Tuesday, August 3, 2021

#134 Schuller's Crystal Cathedral

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/08/134-schullers-crystal-cathedral.html

#134 Blog Post - Tuesday, August 3, 2021


Posted by Denny Hatch


800-Year-Old Direct Marketing Knowhow:
Alive and Well in the Twenty-first Century

The Rev. Robert Schuller Preaching in His Crystal Cathedral

In 1998 I stumbled into the origins of direct marketing. This advertising technique came about as the result of the June 15, 1194 fire that destroyed most of Chartres Cathedral in Northern France. Chartres Bishop Regnault de Mouçon launched the very first direct mail letter-writing campaign to crowned heads, nobility and trade guilds throughout France, England and Europe—all pleading for help to rebuild the cathedral. Plus... the bishop came up with an amazing scheme to say "Thank You!" to all donors, who will be remembered for eternity. This was textbook correct marketing—800 years ago. You'll find this fascinating story in Blog Post #13:
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2018/07/13-800-year-history-of-direct-marketing.html

The Chartres Fundraising Model Was Replicated
In Garden Grove, California 800 Years Later
Dr. Robert Schuller began his Dutch Reform ministry in Chicago in 1950. He founded the Garden Grove Community Church March 27, 1955, where he preached from the roof of the refreshment stand at a drive-in movie theater that he rented for $10 a week. To drum up business, Schuller placed small ads in the Orange County Register with the headline: "WORSHIP AS YOU ARE IN THE FAMILY CAR." Seventy-five motorists showed up that first day and the take day $86.79.

After vigorous a house-to-house canvassing plus direct mail campaigns with modest success, Schuller persuaded the renowned Rev. Norman Vincent Peale to be a guest preacher. Peale's book—"The Power of Positive Thinking"—was a worldwide best-seller that sold 15 million copies in 42 languages. Peale's sermon about the personal benefits of accepting God brought national recognition to Schuller's little enterprise.

As his ministry grew, Dr. Schuller purchased 10 acres in Garden Grove and spent $3 million for a relatively modest "walk-in, drive-in" church designed by famous California modernist architect Richard Neutra (1892-1970). Dedication service was held November 5, 1961.

 

Richard Neutra's Garden Grove Community Church. At Right is the 1968 "Tower of Hope" designed by Neutra's son, Dion. The cross at the top could be seen from Disneyland in Anaheim a mile-and-a-half away.

          The Booster Rocket That Sent
          The Schuller Ministry into Orbit

On February 8, 1970, Schuller launched the "Hour of Power" television ministry—replete with choir and orchestra—at the Sunday service in his Garden Grove Community Church. Over the years it became the most-watched religious program with alleged totals of viewership ranging from a low of 1.3 million home worshipers to 7.5 million in 156 countries. Whatever the actual numbers, Schuller had himself a deliciously hefty database.

 

The Schuller Family's Edifice Complex

Left: The Crystal Cathedral. Right: Architect Philip Johnson and the Rev. Robert Schuller chatting in the vast interior.

With a burning desire for a larger venue in the late 1970s, the Schullers hired the world-renowned architectural firm of Philip Johnson and John Burgee to design the magnificent, eye-popping Chrystal Cathedral—one of America's very first megachurches.

Dedicated in 1980, the overall length of the building is 414 feet and the tower is 127 feet high. With seating capacity for 2,726 worshipers, the building also has a choir section for 1,000 singers and instrumentalists. The Aeolian-Skinner/Fratelli Ruffatti pipe organ—the fifth largest church organ in the world—has 293 ranks and 17,106 pipes. Cost of the cathedral: $18 million ($59 million in 2021 dollars). In the salad days of the 1990s, Rev. Schuller's enterprise had ten thousand members attending three services every Sunday, plus his "Hour of Power" worldwide TV program.

