Tuesday, September 22, 2020

#109 The Weirdest Letter

 http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/09/109-weirdest-letter.html

 #109 Blog Post - Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Posted by Denny Hatch

 The Weirdest Letter Ever Received




Peggy handed me this thing the other day.

It was a notice that Henry—a dear friend of 25 years and one-time neighbor across the street—had failed to pay his $3294 long term care insurance premium.

The letter lede:

     The above mentioned individual has provided your name and address
     in order for this notice to be sent to you. The purpose is to inform or
     remind you that the policy is in danger of lapsing.

Hun?

I turned this bizzarro letter over to see what was on the back. 

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 

PAYMENT EXPLANATION

 

FOR LONG TERM CARE INSURANCE POLICIES: 

 

PLEASE RETURN THE BOTTOM PORTION OF THIS BILL WITH YOUR CHECK MADE PAYABLE TO CONTINENTAL CASUALTY COMPANY IN THE RETURN ENVELOPE PROVIDED. 

 

THE PREMIUM DUE MUST BE PAID TO CONTINENTAL CASUALTY COMPANY OR TO THE AUTHORIZED COLLECTOR INDICATED ON THE ENCLOSED RETURN ENVELOPE. PAYMENTS MUST BE RECEIVED WITHIN THE GRACE PERIOD PROVIDED IN THE POLICY. 

 

IF WE DO NOT RECEIVE THE PREMIUM DUE, THE POLICY MAY LAPSE AND THE POLICY MAY BE FORFEITED AND VOID EXCEPT AS OTHERWISE PROVIDED IN THE POLICY. 

 

PAYMENT MAY BE MADE BY CHECK, BANK DRAFT, OR MONEY ORDER. 

 

YOUR AGENT DOES NOT HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO EXTEND THE TIME FOR PAYING ANY PREMIUM, TO WAIVE FORFEITURE, OR ALTER THE TERMS OR CONDITIONS OF ANY POLICY. 

 

THIRD PARTY NOTICE

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO OUR POLICY HOLDERS REGARDING THIRD PARTY NOTICE: 

 

IN ORDER TO HELP PROTECT YOUR VALUABLE LONG TERM CARE COVERAGE, WE OFFER YOU THE OPTION TO DESIGNATE A FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND TO BE A THIRD PARTY DESIGNEE. THIS THIRD PARTY DESIGNEE WOULD RECEIVE COPIES OF ANY LATE PAYMENT NOTICES. 

 

THE DESIGNATED PERSON WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP YOU TAKE STEPS TO PREVENT YOUR LONG TERM CARE POLICY FROM LAPSING DUE TO NON-PAYMENT OF PREMIUM. 

 

PLEASE FILL OUT THE FORM BELOW IF YOU DECIDE TO ADD, CHANGE, UPDATE OR REMOVE A THIRD PARTY DESIGNEE ON YOUR LTC POLICY. THE THIRD PARTY DESIGNEE MAY TERMINATE HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITIES AT ANY TIME BY SUBMITTING A WRITTEN NOTICE TO YOU, THE POLICYHOLDER AND TO THE CONTINENTAL CASUALTY COMPANY. THE POLICY HOLDER MAY REMOVE, ADD, OR CHANGE THE THIRD PARTY DESIGNEE AT ANYTIME BY SENDING A WRITTEN REQUEST TO THE CONTINENTAL CASUALTY COMPANY, PO BOX 64912, ST. PAUL, MN 55164-0912. THE THIRD PARTY DESIGNEE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR PREMIUM PAYMENT. 

 

 Policyholder Address/Name Change  Third Party to be removed  I elect not to have a Third Party Designee  I elect the following to be a Third Party Designee 

 

Name: ­­­______________________________________________

 

Address: _________City: ___________State.: ____Zip:.______

 

Policy Number _____Policyholder's Phone Number:. ________ 

 

Policyholder's Signature:. ______________________________ 


= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

               I have seen a lot of insurance offers; never one like this.
Thirty-three years ago Peggy and I started WHO'S MAILING WHAT! — a newsletter and archive service about direct mail for direct marketers. We used to receive mail from correspondents around the country

     Average month's net (non-dupes): 1,800 mailings.

     Multiply that out over 30 years and it's 650,000 mailings.

     In all those years, the above is the weirdest, eeriest, strangest, most whacked-out letter I have ever seen.

             Why would an insurance company send Peggy such a letter?
     My initial opinion was the insurance industry is in crisis and desperate for loot.

     • Since the beginning of the year, there have been nearly 7,900 wildfires that have burned over 3.4 million acres in California alone. Since August 15, when California's fire activity elevated, there have been at least 25 fatalities and nearly 5,400 structures destroyed. Plus thousands more in Washington and Oregon.

     • As of September 19th, 6.7 million cases of Covid-19 with 384,687 hospitalizations and 191,303 deaths have been recorded.

     • Shaking our heads in wonderment, Peggy emailed Henry's wife and asked if we should pay the $3294.59 premium.

From Henry's wife to Peggy:
     Wow that is weird. Henry's CNA renewal was lost in the mail and
     they sent us a duplicate Which I paid this week. I will have Henry
     call CNA to fix this problem. Please ignore.

Still mystified, I emailed Henry's wife the text of the above CNA letter in red and black:

The above mentioned individual has provided your name and address in order for this notice to be sent to you. The purpose is to inform or remind you that their policy is in danger of lapsing. Please know that you are under no obligation to pay this amount, however this friend or family member requests that you contact them regarding the status of this overdue premium payment. In order to prevent this this policy from being lapsed, we must receive the premium no later than 30 calendar days from the date at the top of this notice. If you have questions, please call the toll free Policy Owner Services number listed above.

