Monday, May 5, 2025

#210 iPromote email


 #210 Blog Post.   Wednesday, 7 May 2025 

https://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2025/05/210-ipromote-email.html

 

Posted by Denny Hatch 


Meet Joe Parker of iPromote AI Digital Advertising.
His Email Pitch to Me Contains Five Copy Blunders.


 
Backstory:
In early March a total stranger, Joe Parker, sent me a short email touting
a "digital advertising program." I skimmed it and curious, I sent him a
four-word reply: "Whatcha got in mind?" Below is his follow up email.
      (Can you identify the 5 email copy blunders?)

From: <jparker@ipromote.com>
Subject: Re: You're a tough nut to crack!
Date:
March 28, 2025, at 12:40:44 PM EDT
To: Denny Hatch  <dennyhatch@yahoo.com>


I’m not sure if it’s relevant, but, iPromote is a comprehensive digital advertising
platform designed to simplify and automate online advertising for SMBs.
Leveraging advanced machine learning and AI, the platform enables rapid
ad creation and distribution across multiple digital channels, including search,
display, OTT/CTV, social, mobile, and unique channels like Yelp review ads.
Currently running over 30,000 campaigns for more than 2,500 advertisers,
iPromote empowers resellers to sell digital advertising efficiently and at scale
through its innovative Demand Side Platform.

The platform’s technology removes traditional advertising barriers, allowing
businesses to create, target, and launch sophisticated ad campaigns in minutes
with minimal effort. By partnering with large SMB-facing organizations, iPromote
offers a white-label solution that enables partners to manage their own pricing
and drive high margins while delivering cost-effective, targeted advertising
solutions directly on major web platforms.

 

Are you doing anything for advertising right now?

 

(Word Count: 145)

                        Joe Parker's Five Email Blunders.

Blunder #1: The Hostile Unfriendly Salutation.
Subject: “Re: You’re a tough nut to crack!

My thoughts:
Huh? Have I ever heard of this guy? I queried my
Dropbox and subscriber list for "Joe Parker" and came up 0/0
everywhere. This total stranger's very first words accused me
of being an uppity son of a bitch. I stayed around to see what
made him tick.

Blunder #2: His Textbook-stupid, self-deprecating Lede:
“I’m not sure it’s relevant, but...”
Joe Parker is confessing he has no idea who I am, what I do or if
his product will benefit me in any way. His business model appears
to be throwing AI excrement against the wall to see if any of it
sticks. My immediate thought: “If you don’t know whether you’re
relevant to my needs or wants, you’re bloody wasting my time."


Blunder #3: Gobbledygook AI Message.
His message: a confusing-as-all-hell lecture about an
indecipherable product or service filled with concepts and
high-techie shorthand way above my pay grade: e.g., online
advertising for SMBs. Leveraging advanced machine learning
and AI, the platform enables rapid ad creation and distribution
across multiple digital channels, including search, display, OTT/CTV,
social, mobile, and unique channels like Yelp review ads....
yada, yada, yada.” 
Huh?


Blunder #4. It's Total Ego trip by Joe Parker All about Himself.
Joe Parker listed a litany of features way above my pay grade without
explaining a single benefit to me.


Blunder#5: No offer.
Ergo, No reason to respond.

Bob Hacker’s Inviolable Direct Marketing Dictum.
“The prospect doesn’t give a damn about you, your product or your
service. All that matters is: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?”

(AKA: “Always listen to W-I-I–FM.”)

The Exquisite Lede Paragraphs of Three Direct 
Mail Letters That Worked Like Gangbusters!
They grabbed readers by the throat and they kept reading... and
reading... and reading... until they ordered. And boy-oh-boy, did
they order! These letters — and the copywriters — are legendary!


#1. Ed McLean's Involving Copy Wizardry for Newsweek.
Below are the first four paragraphs of copywriter Ed McLean’s 1959
Newsweek subscription offer. It was mailed for 17 straight years,
outperformed many dozens of tests against it and brought in millions
of dollars in subscription revenue.  

 


  

 

 

Dear Reader,

      If the list upon which I found your name is
any indication, this is not the first -- nor will
it be the last – subscription letter you receive.
Quite frankly, your education and income set you
apart from the general population and make you a
highly-rated prospect for everything from magazines
to mutual funds.