Saying "Thank You!" to the Donors à la Chartres
What triggered this post was the memory of our first condo in Stamford, Connecticut in 1979. Our next-door neighbors—faithful viewers of the "Hour of Power"—were persuaded to buy one of the 10,664 windows. We were invited over to view Dr. Schuller's "thank-you" gift—an elegant tabletop display (as I recall) personalized with their names and a small image of the cathedral etched into the modernist Lucite panel.

For the high rollers, Rev. Schuller created the "Walk of Faith" with 1800 inscribed granite stones, many of them mini-memorials to deceased loved ones. For lesser donors, their names were memorialized on a wall with 20,000 crystal bricks.

Here was the modern version of the 800-year-old business model devised by Bishop Regnault de Mouçon and the elders of Chartres Cathedral—the foundation of modern direct marketing.

One Wishes That the Crystal Cathedral Saga
Had as Happy an Ending as Chartres' Restoration
Dr. Schuller's Crystal Cathedral's last years were a mega soap opera: $48 million in debt; 12 million creditors nationwide; a $36 million mortgage owed to a California bank; and finally filing for bankruptcy in 2010. In 2011—four years prior to the Rev. Schuller's death from esophageal cancer—the entire church complex was sold to the Catholic Diocese of Orange County for $60 million.
Throughout this entire period, the Schuller family was engaged in a vicious circular firing squad/pissing match. Following the acquisition, all the donor names were removed from the premises.

                        Further Reading 
Renovating the Crystal Cathedral

https://www.tnemec.com/about/news-press/renovating-crystal-cathedral-orange-county/

Should Donors Be Upset About the New Crystal Cathedral Owners Removing Their Names?
https://www.philcooke.com/donors-upset-new-crystal-cathedral-owners-removing-names/ 

Obituary of Robert Schuller
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/02/robert-schuller-obit/70824954/

              Takeaways to Consider
• On driving through France one summer Peggy and I visited several churches where the original windows were blown out by Nazi bombs in World War II. Some were replaced with plain glass. Others had tacky modern designs. It was damned depressing—yet another reminder of the stupidity of war.

• At the onset of World War ii in 1939, it became obvious Chartres could be in the middle of a battle zone and subject air raids. All 176 stained glass windows—which contained the donors' coats of arms and glorious images of the guilds that contributed—were removed for safekeeping. Many were stored in the cathedral's crypt—one of the deepest and largest in northern France. The remainders were shipped by rail to safe hideouts in southern France for the duration.

• "Always say 'thank you.' It's the polite thing to do."
   —Roger Craver

• The way to be successful in direct marketing—and general advertising for that matter—become expert in successful campaigns from the past. Then—in the words of U.S. News & World Report circ director Dorothy Kerr: "Steal Smart!"

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Word count: 1046

 


Wednesday, July 21, 2021

#133 Emeril Infomercial

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/07/133-emeril-infomercial.html 

 

#133 Blog Post - Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

THE ULTIMATE TV INFOMERCIAL FOR
THE GREATEST NEW KITCHEN GADGET!

What triggered this post was Emeril Lagasse jumping out of my giant TV screen with one of the most alive, fun-filled half-hours I have spent in the past 18 months.

Even with progress in dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic—coupled with the sunny optimism of the Joe Biden team and his giving financial help and hope to the poorest, hungriest and most desperate of Americans—I still wake up most mornings with a renewed sense of dread. On my worst days—for the first time in my life—I pop an anti-anxiety pill.

May God bless Emeril, his amazing pasta making machine and the joyous half hour of entertainment he supplied. Emeril's effervescent enthusiasm is contagious as he—and his buoyant sous chef Kimberley Locke of American Idol—showed me how to create dazzling epicurean masterpieces in minutes. And for a fraction of what we are paying now.

How about this for starters: you can make a pound of pasta (enough for a dinner of 8) in four minutes for 54¢! That's the same glorious pasta served in three star Michelin restaurants across the world. With this  machine you can instantly produce all kinds of noodles and pasta: penne, spaghetti, linguine, tagliatelle, udon noodles, angel hair, fettuccine, lasagna. Plus... chopped meat, grated cheese, fruit and vegetable juices and frozen yogurt and gelatos.

