#210 Blog Post. Wednesday, 7 May 2025
https://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2025/05/210-ipromote-email.html
Posted by Denny Hatch
Meet Joe Parker of iPromote AI Digital Advertising.
His Email Pitch to Me Contains Five Copy Blunders.
In early March a total stranger, Joe Parker, sent me a short email touting
a "digital advertising program." I skimmed it and curious, I sent him a
four-word reply: "Whatcha got in mind?" Below is his follow up email.
(Can you identify the 5 email copy blunders?)
From: <jparker@ipromote.com>
Subject: Re: You're a tough nut to crack!
Date: March 28, 2025, at 12:40:44 PM EDT
To: Denny Hatch <dennyhatch@yahoo.com>
I’m not sure if it’s relevant, but,
iPromote is a comprehensive digital advertising
platform designed to simplify and automate online advertising for SMBs.
Leveraging advanced machine learning
and AI, the platform enables rapid
ad creation and distribution across multiple
digital channels, including search,
display, OTT/CTV, social, mobile, and
unique channels like Yelp review ads.
Currently running over 30,000 campaigns
for more than 2,500 advertisers,
iPromote empowers resellers to sell digital
advertising efficiently and at scale
through its innovative Demand Side
Platform.
The platform’s technology removes traditional advertising barriers, allowing
businesses to create, target, and launch sophisticated ad campaigns in minutes
with minimal effort. By partnering with large SMB-facing organizations,
iPromote
offers a white-label solution that enables partners to manage their
own pricing
and drive high margins while delivering cost-effective, targeted
advertising
solutions directly on major web platforms.
Are you doing anything for advertising right now?
(Word Count: 145)
Joe Parker's Five Email Blunders.
Blunder #1: The Hostile Unfriendly Salutation.
Subject: “Re: You’re
a tough nut to crack!”
My thoughts: Huh? Have I ever heard of this guy? I queried my
Dropbox and subscriber list for "Joe Parker" and came up 0/0
everywhere. This total stranger's very first words accused me
of being an uppity son of a bitch. I stayed around to see what
made him tick.
Blunder #2: His Textbook-stupid, self-deprecating Lede:
“I’m
not sure it’s relevant, but...”
Joe Parker is confessing he has no idea who I am, what I do or if
his product will benefit me in any way. His
business model appears
to be throwing AI excrement against the wall to see if any of it
sticks. My immediate thought: “If you
don’t know whether you’re
relevant to my needs or wants, you’re bloody wasting my time."
Blunder #3: Gobbledygook AI Message.
His message: a confusing-as-all-hell
lecture about an
indecipherable product or service filled with concepts and
high-techie shorthand way above my pay grade: e.g., online
advertising for SMBs. Leveraging
advanced machine learning
and AI, the platform enables rapid ad creation and
distribution
across multiple digital channels, including search, display,
OTT/CTV,
social, mobile, and unique channels like Yelp review ads....
yada,
yada, yada.” Huh?
Blunder #4. It's Total Ego trip by Joe Parker All about Himself.
Joe
Parker listed a litany of features way above my pay grade without
explaining a single benefit to me.
Blunder#5: No offer. Ergo, No reason to
respond.
Bob Hacker’s Inviolable Direct Marketing Dictum.
“The prospect doesn’t give a damn
about you, your product or your
service. All that matters is: WHAT’S IN IT FOR
ME?”
(AKA: “Always listen to W-I-I–FM.”)
The Exquisite Lede Paragraphs of Three Direct
Mail Letters That Worked Like Gangbusters!
They grabbed readers by the throat and they kept reading... and
reading... and reading... until they ordered. And boy-oh-boy, did
they order! These letters — and the copywriters — are legendary!
#1. Ed McLean's Involving Copy Wizardry for Newsweek.
Below are
the first four paragraphs of copywriter Ed McLean’s 1959
Newsweek subscription
offer. It was mailed for 17 straight years,
outperformed many dozens of
tests against it and brought in millions
of dollars in subscription revenue.
Dear Reader,
If the list upon which I found
your name is
any indication, this is not the first -- nor will
it be the last –
subscription letter you receive.
Quite frankly, your education and income set
you
apart from the general population and make you a
highly-rated prospect for
everything from magazines
to mutual funds.
You’ve undoubtedly 'heard everything' by now
in the way of promises and premiums. I won't try to
top any of them.
Nor will I insult your intelligence.
If you subscribe to Newsweek, you won't get rich
quick. You won't bowl over friends and business
associates with clever remarks
and sage comments after
your first copy of Newsweek arrives. (Your
conversation
will benefit from a better understanding of the
events
and forces of our era, but that's all. Wit and wisdom
are gifts...
times on the first page alone. McLean's letter was so successful it
changed the second banana, Newsweek, into a powerful competitor
of Henry Luce's cash cow, TIME.
Newsletter Idea, International Living.
advertising copywriter who underwent three catastrophic failures
that left him $70,000 in debt.
Bonner sent this
"dry test" letter to rented lists of homeowners
to
see if anyone would be turned on by International Living and
respond. His product — International Living — was entirely fiction
and existed inside Bonner's head. Bonner's letter was
300%
profitable on day one of returns. Wow!
Bill immediately
borrowed start-up capital, published the newsletter,
and mailed that very
letter for the next 23 years.