 

    You’ve undoubtedly 'heard everything' by now
in the
way of promises and premiums. I won't try to
top any of them.

  

   Nor will I insult your intelligence.

 

   If you subscribe to Newsweek, you won't get rich
quick.  You won't bowl over friends and business
associates
with clever remarks and sage comments after
your first copy
of Newsweek arrives. (Your conversation
will benefit from a
better understanding of the events
and forces of our era,
but that's all. Wit and wisdom
are gifts..
.

 
 
                     One Possible Secret for McLean's Success: 
The number of times "you" and "your" were used — more than 20
times on the first page alone. McLean's letter was so successful it
changed the second banana, Newsweek, into a powerful competitor
of Henry Luce's cash cow, TIME.

 
#2. Bill Bonner's Irresistible Lede for His
   Newsletter Idea, International Living.
 
               
 
 

 
 
    In 1977 Bill Bonner was a rail-thin, six-foot-two, 30-year-old
    advertising copywriter who underwent three catastrophic
failures
    that left him $70,000 in debt.
 

    Bonner sent this "dry test" letter to rented lists of homeowners 
    to see if anyone would be turned on by International Living and
    respond. His product — International Living — was entirely fiction
    and existed inside Bonner's head. Bonner's letter was 300%
    profitable on day one of returns. Wow!
 


    Bill immediately borrowed start-up capital, published the newsletter,
    and mailed that very letter for the next 23 years. 

 

    Today Bill Bonner’s non-existent newsletter business — 44 years
    later — is called The Agora. It’s a mighty conglomerate of 36 global
    entrepreneurial publishing companies in 15 countries around the
    world
with revenues of over $1 billion a year!

 

=  = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 

    

The Most Successful Advertisement
In the History of the World. No Kidding.

 




Click on the Blue Headlines Below for the Complete Letters.

   

 #1: Ed McLean's Newsweek Letter (Mailed for 17 Years.)
    https://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2022/05/156-blog-post-mclean-letter.html
  
                

 #2: Bill Bonner's Letter for International Living
     
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/16S8lGX0_1DaVg3jbO0EcpfgPrgxFj2Lb/view


  #3: Martin Conroy's Wall Street Journal Letter:
    "The Most Successful Advertisement in World History."

     http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2019/01/37-most-successful-advertisement-in.html  

     

                                                    Takeaways to Consider

             Elmer "Sizzle Wheeler's Wisdom: “The first 100 words are more
            important than the next ten thousand words."

            —Direct mail consultants and printers will work hard to convince you to
              spend big bucks to invest in elegant, expensive-as-the-dickens
              sophisticated computerization so all your direct mail efforts will look
              like personally typed letters and envelopes.

            —All three of the above letters that brought huge revenue were
               printed en masse. The salutation on all three of these letters was
               mass printed... 
"Dear Reader."
              

 

Mal Decker's Inviolable Rules for Successful Direct Marketing:
Rule #1: Test everything.
Rule #2: See Rule #1.
 
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

 A Riveting Rave Review of Denny Hatch's Masterpiece.

By Oluchi Samuel
10 December 2024

An official OnlineBookClub.org review of Method Marketing by Denny Hatch.]

               5 out of 5 Stars

To make a lot of profit, business owners need to understand and employ marketing. As the name implies, Method Marketing by Denny Hatch is a book that educates readers on method marketing. The author also shares the stories of some people who employed method marketing.

Marketing is the business of acquiring customers and continually thrilling them. Method marketing, on the other hand, is the ability to get inside the heads and under the skin of the people you are marketing your product to. Direct mail is the largest advertising medium, and it is the medium a lot of method marketers build their businesses on. The author shared the stories of some marketers with huge businesses. These marketers were Father Bruce Ritter, Martin Edelston, John Peterman, Bill Bonner, Bob Shnayerson, Curt Strohacker, David Oreck, and William Kennedy. They owned businesses like The Boardroom, J. Peterman Company, Agora Publishing, The Eastwood Company, The Oreck Corporation, and Western Monetary Consultants. He shared their stories, how they started their businesses, and he also dropped points for marketers to pick up from their experiences.