A Memorable Encounter with Emeril
Back When We Were Both Starting Out

When Peggy and I took over Target Marketing magazine—on life support in 1993—we saved it by hiring Barry Futtersak, an old-time magazine space salesman to generate advertising revenue. Barry's MO: "Never take 'no' for an answer." In other words, "Do not leave a meeting without an order."

For two years Barry and I took endless trips around the country talking to potential advertisers and tracking down stories for the editors—many of which I wrote.

Barry was also a world-class bon vivant. He knew American cities inside and out—the good hotels, the new "in" restaurants and the very best jazz joints and after hours clubs.

That first year Barry and I fetched up in New Orleans having made a lunch date with a young woman whose name and product are long lost in the mists of time. Still vivid in my brain was the lunch we had at the hot new restaurant in town—Emeril's.

       Barry                   Young Emeril             Emeril's New Orleans

  Emeril Lagasse was an oh-so-young dynamo who happened to be in the foyer when we entered. He greeted us, seated us, handed us menus and tore off to work the kitchen and work the room.

 Following a truly memorable meal, when we were leaving I noticed in the entrance a table with copies of his just published New NEW ORLEANS COOKING.

I bought one and asked Emeril to autograph it to our prospective client, which he did—and added a sketch of himself in his high white toque. What an ebullient guy, marvelous chef and sheer delight! (Our young guest was thrilled with the book and became a long term advertiser!)

The TV Infomercial: It's Come a Long Way, Baby!

Before our quick tour of the delights served up by Emeril in his extraordinary advertorial, let me to share with you the very first advertorial in television history. First aired in 1950, it stars William G. "Papa" Bernard, inventor, founder and CEO of the Vitamix food processor. (Running time: 27:29.) You can give it a couple of minutes and get the idea or...
     ... if you're like me—a sucker for stunning sales pitches—you'll be riveted by Papa Bernard's presentation and want to savor more of it. You'll discover it contains the DNA of its thousands of offspring programs that have been produced, shot and aired over the past 70+ years. It's a gem!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm5IzzGPzQA  
 

 Now... to Emeril's Marvelous Infomercial That
Includes Live-Action Gourmet Cooking Lessons!


      Shrimp Dish                  Spinach Taglietelle        Pasta Primavera

• The advertorial starts with a quick, powerful two-minute commercial for all the amazing benefits of his pasta machine.

• Just as you are getting a bit bored with the pitch, Chef Emeril starts creating the shrimp dish at left. He shows you exactly what he is doing. You see the various ingredients being combined, the cooked pasta from his machine is added and a fabulous gourmet meal has been concocted in just a few minutes. It's a dazzling performance!

• Emeril said the shrimp dish (you see it here before the pasta is added) would cost $20 or more in a restaurant—$160 for a party of eight. The eight servings created here with pasta from his machine can be created for a total of $10!

• After showing you how to make a couple of  more recipes, the two-minute commercial is repeated. And before you know it he's the gourmet teacher again showing you how to make more spectacular pasta dishes.

• Among the marvelous recipes you'll learn how to master (with or without his machine) by watching this video:
— Pasta pesto
— Marinara sauce
— Mac & Cheese using freshly made noodles
— Fettuccine with prosciutto and cheese

• Quite simply Emeril is giving you a real deal—making you an expert chef—whether or not you buy his pasta machine.

• The one word that describes Emeril and his infomercial: "Mesmerizing!"

• I urge you to watch it. Cook from it. Exult in it!

• You'll love it! Guaranteed!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah53cFmOQw8&t=338s

                         Takeaways to Consider
• In the 800 years of Direct Marketing, only two long-form advertising platforms have been devised: the full-dress direct mail package and the infomercial.