Today Bill Bonner’s non-existent newsletter business — 44 years
later — is called The Agora. It’s a mighty conglomerate of 36 global
entrepreneurial publishing companies in 15 countries around the
world with
revenues of over $1 billion a year!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The Most Successful Advertisement
In the History of the World. No Kidding.
Click on the Blue Headlines Below for the Complete Letters.
#1: Ed McLean's Newsweek Letter (Mailed for 17 Years.)
https://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2022/05/156-blog-post-mclean-letter.html
#2: Bill Bonner's Letter for International Living
https://drive.google.com/file/d/16S8lGX0_1DaVg3jbO0EcpfgPrgxFj2Lb/view
#3: Martin Conroy's Wall Street Journal Letter:
"The Most Successful Advertisement in World History."
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2019/01/37-most-successful-advertisement-in.html
Takeaways to Consider
Elmer "Sizzle Wheeler's Wisdom: “The first 100 words are more
important than the next ten thousand words."
—Direct mail consultants and printers will work hard to convince you to
spend big bucks to invest in elegant, expensive-as-the-dickens
sophisticated computerization so all your direct mail efforts will look
like personally typed letters and envelopes.
—All three of the above letters that brought huge revenue were
printed en masse. The salutation on all three of these letters was
mass printed... "Dear Reader."
Rule #2: See Rule #1.
A Riveting Rave Review of Denny Hatch's Masterpiece.
By Oluchi Samuel
10 December 2024
An official OnlineBookClub.org review of Method Marketing by Denny Hatch.]
5 out of 5 Stars
To
make a lot of profit, business owners need to understand and employ
marketing. As the name implies, Method Marketing by Denny Hatch is a
book that educates readers on method marketing. The author also shares
the stories of some people who employed method marketing.
Marketing
is the business of acquiring customers and continually thrilling them.
Method marketing, on the other hand, is the ability to get inside the
heads and under the skin of the people you are marketing your product
to. Direct mail is the largest advertising medium, and it is the medium a
lot of method marketers build their businesses on. The author shared
the stories of some marketers with huge businesses. These marketers were
Father Bruce Ritter, Martin Edelston, John Peterman, Bill Bonner, Bob
Shnayerson, Curt Strohacker, David Oreck, and William Kennedy. They
owned businesses like The Boardroom, J. Peterman Company, Agora
Publishing, The Eastwood Company, The Oreck Corporation, and Western
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This is a wonderful book with lots of great
lessons in marketing. I loved that the author shared some successful
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venturing into these businesses could learn a great deal from these
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Oreck Company.
Copywriting is a business venture I have been
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For all these reasons, I rate this book 5 out of 5 stars.
It is an amazing book that all marketers should read. There was
absolutely nothing to dislike. I found one error, showing that it was
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Method Marketing by Denny Hatch
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###
I’m not interested in marketing, but I learn something interesting from each of your blogs
ReplyDeleteDear Puzzled Optimist, thanks for your kind words. Googled you, your blog looks interesting. Could not find a way to subscribe, alas. Thank you again. Do keep in touch! —DH
DeleteHowdy, Denny!
ReplyDeleteYup, another one who thinks you'll respond favorably to being baffled by bullshit! Unfortunately, a certain number of people do respond to this appeal. They are the ones so ignorant and insecure they are terrified of missing out (TOMO? Instead of FOMO?).
They figure whoever can say things they don't understand must know more than they do. Probably too much trouble to follow this guy, but my bet is he'll be long gone – maybe selling used cars – in six months!
Or, a captain of the advertising industry!
Best regards!
Tim Orr
Tim, great hearing from you! Been too long. Your BBB line (being baffled by bullshit) is spot on and terrific. Love it. Do keep in touch!
Delete—DH
From long-time subscriber, David Amkraut:
ReplyDeleteHow could I not agree with everything in the article. I get incomprehensible Email and letters like this every day, as I’m sure you do.
In my experience, many engineers, computer geeks, and the like, are not capable of writing like human beings. There’s a lot of anecdotal evidence that such groups include a fair percentage of members who are on the autism spectrum to some extent. (But high-functioning, of course.) Maybe that’s part of it.
I had a very good English teacher in high school. When he retired (who can deal with teenagers for decades?) he got a job with a big Silicon Valley company, teaching its engineers how to write like human beings. And he found it challenging.
In passing, my own profession, law, suffers from a similar problem of incomprehensible writing. Using technical terms unknown to a non-attorney reader is one problem. Then there are double and triple negatives, page-long paragraphs, and on and on. I’ve seen plenty of writing that is off the scales for the Gunning Fog Index or the Flesch or other measurements of readability. A certain number of lawyers emerge from law school thinking big words help impress. They are
are incapable of saying “Use” rather than “Utilize. ”The top legal writers, in contrast, know how to make things so simple that a lay person or even a dull judge can get it. I like having a 12-year-old or two read what I have written and give me feedback on what was clear and what needed reworking.
You would enjoy the brief writing of a former acquaintance of mine. He boiled confusion down to an art form. To me, when one cites a case as authority, one says it is “the same as” or “similar to” or “on all fours with” the present case. My friend would always say, “Our case is not inapposite with Case A.” Well, “apposite” means alike, and is therefore the opposite of “opposite.” Therefore, “inapposite” means different from. And therefore “not inapposite” means “the same.” Got all that? Why can’t he say “the same” rather than “not inapposite?”
Keep up the good work.
David Amkraut
FROM DH: Great comment, David. Thank you, thank you.