page document that launched his $1 billion a year corporate empire, it's fascinating to read!
What's more, it could
change how you communicate with strangers. And maybe even change your life and
how you do business!
https://drive.google.com/file/d/16S8lGX0_1DaVg3jbO0EcpfgPrgxFj2Lb/view?usp=sharing
Today's Blog Post Was Triggered by This Letter Sent
To Me Last Month from a Colleague Asking my Opinion.
(Quickie Aside: the name and address above have been changed for the sake of privacy; they are fake. I never reveal sources. —DH)
• This thing is emphatically not eight pages about extraordinary benefits that will change your humdrum life into millionaire’s dream world...
• Ken Fisher’s letter is just two pages long — all about Ken Fisher, his book and his company.
• In this paltry two-page personalized lede you'd find “I” is used 5 times; “it“ four times; “we” thrice; and “our” twice.
Fisher’s
letter instantly reminded me of freelancer Ed McLean’s blockbuster letter for Newsweek
in the 1960s. The lede:
Dear Reader,
If the list upon which I found your name is any indication, this is not the first — nor will it be the last — subscription letter you receive. Quite frankly, your education and income set you apart from the general population and make you a highly rated prospect for everything from magazines to mutual funds.
It was an offbeat approach — one that both flattered the reader and, at the same time, let prospects in on how they came to receive the solicitation. Many people wrote in to ask what list they were on. A few felt it was creepy and complained.
Many
more responded by subscribing to the magazine. It was the unbeatable control
for many years and was mailed in the tens of millions.
Ken Fisher’s Preposterous Premise.
Take another look at Fisher's lede. He is saying his offer is to the “Wealthiest Americans.”
Gosh, that certainly includes Jeff Bezos (net worth 204.4 billion USD), Warren Buffett (net worth 140.9 billion USD) and Bill Gates (net worth 138.6 billion USD).
Can you imagine gazillionires Bezos, Buffet and Gates — gleefully jumping at the opportunity to acquire ("free to you") Ken Fisher’s 99 Retirement Tips? Plus his BONUS guide to Maximize Your Social Security?
Preposterous!
Takeaways to Consider:
Seven Proven Tips for Writers.
•
“Short words! Short sentences!” Short paragraphs!”
—Andrew J. Byrne
•
“Tests have shown that a sentence of eight words is very easy to read; of 11
words, easy; of 14 words, fairly easy; of 17 words, standard; of 21 words,
fairly difficult; of 25 words, difficult; of 29 or more words, very difficult;
so this sentence with 54 words, counting numbers, is ranked impossible.”
—Virginia-Pilot
•
The 7 Key Copy Drivers — emotional hot buttons that make people act:
Fear – Greed – Guilt – Anger –
Exclusivity – Salvation – Flattery
—Axel Andersson. Bob Hacker
•
“If your copy isn’t dripping with one or more of these copy drivers, tear it up
and start over.”
—Bob Hacker
•
The 13 most powerful and evocative words in the English language are:
You - Save - Money
- Guarantee - Love – Results -
Proven
–
Safety - Easy – New - Health -
Discovery – Free
—Goodman Ace
• "Avoid gray walls of type."
—David Ogilvy
•
“Type smaller than 9-point is difficult for most people to read.”
—David Ogilvy
* * * * * *
Hey Denny, glad to know you're still kicking.
ReplyDeleteWere those prices in the letter adjusted for inflation, or should I assume they're in Carter-bucks? I'm retired, but in '79 I was 17 - it was a very good year.
Chris
Chris, Thanks for writing (and reading!). Dunno what year this was mailed. Seems a bit high for Carter bucks. Cheers.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMarjory S.
ReplyDeleteSmall world. I worked with Kathleen Peddicord of Agora in Baltimore a million years ago. We were both working at a Ziff-Davis computer magazine and she left to go to Agora—probably still in her 20s. Thanks for the memory!
Marjory S.
Marjory,
Thanks for writing. Smaller world. Many moons ago I interviewed Kathleen Peddicord for a Cover Story on Bill Bonner when I ran I Target Marketing. She was a marvel. Smart as a whip. Personable. Knowledgeable. Articulate. Gave me an oh-so-high opinion of Agora Marketing (now The Agora) and Bill Bonner’s wisdom and style in building a great company from scratch by hiring world-class associates and giving them great responsibilities. —DH
FROM: Bob M.
ReplyDeleteSubject: Your First 100 Words...
Excellent... and timely. Now I am shopping for a chateau!
—Bob M.
TO: Bob M.
Love it! Did several long interviews with Bill Bonner way back for a cover story in Target Marketing, We talked about his 18th century French chateau — bought as fixer upper. Happiness to Bill was escaping his corporate world in Baltimore, jetting over to France with family, friends and colleague whereupon he would don overalls and grubby shoes to work like the dickens getting his hands dirty and calloused doing manual labor in the restoration of his beloved Chateau d’Ouzilly . At one point he mentioned being just down the road from David Ogilvy’s Chateau Touffou. He said, “I have no idea what it is that makes advertising copywriters feel the need to own a French château.”
Do keep in touch, Bob.
—DH
From Roy F... to DH
ReplyDeleteOn Sep 25, 2024, at 1:28 PM
Yes, but...
Ken Fisher built a financial services company that manages $275 billion in AUM .[assets under management — dh].. And he just sold a minority
(<30%) stake in the firm for $3 billion... With most value created through his own style of direct response marketing.
While Fisher's marketing has never had that je ne sais quoi of a Bill Bonner letter, his marketing has absolutely WORKED and you know as well as I do that he (his team) tests seven ways to Sunday. You're currently in a better position than I am to know if that particular letter is a control, but the ultimate question of the quality of that Fisher letter is, does it work today?
Roy F.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Roy,
Many thanks for taking the time to comment.
Yes, but..
Here’s the fascinating Wikipedia entry on Fisher Investments.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisher_Investments
A plea from the Wikipedia folks to the Fisher crowd:
“This article has multiple issues the Wiki folks pleaded with Fisher.Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page.
As a simple blogger I dunno what what’s going on, here. Sound fishy. (Fisher-y?...) Whatever, he's done, it’s above my pay grade.
What’s not above my pay grade is the marketing genius of a terribly classy gent (Bill Bonner) who built a $billion-dollar-a -year business starting with an 8-page junk mail letter sent to many thousands of total strangers.
Bill is not a manager of $275 billions of rich people’s money telling them what to buy, sell and hold. The big bucks are held by Ken Fisher’s investors/clients/customers. Mention Ken Fisher and I think of a biography I read of Warren Buffet who spent 80 years studying annual reports in a search for AUM that were undervalued or overvalued to bet on. That was (and is) Buffett’s whole life’s work! Tedium and gambling!
Quelle bore!
Bill Bonner, however, with his myriad interests in business and life is a Renaissance Man and a delight!
Do keep in touch!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
From: David and Ann,
ReplyDeleteHi Denny and Peggy,
I notice that articles in newspapers, which used to tie into the headline within the first paragraph, are not like that anymore.They give background first, evidently, then, eventually, tie in the headline. —D&A
Dear David and Ann,
Wonderful to hear from you. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I had not thought about this. Your observation is revolutionary! And you are SPOT ON! about great headlines and lousy ledes that turn good columns/stories into immediately ho-hum bores. A real disservice to their readers.
Two possible reasons.
1. English majors, PhDs, journeymen writers who have learned from mediocre teachers, professors and scholars that it’s imperative start with a subject’s background (babyhood to college degree) first before getting into the weeds of current life.
2. Toadying up to their favorite writers who are paid by the word.
Do stay in touch!
—DH