• The 30-minute infomercial originated with Vitamix in 1949-50.

• A recent blog post described two of the greatest modern masters of the infomercial: Billy Mays and Ron Popeil.
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/02/85-americas-two-greatest-tv-pitchmen.html

 • Emeril gives away live-action cooking lessons—taking the advertorial into fascinating new territory!

P.S. A Personal Confession
Okay, I have not yet ordered my Emeril Pasta making machine (even though it not only makes world-class pasta, but apparently does everything a modern food processor will do at a fraction the cost of my Cuisinart). I would have gone for it in a nanosecond if we still had our house with the big kitchen. Alas, we downsized to a two-bedroom apartment with a tiny galley kitchen and minimal storage areas already stuffed with stuff. We simply haven't the space for another kitchen appliance. But I'm seriously thinking of it!

 

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Word count:1333

 


Wednesday, July 7, 2021

#132 EARGO Hearing Aids

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/07/132-eargo-hearing-aids.html


#132 Blog Post — Wednesday, July 7, 2020

Posted by Denny Hatch

The Huge Digital Ad Agency Sticks
 Its Toe in Direct Marketing Waters



















 

This email arrived three weeks ago.

• Celebrate Father's Day? I have never been a father.

• (Is this a guy thing—only for fathers? What about Mom? And single women?)

• I never heard of EARGO.

• My hearing is perfectly okay.

• Ain't no way in hell I would stick that nasty looking thing—with what appear to be bristles or wires—deep into my ears. Eeeek!

• The main headline—"$450 OFF"—instantly signals a product costing thousands of dollars.

• Because the headline was all about price, I surfed Google and discovered EARGO hearing aids cost from $1700 to slightly less than $3000.

• Suddenly I'm forced to think about spending a lot of money. 

• $450 OFF could apply to anything—a motor scooter, kitchen appliances, a travel offer or a custom-made suit.

It's Immediately Obvious this Email Was Created By Marketers That Broke the Rules of Direct Marketing

For years Seattle's Bob Hacker—retired direct marketing agency genius, impresario, and curmudgeon—has railed against general agencies that claim to be experts in direct marketing.

It took a quick five minutes on Google to discover that name of the agency responsible for this brash, rule-breaking effort—HUGE.

I was right. Huge is not a direct marketing agency. Huge is not even a general agency.

It's a digital agency.

For a Taste of This Digital Agency
Check Out the Huge Landing Page

https://www.hugeinc.com
 

Learn more. Move the cursor over to the right and click on "Mat Baxter. CEO." I think you'll find it to be disjointed and making no sense.

(Incidentally in the six days of writing this blog post, the Huge landing page was changed 3x.) 

Now Scroll Down the Landing Page

• With the huge, overpowering headline featuring Mat Baxter, I was eager to find out who he is and his experience.

•  Alas, this is the only reference to—and photo of—Max Baxter on the landing page. I had to scramble all over the Huge website to find his bio.

• Prowl the website and you'll discover an agency that all about "we," "us' and "our." I couldn't find the words "you" or "your" anywhere.

• Huge is an agency filled with people hugely full of themselves.

              Am I Being Hugely Unfair to Huge?
Just to be sure I wasn't making a huge error I Googled the Huge staff directory to see if anybody—anybody at all—had direct marketing experience. I came up drier than the Mojave Desert in mid-summer.
     Lots of award-winning campaigns, Super Bowl spots, international travel, "digitally-led thinking," high-profile strategic engagements, newsworthiness, entrepreneurialism  and (my favorite) "helping clients capitalize on the seismic shift reshaping the marketing landscape."
     Click on the staff directory and you won't find a single mention of direct marketing experience anywhere in the CVs of the 21 agency principals.

Amazingly Ergo Has Entrusted Huge to Create a Huge,
Obviously Pricy Multi-media Direct Marketing Campaign


Medium #1: email
We examined the email to me in the lede of this blog post.