Quick question: The two lines in red: TRUE OR FALSE?

Her Response:
True. I'd forgotten that I gave them Peggy's name as backup in case I failed to pay my bill. Presumably when she got my late payment notice she would notify me to pay the bill. You notified me, and I paid, so it all works.

Okay. BUT NOBODY TOLD PEGGY!

                                    Takeaways to Consider
•Insurance is something you spend a ton of money on and hope you never collect.

We have bought a lot of insurance over the years—automobile, health (including long term care), homeowner's, renter's, liability, travel, etc.—as well as studying hundreds of mail order insurance promotions. I have never seen anything like this.

My opinion: the folks at CNA are chumps. Quite simply they dropped the ball by not thinking through the offer and confusing the hell out of—and sending shock waves through—two of Henry's best friends. (Were they okay? Have they gone broke and are cutting back by cancelling their health policy?

• In short, you have to think through every possible contingency when you make an offer. In this case, either CNA or Henry should have mentioned to Peggy that she was involved in this transaction.

• Here's a true story about a marketing screw-up by the chumps in one of the major airlines—I don't remember which one.
     Prior to the era of frequent-flyer miles, the airline's agency came up with the idea to take advantage of the revolutionary new techniques of (then) leading-edge computer razzle-dazzle—the ability to create personalized and signed letters—Trompe l'oeil. They looked like the real deal. These could not only include the person's name, address and personalized salutation ("Dear Mr. & Mrs. Sample"), but also adding individual information about that person in the body of the letter to show how much the airline cared.
     Why not write a letter to all recent passengers thanking them for flying with the airline and include a temporary membership card for admission to the airline club lounge at the local airport? the agency reasoned. This might generate some club memberships and some travel business. The airline marketing VP loved the idea and gave the green light. The personalized letter went something like this.

     Dear Mr. & Mrs. Sample,
     We were delighted that you chose (name of airline) for your
     recent trip to Las Vegas...

     One not-so-small problem surfaced.

     This warm, fuzzy letter arrived in homes across the country and a lot of Mrs. Samples opened it. (It was addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Sample.)

     In a number of instances, the "Mrs. Sample" who flew to Vegas with Mr. Sample was NOT the real Mrs. Sample, but rather another lady. 

     Oops.

     Instead of database wizardry, a marketing catastrophe ensued. Divorces. Lawsuits. Ugly. Ugly.

      So, yes, you own your customers. But you have to be damn careful what you say to them!

 

                     😁  (PERSONAL CONFESSION) 😁
      Any Time I hear the word “insurance” I think
        of Woody Allen in Take the Money and Run
Allen was on a chain gang with a bunch of other prisoners and incurred the wrath of the boss. As special punishment he was consigned to three days in a black hole with an insurance salesman. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfUQzppLyDM

      

 

                                                ###

 Word count: 1308

 You Are Invited to Meet Denny Hatch: http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2020/03/87-geezer-fast-yoga.html

At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press. He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletter and archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 years he has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.

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8 comments:

  1. I think of that scene quite often, especially around insurance salespersons. I remember laughing out loud in the movie theater. Pure young Woody Allen genius. Nice article, Denny, as always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Doug,

      Thanks for taking the time to comment. Those early Woody Allen movies were hoot. Worth looking at again during our lockdown.

      Do keep in touch.

      Delete
  2. From Denny Hatch. . .
    Fascinating insight from a dear friend in New England:
    The range of topics you cover in you blog fascinates me. As I was reading the latest one, I realized that my long-term care policy has the same provision . . . to notify someone else if I don't pay the premium . . . and I had no recollection whether or not I'd designated someone, and if so, who it was!! I can easily see how this happens. You give someone's name just to get the whole thing signed and sealed so you don't have to think about it any more . . . and then, because the possibility seems so remote, you forget that you really should tell the person. Asking them even better.

    So I just dug out the policy and found that I'd declined that option. That was 15 years ago . . . . might be time to rethink it before my memory totally deserts me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Howdy, Denny!

    Well, at least, given that CNA chose to use ALL-CAPS for the bulk of the body of the letter, probably hardly anybody had the stamina to read through it!

    Believe it or not, a lot of lawyers think ALL-CAPS is a good way to emphasize their important statements!

    Best regards!

    Tim Orr

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tim,

      Thank you for taking the time to weigh in. I admit this was not a particularly fascinating post. But this stuff should be covered, because many marketers—especially in the business arena—manage to confuse consumers. They don’t think things through.

      I never know what to make of lawyers. Often their communications are so convoluted and complex as to be indecipherable. Which is why they are so highly paid.

      In short, I do not find them helpful.

      Do keep in touch.

      Delete
    2. Quite the opposite, Denny. It was fascinating.

      Delete
  4. This is NOT a marketing communication, it is a collection department communication. They don’t work with customers. In their minds they work with deadbeats. The only thing they care about is getting “their money”.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BINGO! The Takeaway here: Do not allow fulfillment clerks to communicate with your customers. Have on staff a world class, sensitive, thinking, literate TRAINED copywriter or copy consultant to look over everything that goes out to prospects, customers, stockholders, directors and anyone else using your letterhead (including the CEO and VPs whose writing skills were honed on theses for their MBAs. Thanks, Bob.

      Delete