This is a wonderful book with lots of great lessons in marketing. I loved that the author shared some successful marketers' experiences. He used these stories to educate us. He discussed how they started their businesses and some of the mistakes they made along the way. These real-life stories made me understand his lessons quite well. I appreciated them. Readers who are planning on venturing into these businesses could learn a great deal from these stories. The author also exposed me to some businesses I hadn't heard of before, like The Teaching Company, Agora Publishing, Quest/77, and The Oreck Company.

Copywriting is a business venture I have been meaning to start. Luckily for me, I got the opportunity to read this book. The author showed the significance of copywriting and also shared tips on how to write a great copy. It gave me insights and taught me how good a copy should be written. The story of the First Bank of Troy was one of the stories I loved. The president of the bank, Frank O. Brock, operated a customer-friendly business. He paid personal attention to all his customers. He would go over lists of customers and call or give personal notes to them at least once a month. As a novice in marketing, I appreciated the appendix the author added at the end of the book. It saved me a lot of trips to the dictionary.

For all these reasons, I rate this book 5 out of 5 stars. It is an amazing book that all marketers should read. There was absolutely nothing to dislike. I found one error, showing that it was professionally edited. I recommend it to marketers and people planning on venturing into marketing, as it contains a lot of tips to flourish in marketing.

                                     
Method Marketing by Denny Hatch
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
The first 31 pages Free.
| on Amazon 


Click Here for Your Free Sample from Amazon
No Risk, No Cost, No Obligation.

 

###

5 comments:

  1. I’m not interested in marketing, but I learn something interesting from each of your blogs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Puzzled Optimist, thanks for your kind words. Googled you, your blog looks interesting. Could not find a way to subscribe, alas. Thank you again. Do keep in touch! —DH

      Delete
  2. Howdy, Denny!

    Yup, another one who thinks you'll respond favorably to being baffled by bullshit! Unfortunately, a certain number of people do respond to this appeal. They are the ones so ignorant and insecure they are terrified of missing out (TOMO? Instead of FOMO?).

    They figure whoever can say things they don't understand must know more than they do. Probably too much trouble to follow this guy, but my bet is he'll be long gone – maybe selling used cars – in six months!

    Or, a captain of the advertising industry!

    Best regards!

    Tim Orr

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tim, great hearing from you! Been too long. Your BBB line (being baffled by bullshit) is spot on and terrific. Love it. Do keep in touch!
      —DH

      Delete
  3. From long-time subscriber, David Amkraut:
    How could I not agree with everything in the article. I get incomprehensible Email and letters like this every day, as I’m sure you do.
    In my experience, many engineers, computer geeks, and the like, are not capable of writing like human beings. There’s a lot of anecdotal evidence that such groups include a fair percentage of members who are on the autism spectrum to some extent. (But high-functioning, of course.) Maybe that’s part of it.
    I had a very good English teacher in high school. When he retired (who can deal with teenagers for decades?) he got a job with a big Silicon Valley company, teaching its engineers how to write like human beings. And he found it challenging.
    In passing, my own profession, law, suffers from a similar problem of incomprehensible writing. Using technical terms unknown to a non-attorney reader is one problem. Then there are double and triple negatives, page-long paragraphs, and on and on. I’ve seen plenty of writing that is off the scales for the Gunning Fog Index or the Flesch or other measurements of readability. A certain number of lawyers emerge from law school thinking big words help impress. They are
    are incapable of saying “Use” rather than “Utilize. ”The top legal writers, in contrast, know how to make things so simple that a lay person or even a dull judge can get it. I like having a 12-year-old or two read what I have written and give me feedback on what was clear and what needed reworking.
    You would enjoy the brief writing of a former acquaintance of mine. He boiled confusion down to an art form. To me, when one cites a case as authority, one says it is “the same as” or “similar to” or “on all fours with” the present case. My friend would always say, “Our case is not inapposite with Case A.” Well, “apposite” means alike, and is therefore the opposite of “opposite.” Therefore, “inapposite” means different from. And therefore “not inapposite” means “the same.” Got all that? Why can’t he say “the same” rather than “not inapposite?”
    Keep up the good work.
    David Amkraut

    FROM DH: Great comment, David. Thank you, thank you.

    ReplyDelete