Medium #2: Direct Mail
Several days later I received this six-panel self-mailer printed on card stock folded down to 6" x 9" postcard size.

Here's a sample of copy from this postcard effort:

LICENSED HEARING
PROFESSIONALS
No unnecessary doctor appointments.
Just give us a call!

VIRTUALLY INVISIBLE
So small and slick they're
hidden from view

PURE COMFORT
So sleek and smooth you'll
probably forget they're there

EXCEPTIONAL AUDIO
State-of-the-art technology for
The highest sound quality

RECHARGABLE
No batteries required:
1 charge = up to 16 hours
of hearing perfection

LIFETIME SUPPORT
Access to licensed hearing
professionals
every step of the way, forever

Medium #3: Digital Ads—Lots of Them!
Below is one of the EARGO ads that showed up on my iPad, iPhone and seemingly everywhere I wandered surfing the internet. This one was in the middle of my morning
Apple News.



Medium #4: TV and Internet—
Check Out EARGO's Condom [sic] Spot.
You read that right: Condom Spot. It might win a creativity prize, but thoroughly embarrassing—and shaming—a nice American family (as well as giving TV viewers the creepy-crawlies) will not sell hearing aids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwSqSITCLCk


                                            Takeaways to Consider
• Stan Rapp, legendary co-founder of the Rapp Collins Agency came up with the ultimate two-word definition of direct marketing: "Intimate Advertising."
 
• "Intimate Advertising" is not a brash, ballsy overpowering promise to deaf seniors to save $450.

• For starters, anybody who can afford $1700-$3000 for a hearing aid system would be far more interested in improved hearing—not saving $450.

• "Intimate" is generally a letter—in print or digital—from one writer whispering into the ear of one reader about recapturing the joyous sounds of music, theater, summer rain on the roof, waterfalls and—as E.B. White suggested—"the most beautiful sound in America, 'the tinkle of ice at twilight.' "

• "Lede with benefits. End with proof." —Gary North

• Of all the formats used in direct marketing, none has more power to generate action than the intimate me-to-you communication of a personal letter.

• For example, the most successful advertisement in the history of the world is the 777-word letter by Martin Conroy that brought in $2 billion in subscription revenue to The Wall Street Journal over the 25+ years it was mailed. (Think about it—777 words bringing in $2 billion. Why that's $25.7 million a word!)
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2019/01/37-most-successful-advertisement-in.html

• Let's say you have been assigned the task of marketing a new product (or service). Where to start?

1. Learn everything about the features and benefits of the product.

2. Get inside the head and under the skin of the person you want to reach with your message. Think how he thinks, feel what she feels. Become that person.

3. Come up with a Unique Selling Proposition (USP)—a few pithy words that instantly capture the irresistible benefits of the product—and how it stands out from the competition.
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2018/10/26-your-toughest-copywriting-challenge.html

4. Here's one for EARGO: "I can't believe it! I can hear everything for the first time in years!"

• The Huge agency writers and designers do not cause the hearts of hearing impaired seniors go pitty-pat with the benefits of hearing. Throughout their material they are fixated with the "features" of the product and show it over and over. The idea of sticking this grotesque thing deep into my ear gives me the willies. 

 • This is akin to Otto Von Bismarck's line about being served sausage right after seeing the inside of a sausage factory.

• A line of copy that gives me pause:
"No unnecessary doctor appointments. Just give us a call!"

• Why do the EARGO folks crap on doctors, calling them "unnecessary?"

• It seems to me the enthusiastic support, partnership and prescriptions of doctors would be a huge benefit to customers... and to EARGO.

• Put another way, if EARGO seems to be doing an end run around the medical profession, something must be wrong with the product.

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Word count: 1069

Thursday, June 17, 2021

#131 Kantar Excellence Awards

http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2021/06/131-kantar-excellence-awards.html

#131 Blog Post — Thursday, June17, 2017

Posted by Denny Hatch

 

A Scheme to Give Awards to the Worst
TV, Internet & Digital Commercials of 2020

    The World's Most Creative and Effective Ads
"Great advertising needs to drive short term sales and build your brand in the long term. We analysed over 10,000 ads we tested in 2020 to identify the best ads.
     "Kantar's Creative Effectiveness Awards are the only advertising awards judged by consumers. They celebrate winning ads that are both creative and effective: advertising that is distinctive and helps drive sales in the short term and creates meaningful impressions to build brands in the long term."
—Kanter Intro


Below Are the 20 Winning Kantar
"Creative Effectiveness Awards 2021"


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD6r53DWxwk

 


 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nemoQhysUH8





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAFL7J2WPAc





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTdwHRf28zY

 




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVwirX7Nom





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAC2Q-FMMns



 

 

 

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/ZFut/google-find-your-scene-song-by-hall-and-oates

 




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y71F7wUyyPk

 




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SqcViUYeZI





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-eYXLMe_9E




https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=6pKyIY41Yjw&feature=youtu.be





 

UNAVAILABLE





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KChk_DDgzKg

 




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXKB3aISYYY

 




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2ju7lSc_RM

 






UNAVAILABLE





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3730gNVAN0





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGDWMTtBzgk



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_mp960ayzs




 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxtxrNs7dFU


                            Takeaways to Consider
• I have 60 years' experience in direct marketing—a.k.a. accountable advertising and precise arithmetic. These ads are all manic and as unfocused as a giant Social Media cocktail party.


• All these ads are not judged on sales success. They were chosen by consumers who voted on their likeability.


• There is absolutely no way in hell to track the amount of product moved as a result of these ads. Not one of 'em can be judged on ROI.

• These are emphatically NOT "effective" ads.


• "Your job is to sell, not entertain."
   —Jack Maxson


• "I can't judge good marketing. It judges me. If can be shown to generate revenue and good ROI, it's good Advertising." —DH


• "Every time we get creative, we lose money."
   —Ed McCabe, President, RCA Record Club


• A personal aside.  As editor and publisher of the WHO'S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service, I was invited to be a judge of the Direct Marketing Association's ECHO Awards. This was heady stuff for me—a little industry squirt hobnobbing with the world's top agency executives and creative directors. We gathered at DMA headquarters in the Sour Apple to study and vote our choices for the best direct mail efforts of the year.
     I knew the most successful direct mail every year. My business was analyzing 1,800+ mailings a month and highlighting for my readers those that kept coming in over and over again—year after year. These repeats were the big winners—generating buckets of loot for the mailers (and for the copywriters if they were working on royalty basis).
     My great friend and mentor, guru Axel Andersson—was an equally avid student of direct mail as I. One day he called me from Florida with an amazing discovery. He had analyzed the prior year's ECHO winners and discovered only two percent of them were ever mailed a second time. That meant 98% of all the ECHO winners were failures—simply flash and filigree. It turned out ECHO was a sad-sack scheme among industry creatives to give each other awards for the trophy cases in their corporate waiting rooms. The object: to impress gullible prospective clients.
     I resigned from the committee. I was a nitwit to have become involved.


• "Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every old asshole gets one."
   —Charlotte Rampling, "The Swimming Pool," 2003.

  

                        Now What?
First off, I urge you to sign up for Kantar's fat, fascinating PDF report on the 2021 Awards. It's free. No cost. No obligation.
https://www.kantar.com/campaigns/creative-effective

 

What do you think about these ads and this business model? I believe readers of this cranky blog would love to have your take on the program—and awards in general.

I invite you to share your thoughts. Am I nuts—an ancient curmudgeon who believes advertising should make money? Do take a moment. Scroll down to the Comment Section below and have at me!

 

If you find getting into the Comment Section too onerous, send me your thoughts and I will enter them for you. I am: dennyhatch@yahoo.com.

Thank you.

Cheers.


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